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First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalate!
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Author:  olrusky [ Tue May 10, 2016 11:46 am ]
Post subject:  First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalate!
Have been messaging this girl I've known for sometime, but only recently asked her out for a drink (shes a friend of a friend)

We went to a local pub and had some tea and had a really good time, laughing flirting etc, but because she was sitting some way away I struggled to escalate. We then drove to a garage to pick up some snacks, and again my car is quite big so I struggled to escalate (she was almost out of reach)!

We then when to a late night ice cream parlour and just chilled and laughed, again good conversation, average chemistry, but almost no physical escalation due to sitting opposite sides of the table.

I took her home, a friendly peck on the cheek and a warm hug and I was left thinking, shit, after only 2 hours I'm almost in the friendzone despite her being interested!

I text her about the date shortly after it finished saying "thanks had a great time etc" but I feel like this needs to escalate quickly. I haven't bought up the topic of sex at all in basically 3 hours of date & text game,

Would I be better to starting escalating sexually via text, or just organise another date and do it there?

Shes really cool, and I'm on the verge of fucking it without actually doing anything wrong!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue May 10, 2016 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Clue; she was waiting for you to escalate.

It's time to add some energy to your banter. "I would invite you to come over this weekend, but I’m not sure I can keep my hands to myself." Or "There’s this really sexy hot chick I’ve been thinking about all day long . . . what should I do about it?"

Can you carry this further on your own?
Author:  Portugal.Thy.Man [ Tue May 10, 2016 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Google "DiCarlo Escalation Ladder".

Awesome summary of all the essential escalation steps laid out in simple terms. I believe it will improve your chances a lot in this case.

Good luck!
Author:  R.C [ Wed May 11, 2016 6:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Quote:
We went to a local pub and had some tea and had a really good time, laughing flirting etc, but because she was sitting some way away I struggled to escalate.
Why are you talking as if you had no choice in the matter? You chose to sit across from her. Never sit across from her. It's not an interview, it's a date.

Either place yourself next to her, tell her to place herself next to you or sit at a 90 degree angle.

Never
sit
across
from
each-other
Quote:
We then drove to a garage to pick up some snacks, and again my car is quite big so I struggled to escalate (she was almost out of reach)!

You drive a limo or what?
Quote:
We then when to a late night ice cream parlour and just chilled and laughed, again good conversation, average chemistry, but almost no physical escalation due to sitting opposite sides of the table.

I took her home, a friendly peck on the cheek and a warm hug and I was left thinking, shit, after only 2 hours I'm almost in the friendzone despite her being interested!
So you know escalation is hindered if you sit on opposite sides.
You then proceed to sit on opposite sides anyway.
Then you post about you didn't escalate because you sat on opposite sides.

Sit. Next. To. Her.

What's next? going on a date each to a different pub them complaining that you couldn't escalate because she was on the other side of town?
Seriously.
Quote:
I text her about the date shortly after it finished saying "thanks had a great time etc" but I feel like this needs to escalate quickly. I haven't bought up the topic of sex at all in basically 3 hours of date & text game,
For the love of manhood, please leave the women be the women. "Thanks I had a great time"? for what? for the privilege of breathing the same air as she did for a couple hours?

When a woman sends you that text, it's appropriate. Because as a man you invited her out, chose a venue, an activity, you led the interaction, you showed her a good time and probably even payed a drink or two.
So yeah. She might thank you for it. And that's cool.

However the other way around as about as normal as the doctor thanking the patient for the privilege of treating him.
Quote:
Would I be better to starting escalating sexually via text, or just organise another date and do it there?
Another date. Asap.
Quote:
I'm on the verge of fucking it without actually doing anything wrong!
[/quote]

You sure about that last part?
Author:  olrusky [ Wed May 11, 2016 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
RC your fucking brutal, but the advice is on point.

I've just text her "Jungle Book is on tonight. Everyone I know has seen it and I don't want to miss the boat! you in?"

Now at least we're not sitting opposite each other!

Just typing this I've realised I've fucked up because we can't speak during a movie.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed May 11, 2016 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
A movie date, lol, even worse.
Author:  olrusky [ Wed May 11, 2016 4:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
She responded with "Can't tonight, promised my nan I would take her for dinner tonight. I'm free sunday evening!"

I'm actually on another date on Sunday so I responded with:

"I can't sunday I'm busy, and I'm on holiday Monday - Saturday too. If I miss the jungle book boat your responsible!"

we then traded some generic texts, I tried to escalate with "I'll be sure to send you photos to make you jealous chilling on a beach"

She said

"Oh ill send some back of me enjoying the english sun!"

And I said

"Okay they will have to be raunchy though because I have a bullshit picture filter built into my phone that only lets the good ones through"

She has shit tested me with

"Dreaming again are we? :P"

Whats a good response to that!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed May 11, 2016 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Quote:
"Dreaming again are we? :P"

Whats a good response to that!
"You know you want to. ( o )Y( o)"
Author:  olrusky [ Wed May 11, 2016 5:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
haha love that emote! will be sure to use that in the future.

I went with -

"no I'm definitely not dreaming. My dreams are far naughtier than a raunchy photo"

She said

"haha thats enough information!"

and I said "your probably right. you do not want to know what yo were doing last night in my dreams!"

and she has said

":O no I certainly do not!!!!"


I'm fairly sure she's half joking, half serious. I don't know what to do. I've tried to escalate via text and come across creepy, but can't see her until next friday because of my holiday / other date.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed May 11, 2016 5:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Tell HER she has a dirty mind.
Author:  olrusky [ Wed May 11, 2016 6:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Quote:
Tell HER she has a dirty mind.
That worked very well ;)

She has responded with

"No I'm an angel!!!"

Now how do I play this, knowing I can't plan a date until a week or so away
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed May 11, 2016 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Quote:
Quote:
Tell HER she has a dirty mind.
That worked very well ;)

She has responded with

"No I'm an angel!!!"

Now how do I play this, knowing I can't plan a date until a week or so away
Why the fuck not?
Author:  olrusky [ Wed May 11, 2016 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
I just always feel its kind of weird to be like, okay I'm back from holiday next saturday so see you next sunday! I'm worried I can't maintain a decent amount of rapport for a week.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed May 11, 2016 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Quote:
I just always feel its kind of weird to be like, okay I'm back from holiday next saturday so see you next sunday! I'm worried I can't maintain a decent amount of rapport for a week.
Why do you you feel you owe her a constant rapport for a week?
Just keep it light and flirty....and sparse.
Quote:
Okay I'm back from holiday next Saturday so see you next Sunday! We can compare holiday selfies
If I have to do any more of the work -for you- I'm gonna put MY dick in her.
Author:  olrusky [ Wed May 11, 2016 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First date went well, good fun, but struggled to escalat
Quote:
Quote:
I just always feel its kind of weird to be like, okay I'm back from holiday next saturday so see you next sunday! I'm worried I can't maintain a decent amount of rapport for a week.
Why do you you feel you owe her a constant rapport for a week?
Just keep it light and flirty....and sparse.
Quote:
Okay I'm back from holiday next Saturday so see you next Sunday! We can compare holiday selfies
If I have to do any more of the work -for you- I'm gonna put MY dick in her.
Light, flirty and sparse. Thats three very good words I need to draw in permanent pen onto the top of my iPhone. I'll do just that. will report back and let you know how it goes!

in other news, circus with a chick on friday, then seaside with another on saturday!
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