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Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
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Author:  JohanKi [ Sun Nov 03, 2013 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Hello guys

Need you're opinion on this!!

So I'm not a pua but I now the rules and some techniques, they've helped me a lot the past few years!

I met this girl like a month ago in a club and she immediately liked me. But her first relationship just ended like 2 weeks before we met.
She is a hb8, 20y, she doesn't go to school at the moment and she can't drive a car. She told me she is really shy.
I am 25 years old, have a car, have a job and many degrees. We live like an hour drive from each other.

Now I went on a date with here after a few good texts. The first date wasn't that bad, but I had some doughts about this girl (because of her issues). I k-closed her at the end.

The second date followed a week later, she arrived late because she missed her train. It was fun, we kissed again and she didn't resist anything.

A week later we went to see a movie and that was also fine.

Now my issues!
- I always have to start kissing her, she never takes initiative.
- She often starts texting me but the questions/answers I get become shorter and shorter. I am not always cocky and funny to be honest!
- During the dates she doesn't always seem to be that interested. Because I have to keep the conversation going, she also gets a lot of texts during the date and she replies them.
- I found out the past days that she is flirting (on facebook and snapchat) with another (not better looking) guy that lives closer to her. She does go out a lot so she meets a lot of people.
- It's getting to much for me, she gives me a lot of mixed signals during the dates and now that guy! But i started to really like here. So if I keep this up, I'll get nothing, my guts is never wrong.

What should I do?
- I think I have to stay cool, be cocky & funny with my texts and go for the 4th date at my house (I still live with my parents but they're away for a week) to seal the deal?

- Or should I start to ignore here more and wait until she wants my attention?

- Or should I dump her and move on? (That isn't really an option because I actually like here!)

Thx in advance for your reactions!
Author:  GamesSN [ Sun Nov 03, 2013 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Try seal the deal. She might want sex.

If you can't and she flakes just move on. Honestly, it's not worth it. Better said than done but that's just what you have to do.
Author:  JohanKi [ Mon Nov 04, 2013 10:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Yeah I now it's nor worth it but it isn't always that easy.

What do you think about the other guy she has been flirting with? Do you think it's a cry for more attention from guys or something else...
Author:  GamesSN [ Mon Nov 04, 2013 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Dunno. All I know is it's not worth it. I've had a girl like that recently enough and it was a messy affair. Drama follows these women around like herpes.

My advice: Go out, leave your options wide and open, find other women and don't let this chick get to you at all. Don't give it too much attention.
Author:  Wizzay [ Tue Nov 05, 2013 12:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Don't think to much about the other guy, act like she is talking to noone. What you need to keep an eye on is how she behaves around you, it seems she is testing the waters. If you don't like it, try to close at your house and see what happens then, if nothing positive for you, then go ghost and done with her, if she asks why,just say i feel were not on the same line, goodbye. Don't talk about it tho, make moves first. Don't overthink this to much. Also goodjob on listening to your gut, many don't listen and fall later on. Don't get to attached to this women and while doing all this keep your options open.
Author:  JohanKi [ Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Thx for your advice. I told her I am going to give a small party at my house this friday and that se can come to. She didn't really answered to that but yeah i think I didn't pass her tests but no problem. It's just with these girls I always get to attached, the others don't bother me so much...
Author:  HSP [ Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Shy girls are of a different nature, but if she goes out with you from an hour drive away that is not too bad. Also for a shy person to be texting you first that's a big IOI coming from someone who is afraid to talk to people. Lastly don't worry about the snapchats i flirt and snapchat with other girls even when i want to be with one specific person, it doesn't matter dude and you don't know if he was snapchatting her first and she was just kindly trying to reply, don't worry about that, don't think about that and let us know how Saturday went.
Author:  JohanKi [ Sat Nov 09, 2013 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Quote:
Shy girls are of a different nature, but if she goes out with you from an hour drive away that is not too bad. Also for a shy person to be texting you first that's a big IOI coming from someone who is afraid to talk to people. Lastly don't worry about the snapchats i flirt and snapchat with other girls even when i want to be with one specific person, it doesn't matter dude and you don't know if he was snapchatting her first and she was just kindly trying to reply, don't worry about that, don't think about that and let us know how Saturday went.
Yeah friday we didn't meet, didn't push that one through.
But we are going to meet up next week.

I cut back on the texting and snapchatting a bit (don't want to come across as a needy guy) and started texting/ snapchatting with another girl. She's still the one I want but I can't wait until she's over her ex. I also don't care anymore about the other guy(s), because I don't now if she meets up with them.

At the next date I'am going to try to escalate more and make a deeper connection with here. But I'll let you know how that works out :).
Author:  JohanKi [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Ok the date didn't go through. (I saw that one coming :D ) Called her an hour before to tell her that I was ill but she didn't answer and five minutes later she send me a text with she had to go to family or some shit.
She was actually busy with some other dude, I guess her new FB...

After that I didn't really send a lot of text anymore (just one that we needed to talk because i just want to be friends). She was really confused I guess because she ignored it and she told me she was sorry...

I texted again that we needed to talk and told her that it was only possible last sunday. She answered on saturday that she could be there with her sister... I didn't reply to that.

Now I am actually really ill so it isn't possible anymore. I texted her on sunday I think we can't see each other anymore, have a good live and we should stop texting...

She was a bit blown away I guess because she texted me three times and she left some strange messages on here facebook page...

But that was that... It wouldn't be fair if I told her that I am really ill because I don't want a girl just to feel sorry for me!
Author:  HSP [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
You handled that really well, good job.
Are you really ill like dealing with some serious disease or just at the peak of your cold?
Just so you know from her sending all those last texts and the FB statuses it sounded like you still could of had a shot. Hopefully you are satisfied with your results.
Author:  JohanKi [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Problems after date 2/3 with an attention seeker
Yeah it looks like the lyme disease, it's not certain because I have to do a lot of tests first but the symptons point in that direction...

The illness kicked in just right after the second date and because of that I had moodswings and so on..

I can't be happy with the result but if I really have lyme it's actually for the best. I can't deal with the illness and a (stressful?) relationship at the same time.

Thx for the advice by the way!
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