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Flakers gonna Flake
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Author:  Apollo87 [ Sun May 17, 2015 8:45 am ]
Post subject:  Flakers gonna Flake

Need good advice efficiently and quickly-

Have a lot of girls on the go on Tinder. Click with one in particular, chat for a few hours, lot of interest.

Ask out, says sure. Get number and facebook.

Chat on facebook a bit but not as engaging, was with someone else so had to keep the messages kind of short. Left it after a while.

Next day I messaged to confirm if she was still up for meeting. She gives me the old "I haven't hung out with my mother" excuse and flakes. I wasn't direct enough and let it in her court.

Me- Still have plans or did you want to grab coffee later?
Her-I still haven't managed to catch up with mum cos she's been out all day so I don't think I'll be able to sorry"
Me-Too easy, maybe another day :)
Her-Another day would be good for sure :)

I realize I should of been way more direct but we had talked for some time and things were good.

Anyway we chatted for a bit afterward, seemed a bit forced. I left it after that and haven't said anything to her since. She's active on tinder (as am I) so probably talking to a 100 guys anyway.

How should I proceed?

I know there are heaps of other girls, I'm talking to them right now! I do have a thing for this one and it'd be nice if I could at least secure a date so I can see what's she's like. Some real advice would be awesome.

Author:  Winchester [ Mon May 18, 2015 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flakers gonna Flake

Tinder is terrible, it is literally the least amount of investment you can make in a person and should be thought of as bottom of the dating food chain.

You need to get more investment, give her a call, afterwork/early evening still around 8/9 pm when she's more likely to be hanging around in her house by herself. Don't text, just call her.

One of two things will happen. She'll answer and you'll hit it off and get her to invest more, that way she's way more likely commit to a date, or two, she doesn't and she's probably not too bothered about you. In which case you have nothing to lose.

It doesn't sound like you are, but don't get too beat up about tinder, it basically attempts to index your whole personality and self into 5 photos and a sentence...it is not a reflection of you or how awesome you are.

Hope that helps.

-C

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue May 19, 2015 12:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flakers gonna Flake

She sounds pretty darned uninterested to me...

And that's either because she's tried you on for size and didn't like what she saw... (chatted with you), or she's simply not interested because you haven't built enough attraction yet.

You have lots of girls on the go - don't focus on this one (she's giving you excuses anyway, so won't do anything with you)... Hit one of the others up. If this one comes back to you, great... If not, you have lots of others.

Author:  Dragula [ Tue May 19, 2015 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flakers gonna Flake

Don't do Facebook after tinder

Strike whilst the iron is hot and keep the fire a light. With online dating in general. You tend to need to get investment after each delay (sleep etc)

You're still a stranger and they will flake very easily if you don't meet up with them with in a week and are actively keeping her engaged by you.

Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue May 19, 2015 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Flakers gonna Flake

Bro,

You're only going to get flaked on when you communicate from a frame of willing to stick around despite a flake. I say this on the forum a lot, but if you want to learn to not get flaked on you have to begin cutting women off the moment they flake. This will build you emotionally to a guy that communicates from a stronger frame. A frame women won't want to flake on.

Its no surprise that the one girl that you have a "thing" for is the one who flakes.

You don't have a thing for her, she's just the most attractive one (by your standards) thats showing the most interest. Now so what? She doesn't get treated any differently.

Learn to walk while you still have cards on the table man. Its a step back today that will lead to 3 steps forward tomorrow.

Author:  R.C [ Wed May 20, 2015 6:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Flakers gonna Flake

Why facebook after tinder? It's same level at best, a downgrade at worst. Go for the number and start texting. It's more personal.

I somewhat agree with Eddie, although flakes are the most common thing in the world. I have a 2 strike rule. Flake twice and I'm out.

Author:  Apollo87 [ Mon May 25, 2015 2:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Flakers gonna Flake

Thanks for all the advice guys appreciate it.

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