Hi! I'm new to the game, I tried out some stuff the other night and I would love some advice on how to deal with this kind of situation in the future.
I was going to go out with a friend, but the guy copped out so I decided to run solo. I went at a bar where I knew a couple of guys, stayed there an hour, then got bored and left for another place. I was supposed to meet another person there, but he didn't show up, so I walked up to a group of three guys and used a situational opener (commenting on the state of the local pub). I then made a bit of a joke about it, made them laugh, and they seemed to accept me in the group.
For the record I wasn't using any canned opener or special techniques – this is something I already tend to do on my own and I didn't need to rehearse. I wasn't even thinking of women – yet.
After a few minutes two girls, one of whom is decidedly hot, join our clique. And that's when I try using the Mystery Method: I completely ignore the girl I like and keep speaking to the guys; then, when she tries speaking to me, I neg her ('Man, someone's loud. Is she always so loud?') while simultaneously starting out on some body contact.
I was doing it for the sake of trial more than anything else, but I was STUNNED at how well it worked. She was all over me! Body contact escalated and all the while she was struggling to capture my attention (one of the guys there had apparently made a pass on her earlier and been rejected – you could read the envy on his face from a mile off). After a while I saw I had to isolate her; so, instead of inviting her in for a beer, I told her that I was going in for one. She then said she'd follow me, though she stayed outside for a while to say goodbye to her mates.
I went in and waited, making random conversation with people there. She came in, I brought her a drink, and we chatted for quite a while, during which time I just kept in mind the very simple principle of alternating pulls and pushes (or IOIs and IODs) of escalating magnitude, plus going for closer and closer body contact. Again, none of this was precanned; the conversation resulting from my attempt at seduction wasn't any less spontaneous than others I've had in the past when trying to seduce a woman by showering her with compliments and attention. The only real difference was, this time she was working for my attention, not the other way round. (eg: she stated she was really pretty – which she was – in an obvious attempt to demonstrate value; I responded by teasing her on how she also had 'a really big ego', then taking her hands and laughing, thus softening the push with a pull).
At a certain point she said something on how, when she's drunk, she 'goes around kissing everybody she finds'. I thought: right. Time to start working for the kiss. And that's when I used my only canned line of the night, one taught by Mystery for the kiss-close: he says he asks the girl, 'Do you want to kiss me?' If she says yes (very rare), you kiss. If she says maybe or hesitates, you say, 'let's find out' and kiss her.
In my case, the girl hesitated for a second, then said no. I responded like Mystery suggests: 'I didn't say you could. It just looked like you had something on your mind.' (smile).
She seemed to go back to normal, but it looks like that was the moment when I blew it. A short while later she started telling me her personal life-story on how she had wanted to be a swimmer but had to stop for an injury, which was only the springboard for a much more extensive monologue on how she had been dumped by her boyfriend. I tried to dissuade her initially and slowly bring her back to other topics, but it proved a fruitless endeavour – if anything, she gathered momentum and was soon raving on how her boyfriend had 'taught her life again' and how much he meant to her, etc. etc.
I don't mean to be insensitive – it was indeed a touching story, one which, in another moment and from someone I knew, I would have been sympathetic to – but it was not what I wanted to hear. So I was kind of grateful when a friend of hers came over, started chatting to me, and the original girl left to go talk with her other friends. Almost half-heartedly, I did the same as before (this one was not quite so hot, but she was okay) and alternated push to pull. It worked so powerfully that I was actually quite unprepared for it, and when I decided I in fact didn't want to snog this girl yet (I would have in another occasion; but the thing is that I really wanted to leave the doors with the original girl open), it was kind of hard to pull out. She was really forward and later implored me to call her... looks like I really hit home with her.
(In retrospect, maybe what I should have done would have been to snog the second girl. I would have had fun for the night while simultaneously establishing attraction over the first girl in case of future meetings.)
Eventually I got the phone numbers off both girls and left. I phoned the hot girl first, but it appears she was really troubled in her mind – she pretended not to remember who I was because she was 'drunk'. Of course, that's utter bullshit – she wasn't NEARLY so drunk as to go towards a memory-loss (I've seen quite a few), and she would have been told by her friends anyway. But this was so unexpected I didn't call her bullshit on the phone, and I just hung up. Not sure what to do now – would like to call the other girl just as a friend (I need some more people to socialise with), but things are looking a bit complicated.
Probably will leave both things aside and go looking for something else. I don't want to mess my mind over this, and these techniques call for a lot more practice. I'm having great fun so far.
So my questions are:
1.) If she starts talking about her ex-boyfriend and seems set to go on a self-pity monologue, how do I get her back on the rails of attraction discourse? (I tried a couple of negs - 'you're starting to lose me,' 'it's been three minutes and it feels like an hour', but nothing worked).
2.) Is there any point in my story where it seems really evident I fucked up? I'm assuming I should have kiss-closed different, but maybe I just didn't build it up properly? Or maybe I should have followed up Mystery's line differently?
