PUA Forum :: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule

So this happened to me a couple times recently. The girl I was going to see cancels pretty last minute and has a seemingly legit reason. On top of this she keeps saying how sorry she is, suggests another time and activity.

As a rule I never want to tell the girl it was ok that she flaked because it's really not ok. I know that in this kind of situation I'll get the next date but I think finding a way to let her know that this generally wouldn't be alright with me would help a lot. It's a chance to show that I do need people to respect my time because I respect myself.

Ane else dealt with this or something similar?

If you had 100 hot chicks waiting to date you on a drop of a hat and she cancelled on you....would you truly care?

Probably not, you'd be like "OK" and text another girl & have her go out with you

So when you tell a woman that "it's not OK" she knows that you don't have a lot of options and it drops your attractiveness

Actually I would care

There are a lot of people who get hurt by something and pretend they're fine or that something was no big deal anyway (being afraid to show how they really feel. A big DLV in my opinion).

I haven't found an effective way to communicate that I'm not that person. That I legitimately wanted the date but that I also don't care that it didn't work out. They almost seem slightly in conflict.

Might just need to focus on it a little more.

There is no effective way to communicate what you want bc either way the highest value male will not react to a flake.

Oh, and stop FOCUSING on ONE thing.

If you had a interview at Google, and you just canceled your interview last minute, do you think you would be getting another interview anytime soon? This is where communicating your value early on becomes important. And the more you believe in your value, the less you have to try and communicate it.

Author:	1234567890123 [ Sun Jul 12, 2015 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:	How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
So this happened to me a couple times recently. The girl I was going to see cancels pretty last minute and has a seemingly legit reason. On top of this she keeps saying how sorry she is, suggests another time and activity. As a rule I never want to tell the girl it was ok that she flaked because it's really not ok. I know that in this kind of situation I'll get the next date but I think finding a way to let her know that this generally wouldn't be alright with me would help a lot. It's a chance to show that I do need people to respect my time because I respect myself. Ane else dealt with this or something similar?

Author:	Dragula [ Sun Jul 12, 2015 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
If her mum has died then I don't think you should tell her that you're okay with her flaking. So it depends on her reason, if she picks to go out with her girlies over me I will just playfully say something like 'no problemo, you will have to make it up to me on another time'

Author:	HugoMoreno [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Quote: So this happened to me a couple times recently. The girl I was going to see cancels pretty last minute and has a seemingly legit reason. On top of this she keeps saying how sorry she is, suggests another time and activity. As a rule I never want to tell the girl it was ok that she flaked because it's really not ok. I know that in this kind of situation I'll get the next date but I think finding a way to let her know that this generally wouldn't be alright with me would help a lot. It's a chance to show that I do need people to respect my time because I respect myself. Ane else dealt with this or something similar? If you had 100 hot chicks waiting to date you on a drop of a hat and she cancelled on you....would you truly care? Probably not, you'd be like "OK" and text another girl & have her go out with you So when you tell a woman that "it's not OK" she knows that you don't have a lot of options and it drops your attractiveness

Author:	1234567890123 [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Quote: If you had 100 hot chicks waiting to date you on a drop of a hat and she cancelled on you....would you truly care? Probably not, you'd be like "OK" and text another girl & have her go out with you So when you tell a woman that "it's not OK" she knows that you don't have a lot of options and it drops your attractiveness Actually I would care because I end up not booking dates with some girls. So when one flakes on me I'm annoyed because I could've met up with a girl I'm already seeing. It wastes my time. I'm not talking about 48 hours notice cancellations. I mean like 12 hours or less and they flake. One thing I have done twice since my initial post make her plan all of the next date or part of it.

Author:	masterm1ne [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Quote: Actually I would care Ok well you missed the point. In order to be really great at this, the right answer is you won't care because a man of high value has other things to do with his time [other women to see]. In order to be a master at this, you have to think like a very hot woman does. She has so much dick thrown at her she won't cry if she doesn't have 1 dick. Right now you're thinking like an ugly chick that is starved of dick!!! I mean come on I'm sure you can figure out something else to do with your time if you're 12 hours out. Planning your whole life around dates or girls or any one thing is unhealthly. It's unrealistic to say your 12 hours is now ruined cuz A girl flaked. Go game other women in the time you were going to spend on the date!

