PUA Forum :: Keeping me at arms length?

when she declines a date offer, she will then initiate a convo but not suggest a new date.

Quote:

when she declines a date offer, she will then initiate a convo but not suggest a new date.

Go without her.

What do you want from her?

I want the path towards a relationship.

Quote:

I want the path towards a relationship.

And do you think she's making the same investment? Not even mentioning relationship but I'm not sure this girl is particularly interested in dating you either.

Either way she's not pulling her own weight, so give her an opportunity to do so. If she does, there's your answer. If she doesn't, well, there's your answer as well.

Show sexual interest. FFS! I seem to be saying this a lot lately. As though I'm blowing a silent dog whistle only a select few can hear.

I don't see how moving is a valid excuse.

It's not like she suddenly woke up 60 miles away and now she has to drive one hour every time you guys want to meet. She knew what it involved. You both did. You continued seeing each other despite of it.

Seems she's being lazy.

I don't really get the picture here. You were dating and she was living close by? then she moved? How long have you been seeing each other?

Anyway, personally I'd shift my focus towards meeting new girls. Preferably someone that lives closer by. And let her put in some effort in the meantime.

It seems to me that she's either not that interested in you, or playing hard to get. In the first case, it is a hopeless case, in the second case, you need to make it clear that you don't like it that way.

See how she reacts, by then it should be clear to you what to do next.

Author:	kball [ Sun Apr 17, 2016 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Keeping me at arms length?
We've been on about 6-7 dates. When we meet up she gives me all IOI that exists. Eye pupils are big, her body language is always directed towards me (like she will always sit beside me with her legs angled towards me). Make-out sessions. Good compliance. She will give me long hugs. We have also had sex a couple of times. She will also got a little bit jealous a couple of times. When we text, i am often the one to end the convos with either just not answering if her or saying that I'm gonna do xyz talk to you later. She will double text me in every other convo we have and be generally excited when we text. We usually have a flirty teasing vibe going on, both IRL and on text. The problem im facing is that she is difficult to actually get out on dates. Granted we live about 1 hour drive apart so we can only see eachother on weekends. But she rarely counter-offer. She has only once or twice suggested a date herself but mostly it has come from me. I have tried freezing her out when she declines a date offer, she will then initiate a convo but not suggest a new date. So my question is, do I persist? Do I talk to her about it or do I dissappear and hope that she will figure out why and come back in full force so to speak? I get the perception that she keeps me at arms length since she's said that she doesnt want a relationship right now (not that i've ever asked or even implied anything) but when we do meet up she cant resist me? I am a bit confused, since her IRL behavour doesnt match her text-behavoir.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Apr 18, 2016 1:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Quote: when she declines a date offer, she will then initiate a convo but not suggest a new date. Go without her.

Author:	R.C [ Tue Apr 19, 2016 9:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
What do you want from her?

Author:	kball [ Tue Apr 19, 2016 9:42 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Quote: Quote: when she declines a date offer, she will then initiate a convo but not suggest a new date. Go without her. Well, yea if I invited her to come along to some event and she's declined I have went anyway! Quote: What do you want from her? I want the path towards a relationship. I think neither her or me are emotionally there yet to be thinking about bf and gf but i'd like to explore the journey towards it. I'm just afraid to be percieved as needy when I invite her for dates and she doesnt counter offer. She will try and continue the convo and such but still, no counter-offer. Maybe twice she's counter-offered in a lame "but perhaps next week?" kind of thing.

Author:	R.C [ Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Quote: I want the path towards a relationship. And do you think she's making the same investment? Not even mentioning relationship but I'm not sure this girl is particularly interested in dating you either. Either way she's not pulling her own weight, so give her an opportunity to do so. If she does, there's your answer. If she doesn't, well, there's your answer as well.

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Author:	kball [ Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Quote: Quote: I want the path towards a relationship. And do you think she's making the same investment? Not even mentioning relationship but I'm not sure this girl is particularly interested in dating you either. Either way she's not pulling her own weight, so give her an opportunity to do so. If she does, there's your answer. If she doesn't, well, there's your answer as well. She is definitately investing more than enough IRL, when we actually meet up in person. But I don't think she is pulling her own weight in actually making the dates happen. Which is what makes me confused and thus writing this thread. One would think that seeing as her behavoir IRL is like she's in love with me but then making it difficult in actually meeting up Before she moved to a new city she was much easier to get out on dates. It was now when she recently moved that I got the feeling that she's now keeping me at arms length. Do you sugggest I stop asking her out but keep contact? If then, how often should we be in contact?

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Show sexual interest. FFS! I seem to be saying this a lot lately. As though I'm blowing a silent dog whistle only a select few can hear.

Author:	R.C [ Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
I don't see how moving is a valid excuse. It's not like she suddenly woke up 60 miles away and now she has to drive one hour every time you guys want to meet. She knew what it involved. You both did. You continued seeing each other despite of it. Seems she's being lazy. I don't really get the picture here. You were dating and she was living close by? then she moved? How long have you been seeing each other? Anyway, personally I'd shift my focus towards meeting new girls. Preferably someone that lives closer by. And let her put in some effort in the meantime.

Author:	kball [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Quote: Show sexual interest. FFS! I seem to be saying this a lot lately. As though I'm blowing a silent dog whistle only a select few can hear. Hehe, do you mean in conversations or in actions or both? Quote: I don't see how moving is a valid excuse. It's not like she suddenly woke up 60 miles away and now she has to drive one hour every time you guys want to meet. She knew what it involved. You both did. You continued seeing each other despite of it. Seems she's being lazy. I don't really get the picture here. You were dating and she was living close by? then she moved? How long have you been seeing each other? Anyway, personally I'd shift my focus towards meeting new girls. Preferably someone that lives closer by. And let her put in some effort in the meantime. Yea she lived here then she moved when her law firm opened a new office. She's there to smooth operatings then she's gonna move back in like 6 months or so. What actions do you suggest I take? Stop setting up dates?

Author:	MagicPlus [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 6:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
It seems to me that she's either not that interested in you, or playing hard to get. In the first case, it is a hopeless case, in the second case, you need to make it clear that you don't like it that way. See how she reacts, by then it should be clear to you what to do next.

Author:	R.C [ Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Keeping me at arms length?
Quote: It seems to me that she's either not that interested in you, or playing hard to get. In the first case, it is a hopeless case, in the second case, you need to make it clear that you don't like it that way. See how she reacts, by then it should be clear to you what to do next. You don't play hard to get after 7 dates, lol. OP, yes. Stop setting up dates and let her take some initiative.

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