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This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
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Author:  qlds [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Hello guys.
Im new to the forum.

Registerd to get good advice on this situation as it has been tearing me up for weeks now!

I met this beautiful girl at a bar 1-2 months back.
Got her number.

At the end of the night she started texting me, showing alot of interest.
She was complaining about not getting enough time with me etc.

It did feel good.

We set up a date and it was awesome.
Logistics were bad so we just made out and touched eachother over a couple of drinks.

We met 2 other times after this.

The thirt time being this tuesday over coffe.
She had a hurry to meet me after work.
I managed to bring her home but she gave me LMR for (as I think) not shaving her legs.

Eitherway.

The main issue here is that she replies instantly to my messages.
Really breif though. No emojies, no interest or anything!
She simply replies with logistics.

(I think she might have gotten this from me as I only answeard with "ok" and logistics when she first started investing in me over text. But as I've gotten deeper in to oneities I find myself validating her apperence alot over snapchat etc. Telling her how good looking she is etc. Im turning in to pure fucking validation to her!!!)

And in persone she's really loving.

But, I cant get her out of my head.
It must be onieties becaus Im allways thinking about this chick, its crazy!
And since she's showing me so little interest and affection when we're not seing eachother it makes me nervous and anxious to be close to her.

I know how this sounds.

But Im usualy not like this.
Im fairly advanced with women outside of this chick. She's turning me in to the disgusting beta I never knew I was.

So, as this is ruining my mental state and Im getting more and more beta towards her Im left with few options.

Either I continue to hit her up and ask her out for dates. Or I go radiosilence and just forget about her.

Please, what are your thoughts?
Thank you for your time!
Author:  JackZero [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Why aren't you seeing her at your place at this point?
Author:  qlds [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
Why aren't you seeing her at your place at this point?
Good question.
I had a date planned with another girl. Our first.
But she flaked on me about 1 hour ago, becaus she had no way to get in to town. (her words.)
Thats no loss, happens from time to time...

And my oneities lives 40 minute buss away.
And she just posted herself sitting at home eating chocolate by herself.
I asked her in a flirty way if I could join and she answeared with "In your deams, this chocolate is mine."
Which I took as rejection.
Author:  JackZero [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
Quote:
Why aren't you seeing her at your place at this point?
Good question.
I had a date planned with another girl. Our first.
But she flaked on me about 1 hour ago.
Thats no loss, happens from time to time...

And my oneities lives 40 minute buss away.
And she just posted herself sitting at home eating chocolate by herself.
I asked her in a flirty way if I could join and she answeared with "In your deams, this chocolate is mine."
Which I took as rejection.
Again, why aren't you having her come over to your place?
Author:  qlds [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
Again, why aren't you having her come over to your place?

Im sorry I mixed up point as time.

I dont have any excuse for that.
I guess I dont want to come off as too needy.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Why aren't you seeing her at your place at this point?
Good question.
I had a date planned with another girl. Our first.
But she flaked on me about 1 hour ago.
Thats no loss, happens from time to time...

And my oneities lives 40 minute buss away.
And she just posted herself sitting at home eating chocolate by herself.
I asked her in a flirty way if I could join and she answeared with "In your deams, this chocolate is mine."
Which I took as rejection.
Again, why aren't you having her come over to your place?
Quote:
Registerd to get good advice
Author:  JackZero [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
From what I understand so far is that you've been around this girl four times and made out once and from there your interactions were made less sexual. There should be a build up to sex and instead you deescalated with this girl. IMO, that meeting up for coffee started the decline into her seeing you as a sexual option.

If I were in your place, I would invite her over and if she gave me an excuse then that would be the last time I would initiate any contact with her. The moment I hear from her again, I'd repeat the same process but this time I wouldn't try again or respond unless she made the offer to meet up.
Author:  qlds [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
From what I understand so far is that you've been around this girl four times and made out once and from there your interactions were made less sexual. There should be a build up to sex and instead you deescalated with this girl. IMO, that meeting up for coffee started the decline into her seeing you as a sexual option.

If I were in your place, I would invite her over and if she gave me an excuse then that would be the last time I would initiate any contact with her. The moment I hear from her again, I'd repeat the same process but this time I wouldn't try again or respond unless she made the offer to meet up.
Thank you. Ill follow this process!
I wont ask her to come over tonight though.
Her buss wont be her untill 00.30 and I have alot of shit to do tomorrow!

Ill do it on wednessday.
Do I call her the same day or a couple of days ahead?
Author:  JackZero [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
Quote:
From what I understand so far is that you've been around this girl four times and made out once and from there your interactions were made less sexual. There should be a build up to sex and instead you deescalated with this girl. IMO, that meeting up for coffee started the decline into her seeing you as a sexual option.

If I were in your place, I would invite her over and if she gave me an excuse then that would be the last time I would initiate any contact with her. The moment I hear from her again, I'd repeat the same process but this time I wouldn't try again or respond unless she made the offer to meet up.
Thank you. Ill follow this process!
I wont ask her to come over tonight though.
Her buss wont be her untill 00.30 and I have alot of shit to do tomorrow!

Ill do it on wednessday.
Do I call her the same day or a couple of days ahead?
Women are different. Some are fine with same day and others like some notice. I personally like inviting the same day or night before because I may change my mind by Wednesday.
Author:  qlds [ Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
Women are different. Some are fine with same day and others like some notice. I personally like inviting the same day or night before because I may change my mind by Wednesday.
Thank you very much I appriciate it.
Author:  Fahreineit [ Sun Apr 24, 2016 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Am I the only one thinking the text about the chocolate was actually not a rejection ?
Author:  kball [ Sun Apr 24, 2016 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
I might be a n00b at this but I too don't think the chocolate text was a rejection. She opened the door slightly in a playful way for you to flirt back, with something like "yea? I'll wrestle you for it" or something like that.
Author:  Fahreineit [ Sun Apr 24, 2016 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
"yea? I'll wrestle you for it"
Kball, THAT WAS GOOD !
Author:  R.C [ Mon Apr 25, 2016 8:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: This girl is making me insane. Honestly.
Quote:
But Im usualy not like this.
I totally believe that. Just like I totally believe girls when they say "I don't usually do this".
Quote:
I guess I dont want to come off as too needy.
I really don't get this type of mentality. Your dates, as Jack pointed out, are going backwards in terms of sexuality because you're not doing anything about it. No surprise there. And you're cool with that because if you LEAD them in the direction you desire them to go that somehow makes you needy?

Being true to yourself, which is practically the definition of non-needy, is something you fear doing because you don't want to come across as needy. Do you understand the irony behind that?
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