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Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOIs
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Author:  Hank88 [ Fri May 01, 2015 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOIs
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, so please move to the correct section if necessary.

So I met this girl who's a bit of a tomboy, extremly chatty, and super duper friendly. She'd talk to anyone who talks to her, and always have something to say about everything.

I asked her out to a movie tomorrow and she accepted. Today I went to her workplace and while she was arranging some stuff on a shelf I went up behind her and put my hands on her waist. She turned around surprised but made that 'on it's you' face when she saw me, and didn't pull away. Normally I'd take that as a good IOI but with her I just can't be sure, because she's just so friendly to everyone.

What can I do tomorrow to get some firm idea if she's really interested, of just being friendly?
Author:  Noone [ Fri May 01, 2015 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Quote:
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, so please move to the correct section if necessary.

So I met this girl who's a bit of a tomboy, extremly chatty, and super duper friendly. She'd talk to anyone who talks to her, and always have something to say about everything.

I asked her out to a movie tomorrow and she accepted. Today I went to her workplace and while she was arranging some stuff on a shelf I went up behind her and put my hands on her waist. She turned around surprised but made that 'on it's you' face when she saw me, and didn't pull away. Normally I'd take that as a good IOI but with her I just can't be sure, because she's just so friendly to everyone.

What can I do tomorrow to get some firm idea if she's really interested, of just being friendly?
I'm assuming you should use kino, kino and escalate kino. Push-pull. Create some emotional spikes in your interactions, keep her guessing, create some tension. If she responds to it, she's interested.. if she doesn't and thinks you're just a friend, then re-calibrate.

Defer to the more experienced posters if it is out of line with my suggestion.
Author:  ImPhilosopher [ Fri May 01, 2015 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Use kino and create sexually tension!

Without sexually tension you will be in Friend Zone mate.
Author:  Hank88 [ Fri May 01, 2015 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Quote:
I'm assuming you should use kino, kino and escalate kino. Push-pull. Create some emotional spikes in your interactions, keep her guessing, create some tension. If she responds to it, she's interested.. if she doesn't and thinks you're just a friend, then re-calibrate.
Quote:
Use kino and create sexually tension!

Without sexually tension you will be in Friend Zone mate.
I did use kino(hands on waist), but couldn't be sure if she's just being friendly.

Would appreciate if you guys can give me some specific actions I can perform so that I will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's interested.

Also, when she's with me, she talks almost non-stop about anything and everything, but she doesn't text me once we're apart. Is that any indication of her interest level?
Author:  Noone [ Fri May 01, 2015 6:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Quote:
Quote:
I'm assuming you should use kino, kino and escalate kino. Push-pull. Create some emotional spikes in your interactions, keep her guessing, create some tension. If she responds to it, she's interested.. if she doesn't and thinks you're just a friend, then re-calibrate.
Quote:
Use kino and create sexually tension!

Without sexually tension you will be in Friend Zone mate.
I did use kino(hands on waist), but couldn't be sure if she's just being friendly.

Would appreciate if you guys can give me some specific actions I can perform so that I will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's interested.

Also, when she's with me, she talks almost non-stop about anything and everything, but she doesn't text me once we're apart. Is that any indication of her interest level?
You did most of the work already. Some girls love to text -all- the time, some don't. She probably has other friends to talk to. I wouldn't say its IOI or IOD.

Believe that she already likes you. Everything she does is an IOI. Escalate your kino and deal with things as they come. You'll know if she likes you or not when you make a move.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Fri May 01, 2015 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Assume attraction bro.

Second guess yourself and she will second guess you. Your thoughts influence your frame.

Many of these chatty girls aren't gotten because guys here things like " she's like this with everyone bro", but who cares? Is she not going to have sex just because she's chatty with everyone? Someone has to take the bull by the horns and make something happen.

The secret to seduction is assuming attraction. That frame will make a lot more girls attracted to you than not.