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Author:	1234567890123 [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Oooh ok. So I think I get where your coming from now. It's the idea that I'm the kind of guy who's going to have a good time no matter what. I understand that I'm responsible for my own happiness and no one else has the power to affect that by just bailing on plans. However there is a small problem I've found. There are a lot of people who get hurt by something and pretend they're fine or that something was no big deal anyway (being afraid to show how they really feel. A big DLV in my opinion). I haven't found an effective way to communicate that I'm not that person. That I legitimately wanted the date but that I also don't care that it didn't work out. They almost seem slightly in conflict. Might just need to focus on it a little more.

Author:	masterm1ne [ Thu Jul 16, 2015 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Quote: There are a lot of people who get hurt by something and pretend they're fine or that something was no big deal anyway (being afraid to show how they really feel. A big DLV in my opinion). I haven't found an effective way to communicate that I'm not that person. That I legitimately wanted the date but that I also don't care that it didn't work out. They almost seem slightly in conflict. Might just need to focus on it a little more. There might be FAKERS out there... or... MAYBE ... once you experience a flake so many times you will be desensitized to it and will truly not care about it. Esp when you realize how many beautiful women there are on this planet, and that beauty really is only skin deep. You might find a beautiful girl, but are they actually level headed? There is no effective way to communicate what you want bc either way the highest value male will not react to a flake. Oh, and stop FOCUSING on ONE thing.

Author:	1234567890123 [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 1:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Quote: There is no effective way to communicate what you want bc either way the highest value male will not react to a flake. Fair enough. Try to please everyone and you please no one. Be powerfully you and attract a smaller % of girls more strongly. The smaller % doesn't matter because there are so many out there. That I get. Probably worth taking it more to heart. I go on 2-4 dates a week so I'm not stuck in a scarcity mentality or anything. Just trying to improve the quality of dates by setting expectations/framing them before meeting up. Overally doing this had a big impact so I was just looking for other ways to do it. Quote: Oh, and stop FOCUSING on ONE thing. Not quite sure what you mean. I don't just focus on one point at a time. I always have 2 or 3 unrelated weekly challenges. Maybe misinterpreting you but I'm not sure I follow.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 6:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Its more than just "showing" its about YOU genuinely respecting your own time. If i set out time to hang with a girl I've put aside plans to hang with buddies, a potentially meet up with another girl, or planned time for another activity. So if you flake on me, I respect my time enough to just never speak to you again. If you had a interview at Google, and you just canceled your interview last minute, do you think you would be getting another interview anytime soon? This is where communicating your value early on becomes important. And the more you believe in your value, the less you have to try and communicate it. I'm google bro. This is an opportunity. You would have to come with an over the top offer to get me to consider seeing you again after you waste my time. A mans time is what a womans wants. Its a time vs pussy thing. We want the pussy without giving up that much of our time, and they want as much of our time before having to give up the pussy. And the more our time is worth, the less of it we have to give away to get what it is we want in return. The more they feel their sex is worth, the more of your time they'll require before giving it up. Treat your time with more value and you will subconsciously begin believing in the value you have a lot more.

Author:	Dragula [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Quote: If you had a interview at Google, and you just canceled your interview last minute, do you think you would be getting another interview anytime soon? This is where communicating your value early on becomes important. And the more you believe in your value, the less you have to try and communicate it. I would Google for a way to get the 2nd interview

Author:	1234567890123 [ Fri Jul 17, 2015 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to handle flakes who want to reschedule
Love the interview analogy. I think trying to jam in as many activities into my week as possible (dates and otherwise) has gotten me a little too jittery. My weeks are usually very planned vs flexible. So the solution I'm going to try then is to have a list of other activities that I can do if any plans fall through. If a girl flakes for a terrible reason then I'll continue what I'm doing now and not follow up. If she flakes for a reason that seems very legitimate then I'll only reschedule if I don't have something else to do and I'll have other plans regardless. That way I really don't have to care what the result is.

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