PUA Forum :: Need a voice or voices of reason here

So I met this girl. Very smart, funny and highly introverted. I lined up a date a week after meeting her. Coffee date goes well and we go on a second date. In my mind it goes well. We ate sushi then I escalated with kino. Lastly I kiss closed very publicly and the third date was almost in the bag. A week later a few hours before the third date she texts me and says she canceling. My personal side thinks shit happens and to re-schedule. My analytical side thinks she's off to other things. I text her and get no response. A few days later I call her and got nothing back.

Again logically I'm done. Looking back even though she laughed at my shit I might have escalated too much. And canceling without a re-schedule to me is a automatic write off.

Being human about it I think I need to give her another shot. She let me escalate. Body language was good. She like me is introverted and is hard to contact.

Either way if it's time to move on fine. But a voice in the back of my head says don't be so dismissive.

Author:	NewGuy1979 [ Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Need a voice or voices of reason here
So I met this girl. Very smart, funny and highly introverted. I lined up a date a week after meeting her. Coffee date goes well and we go on a second date. In my mind it goes well. We ate sushi then I escalated with kino. Lastly I kiss closed very publicly and the third date was almost in the bag. A week later a few hours before the third date she texts me and says she canceling. My personal side thinks shit happens and to re-schedule. My analytical side thinks she's off to other things. I text her and get no response. A few days later I call her and got nothing back. Again logically I'm done. Looking back even though she laughed at my shit I might have escalated too much. And canceling without a re-schedule to me is a automatic write off. Being human about it I think I need to give her another shot. She let me escalate. Body language was good. She like me is introverted and is hard to contact. Either way if it's time to move on fine. But a voice in the back of my head says don't be so dismissive.

Author:	Dragula [ Sun Mar 22, 2015 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Need a voice or voices of reason here
I would just ask her for a honest answer to what happened. It's usually the 'It's not you, it's me' (which means it's you) I have been having a lot of these recently, I have the most epic dates and yet they seem to flake when it comes to the 3rd date (I always push for sex on the same night but a lot have their rules) - It's like my dates go too well or something.

Author:	Rosjachaya [ Mon Mar 23, 2015 3:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Need a voice or voices of reason here
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Author:	NewGuy1979 [ Mon Mar 23, 2015 4:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Need a voice or voices of reason here
Quote: I would just ask her for a honest answer to what happened. It's usually the 'It's not you, it's me' (which means it's you) I have been having a lot of these recently, I have the most epic dates and yet they seem to flake when it comes to the 3rd date (I always push for sex on the same night but a lot have their rules) - It's like my dates go too well or something. You know I'm going to try it. If I really wanted to rationalize it I could assume she's trying to s-test me. If she wants to go out again cool. If not I'll take what I learned and correct it.

Author:	oceanx [ Mon Mar 23, 2015 5:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Need a voice or voices of reason here
Quote: I might have escalated too much. No way to know, on the flipside U may not have escalated enough. Girls can get bored when a guy doesn't try to efficiently close.

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Author:	PatrickAnanda [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Need a voice or voices of reason here
Quote: So I met this girl. Very smart, funny and highly introverted. I lined up a date a week after meeting her. Coffee date goes well and we go on a second date. In my mind it goes well. We ate sushi then I escalated with kino. Lastly I kiss closed very publicly and the third date was almost in the bag. A week later a few hours before the third date she texts me and says she canceling. My personal side thinks shit happens and to re-schedule. My analytical side thinks she's off to other things. I text her and get no response. A few days later I call her and got nothing back. Again logically I'm done. Looking back even though she laughed at my shit I might have escalated too much. And canceling without a re-schedule to me is a automatic write off. Being human about it I think I need to give her another shot. She let me escalate. Body language was good. She like me is introverted and is hard to contact. Either way if it's time to move on fine. But a voice in the back of my head says don't be so dismissive. Good day brother we can sit here and speculate at length but the reality is; we do not know! I want you to sit and think about this okay. You meet a woman on cold approach. You exchange numbers and agree to meet up for a date. Do you realize what that takes from her end? To see you again, she needs; -Zero other plans that day -Nothing unexpected comes up -No friends who call her to go out (cause she will ALWAYS choose them over you) -An adventurous side (it's dangerous to go meet up with a stranger) I can go on for hours about this, but the point is the stars LITERALLY have to align for her to go out with a total stranger. And you got that far, which is awesome! I want to talk about something else... Something many men are guilty of nowadays. Stop taking responsibility Seriously. Why the fk do we do this to ourselves? The fact of the matter is, it's not your job to care. You have no idea what's going on in her head, what's going on in her life. Maybe her dad died. I remember I used to get so upset when a girl I liked didn't call me back... Then I realized I only gave a shit because I let myself. Turn your fkn phone off and use your time to do something meaningful! We all know women are irrational. Obviously there is always something you can improve, but in this case, what if there's just no real reason? Maybe you remind her of her ex and it freaked her out? Maybe she actually liked you so much she knew she'd fall in love with you and backed out early (that happens more than you would think). My point is, stop taking responsibility. I met a girl on vacation once and she was leaving the next day. We had an incredible night together and I really liked her, but I didn't hear from her the next day. I was so upset! I kept asking myself what I did wrong, what do I need to do better next time to merit a goodbye or something? A day later I got an email from her telling me she'll never forget me. I'm not writing this to tell stories, what I'm trying to explain is that you have no idea what effect you have on her. Why take responsibility for the way you make her feel? You feel naive and hurt and alone because you let yourself feel that way. Dust yourself off and smile - what an awesome adventure! With love and respect Mack

Author:	T.R. [ Wed Apr 01, 2015 3:23 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Need a voice or voices of reason here
This happened to me last week, but for a day 2. There's no harm in just texting to see whats up. I would say just seem unaffected by it, but you're just curious to know. If she's done with you, it's done anyways, but it's possible that you going after what you want and texting her again can be seen as attractive.

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