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body language, crossed arms
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Author:  leganeus [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:  body language, crossed arms
it is widely known, that crossed arms are a sign of defensiveness, nervousness and cautiosness

i had a first date with this girl last night, and by default she had her arm crossed throughout the whole night. it wasnt because she was cold.
She seems a bit insecure, her body language also seemed to support it...

what do you guys think of it? If she keeps up the defensive posture should i even try to push anything, or should that be a red flag for increasing comfort first?

we had a great time, tons of kino, didn't k-close. afterwards she texted me that im so cute :P
Author:  Rufless [ Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
well she obviously is into you. Instead of worrying about bad body language, I would watch for when it changes :)... try to see her a few more times.

I normally just call girls out on that... "what r u trying to hide ;)"

but they dont call me ruthless for nothing.
Author:  Mr. Perfect [ Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: body language, crossed arms
Quote:
it is widely known, that crossed arms are a sign of defensiveness, nervousness and cautiosness

i had a first date with this girl last night, and by default she had her arm crossed throughout the whole night. it wasnt because she was cold.
She seems a bit insecure, her body language also seemed to support it...

what do you guys think of it? If she keeps up the defensive posture should i even try to push anything, or should that be a red flag for increasing comfort first?

we had a great time, tons of kino, didn't k-close. afterwards she texted me that im so cute :P

what i would personally do in that situation is point somthing out on her and make her think that your deep in her head..maybe saying something like.."Although beauty is very common and all around..but i have to admit you have beautiful "variable", A person like you should be flaunting your stuff, just don't get a big head about it..hehe"

If its the hands that your talking about, maybe pull her hands towards you and look at them..and say it..theres several ways you can do it.just be original..and important to throw that small "neg" in there right after..

there was more that just came to mind..but i just forgot it lol
Author:  Papi Lindo [ Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:01 am ]
Post subject: 
The subconscious mind is a powerful thing. However, this untapped human resource of the PuA has to be carefully tended to. The subconscious mind is the most powerful when the conscious mind is unaware of its influence.

How does this all play into this scenario?

You are right to assume that her arms being crossed can be a sign of defensiveness, nervousness and cautiousness. As with all things we must evaluate things objectively. Her crossing her arms could just be a habit!

Either way, her subconscious mind feeds of her body language and assails the mind whenever her conscious mind isn't paying attention; this is regardless of how much she may like you.

So what do you do? Make the subconscious mind an ally. As Mystery would put it, make her jump through a very small hoop. Do a compliance test that forces her to uncross her arms. Put your hands out, palm up, in front of you and ask her to do so the same or; have her give you one hand and spin her or;...you get the idea.

While these small hoops not only help you determine what stage you may in and how attracted/comfortable she is with you. They also OPEN her arms. Her subconscious mind, instead of working against you, now works with you by making her far more open, receptive, etc.

Let me know what you think.
Author:  JSmooth [ Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:14 am ]
Post subject: 
I was in sales for many years. I sold cars and taught others how to sell cars. Body Language was something that was taught over and over because its one of the few jobs that require negotiation. We were originally and incorrectly taught that "cross arms" meant you were being defensive. As some of you pointed out it could be their natural comfortable pose, or she could just be cold. Body language is something to be considered when talking to someone but not the only thing to focus on.
Author:  jlizzle [ Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with all of the above, but if she is defensive and nervous it's possible that she feels that way because she fears being rejected.

If so make sure you adequately qualify her.
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