Three of my girlfriends were the exact same way. Super chatty and nice to everyone. And all the guys told me, "She's not flirting, she does this with everyone" but I didn't care. I'm not them. I assumed she was into me. And it was that mentality that allowed her to see me as "just not another guy I'm friendly with". Seduce man. Stop expecting everything to fall into your lap. If she doesn't like you yet, seduce her, make her like you. Thats what this game is all about.
Author:  Hank88 [ Sat May 02, 2015 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
It didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but it didn't go badly either(I think).

Initially I wanted to pick her up early and go for coffee so I can build rapport, but she got home late from dance practice due to traffic so I had to forgo that plan.

I did try to make her hold my hand in the cinema because my hands were cold(they were). I noticed she had her hands between her thighs(under her backpack) to keep them warm and I said my hands are cold and asked to if her hands are warm. She pulled out one hand to let me check and I tried to make her hold my hand to keep it warm but she said no and put her hand back between her thighs. I followed and tried to put my hand between her thigh too but she clamp shut and won't let me. But she didn't get upset so I guess it's just her ASD kicking in.

I wanted to hold her hand as we were leaving the cinema but she put both hands in her pocket, so there goes that plan.

We were supposed to go for dinner after but she changed her mind saying she has to go home to work on her assignment so she can sleep early as she has a job early tomorrow morning(which she told me about yesterday).

She's up for more hanging out though so I'll just have to take a step back and keep trying.
Author:  DrJames [ Sun May 03, 2015 9:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
I'm new here but I'd like to weigh in. That sounds like it went pretty badly.

You tried to hold her hand, she told you no. Then you tried to shove your hand between her legs and she clamped shut. She rejected your hand holding again and then cancelled your dinner date. These are IOD, not ASD.

Move on and meet other girls. The more practice you have the easier it will be for you to read IOIs and IODs.
Author:  H1SOKA [ Mon May 04, 2015 4:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Quote:
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, so please move to the correct section if necessary.

So I met this girl who's a bit of a tomboy, extremly chatty, and super duper friendly. She'd talk to anyone who talks to her, and always have something to say about everything.

I asked her out to a movie tomorrow and she accepted. Today I went to her workplace and while she was arranging some stuff on a shelf I went up behind her and put my hands on her waist. She turned around surprised but made that 'on it's you' face when she saw me, and didn't pull away. Normally I'd take that as a good IOI but with her I just can't be sure, because she's just so friendly to everyone.

What can I do tomorrow to get some firm idea if she's really interested, of just being friendly?
If she doesn't look at least a LITTLE nervous talking to you then she isn't attracted.

I've had the same thing happen to me with friendly girls. They will go on dates and chat endlessly smiling and laughing. She doesn't feel like you are a sexual threat to her. Like if you were alone in a room together that she would get fucked.

When she feels that from you she will naturally become a little self-conscious. If she doesn't then showing your sexual side could be something to work on. Things like maintaining eye contact, standing very close, touching her hands (as you pointed out). If she reacts negatively to this then you can assume she is just a friendly girl that isn't into you. It's happened to me.

Also movies are a really bad way to start dating someone. I really hate movie dates.

You want somewhere where there's a low amount of stimulation and interruptions. Like a park or going for a walk, or at a quiet bar during the weekdays. You don't want to compete with all that stuff for her attention, I mean you have her in isolation with you already. The more relaxed and safe she feels the more attraction is built because she can just let go.
Author:  R.C [ Mon May 04, 2015 11:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
This is a common problem for "new guys". And this is where the "always assume attraction" principle comes into play.

So do it.
Author:  Hank88 [ Sat May 09, 2015 11:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Met extremely friendly girl, finding it hard to read IOI
Quote:
I'm new here but I'd like to weigh in. That sounds like it went pretty badly.

You tried to hold her hand, she told you no. Then you tried to shove your hand between her legs and she clamped shut. She rejected your hand holding again and then cancelled your dinner date. These are IOD, not ASD.

Move on and meet other girls. The more practice you have the easier it will be for you to read IOIs and IODs.
I'm so glad that you are wrong 8)
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