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My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
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Author:  mark317 [ Wed Mar 25, 2015 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
Hey guys. Recently my hot officemate often approach me with light touch on my forearm and smile. But one year ago when she sensed that I like her, she slightly avoids me but now, she seems like to flirt with me.

Lately, she did these things over past few months:

1. While eating at the pantry, she playfully invited me to play basketball in front of my other hot officemates.
2. Invited me to ride into her car and she gave me a lift nearby the bus station on my way home
3. She invited me to eat her "birthday ice cream" at the pantry with us only alone there (until a chick came by)
4. She was surprised when she knew that I resigned and my last day will be 2 weeks after. She told me to text her when I'm gone.

Lately also, while talking about office-related topics, our fingers touched each other, and I notice that she intentionally put her finger to touch my other finger.

However, I'm confuse of her behavior because:

1. Whenever I text her like "good night" or anything sweet, she avoids me the next day and don't talk or flirt to me. But when I stop that, she slowly going back to flirting with me.
2. Sometimes, she invites me then I refuse, then I invite her then she refuse too.
3. She has a boyfriend (or maybe fiancee?). All employees there knows that they are going to meant to be, including her boss.

I want to make a move on her. Escalate. But I'm afraid that she will resist. That night when her car stopped, I look into her eyes but didn't touch her nor kiss her. And also, she has a boyfriend. (Did I say she has a boyfriend? lol)

I'm so confuse. Please enlighten me. Thanks!
Author:  JSmooth [ Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
There's a lot of women out there like this, they want what they cannot have, the moment they can have it they shut it down and say, "I have a boyfriend." We have a few girls in our office very similar in that regard. Some are just good hearted people who like to be friendly and overly nice, and maybe without knowing it or sometimes intentionally flirt some. I think it is just part of their natural personalities. She has a boyfriend so my advice would be to back off.

As a grown man you can escalate and push - maybe it will happen... You may ruin something special she has with her boyfriend. It can go a few ways afterwards. Are you okay with these?

A. She may decide you are the one and leave her boyfriend.
B. She may want to keep you on the side.
C. She may have instant remorse and go tell her boyfriend. Obviously this could get ugly.
D. You may have a one time fling and never again.
E. On the opposite side of that coin you may escalate and push then she shuts you down. You don't get to keep her as a friend because she wants to avoid you.

You can keep her as a friend secretly hoping one day she'll leave her boyfriend and come to her senses that she liked you all along. HOPE isn't a plan though.

You can keep her as a friend not pushing for anything further and enjoy your friendship.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Fri Mar 27, 2015 1:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
Solid post from JSmooth on this.

While I agree with him and the approach he's suggesting (choose what you want)... I think there could be a little bit of "seeing what you want to see" happening with you and this girl.

A lot of the stuff you've detailed here as possible IOIs seem really platonic to me - but that's just me and I don't know you two.

If you're interested, escalate... Simple as that - but as JSmooth outlined: Beware of the consequences if she's attached.
Author:  JSmooth [ Fri Mar 27, 2015 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
Quote:
A lot of the stuff you've detailed here as possible IOIs seem really platonic to me - but that's just me and I don't know you two.
This really hit the nail on the head. It just seems to platonic to call it a strong IOI but as Charles said you are there and we are not. We don't know in what context it happened we just know what you wrote.
Author:  Jasahi [ Sat Mar 28, 2015 2:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
Hard to add anything to what said JSmooth and CharlesFinley, which I totally agree with!

One thing though... if she has a boyfriend, you wanna avoid sending "sweet" good night texts :shock: !!! In the worst case scenario the boyfriend is there looking over her shoulder when she gets your message and that may seriously ruin her day. Even if it has not happened yet, she can legitimately fear it will eventually happen. In her situation such a message becomes intrusive and you are crossing the line my friend! You put her in a delicate position and I totally understand she backed off the next day, like saying "no more of this shit!"

Imagine yourself in her situation.. .would you like to get text messages from a girl you have only lightly flirted with while in the bed with your official girlfriend?

On top of that sending this kind of message to someone that is not your gf yet sounds like an AFC's stuff to me, but that is just my personal opinion...

If you have a chance, you have to work it out when the window is open, when it is your turn to game her... Not when she may be lying on the bed with her bf! If she is interested in you, she will send you signals when it is time to play...
Author:  mark317 [ Tue May 05, 2015 5:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My Hot Chick officemate's buying signals? or not at all?
Thanks Charles, Jasahi and J Smooth for your advices. I forgot to mention that before we part, she says she don't have my new number yet, but I didn't give to her yet.

I'm no longer in the office because I resigned, and I'm thinking about inviting her for some snacks (she like snacks so much). I thought that many times but I hesitate.

Now that I read your advices, I think I'm not gonna text her or call her and just move on.

What do you think pals?

Thanks a bunch!
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