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Desperate about advice!
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Author:  Luke92 [ Thu May 23, 2013 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Desperate about advice!
Hi guys, first post for me on here, need your help.

Long story short (well, as short as possible...): I meet this girl in a club, we look at each other for hours, then she start dancing close to me, I stop her, we go outside for a cigarette, she gives me her number and her name. two days later, I write her to meet the following day. she answer 3 days later, saying "sorry, I had a project, how are you?".
From that day (8 days ago), we kept on chatting everyday, but no more than 3-4 short messages a day.

I was quiet, wrote things like "thinking of you", but never explicit, til sunday. I offered her to meet, she answered (20 hours later, after visualizing in 20 minutes) "sounds great".
we start arranging everything, we agree on meeting yesterday or today, depending on her. yesterday I ask for news, she answers "wait a minute" and disappear. three hours later I write her "going out with friends, wanna see you tomorrow". she answer 3 hours later (1am) "not sure about tomorrow. don't take it the wrong way, but some of my friends are leaving soon".
I stopped answering. (18 hours ago)
(meanwhile, I see her tagged on facebook, drunk, sleeping with her head on a guys shoulder (with other people in the picture, everyone sleeping, everyone drunk). he's not from here and will be away from town shortly (don't know if he's the one leaving on friday). he's as young as her (teenagers...), I'm a bit older.


What should I do? be patient, say "ok don't worry for the weekend, hope to see you next week, let me know when you're free", or change my tone and say "as much as I like you, I'm not going to run back to you. I still want to see you, but I'm not behaving like an idiot"?

I want to go out with her, so comments like "forget her" are not really what I need.

p.s. she extremely beautiful and well aware of it. I've seen her refusing 10 men in 3 hours the night we met.
I guess her behaviour is not driven by small interest but rather by the massive availability of men she has. I'm sure I can stand out from the crowd, if I have the chance to talk to her for three hours. I just hate this texting thing.

p.s. she's from the middle east, but not religious. she has very european manners.

Thanks a lot in advance guys,

Luke92
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Thu May 23, 2013 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
Quote:
Hi guys, first post for me on here, need your help.

Long story short (well, as short as possible...): I meet this girl in a club, we look at each other for hours, then she start dancing close to me, I stop her, we go outside for a cigarette, she gives me her number and her name. two days later, I write her to meet the following day. she answer 3 days later, saying "sorry, I had a project, how are you?".
From that day (8 days ago), we kept on chatting everyday, but no more than 3-4 short messages a day.

I was quiet, wrote things like "thinking of you", but never explicit, til sunday. I offered her to meet, she answered (20 hours later, after visualizing in 20 minutes) "sounds great".
we start arranging everything, we agree on meeting yesterday or today, depending on her. yesterday I ask for news, she answers "wait a minute" and disappear. three hours later I write her "going out with friends, wanna see you tomorrow". she answer 3 hours later (1am) "not sure about tomorrow. don't take it the wrong way, but some of my friends are leaving soon".
I stopped answering. (18 hours ago)
(meanwhile, I see her tagged on facebook, drunk, sleeping with her head on a guys shoulder (with other people in the picture, everyone sleeping, everyone drunk). he's not from here and will be away from town shortly (don't know if he's the one leaving on friday). he's as young as her (teenagers...), I'm a bit older.


What should I do? be patient, say "ok don't worry for the weekend, hope to see you next week, let me know when you're free", or change my tone and say "as much as I like you, I'm not going to run back to you. I still want to see you, but I'm not behaving like an idiot"?

I want to go out with her, so comments like "forget her" are not really what I need.

p.s. she extremely beautiful and well aware of it. I've seen her refusing 10 men in 3 hours the night we met.
I guess her behaviour is not driven by small interest but rather by the massive availability of men she has. I'm sure I can stand out from the crowd, if I have the chance to talk to her for three hours. I just hate this texting thing.

p.s. she's from the middle east, but not religious. she has very european manners.

Thanks a lot in advance guys,

Luke92

You have already come off as way too needy. Go game other women and let her come back to you... otherwise forget about her.
Author:  Luke92 [ Thu May 23, 2013 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
thanks a lot for your reply.

why needy? she came looking for me, after that I wrote her few times, and never soon after her messages.
she said "sounds great" when I asked to see her, my error came after that I suppose?
could you please explain better?
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Thu May 23, 2013 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
Quote:
thanks a lot for your reply.

why needy? she came looking for me, after that I wrote her few times, and never soon after her messages.
she said "sounds great" when I asked to see her, my error came after that I suppose?
could you please explain better?

Well.... I will start with the title of your post lol you used the word "desperate"

Girls have a CRAZY sense of intuition.

Secondly... The way you are telling her "I hope to see you" and "thinking of you"...

Dude... lol you don't even know this girl yet.

Did you qualify her as someone who is worthy of being your girlfriend? (not in your eyes... In hers) Did you make her feel as if she has to win you over? Most likely not... Because you are being way too easy....

You have offered to spend YOUR time with her on several occasions. That isn't attractive to her unless she feels as if she has EARNED your time.

You gave yourself up too quickly is really what it is... Girls love a challenge. You are not a challenge to her anymore. Therefore, she is not attracted to you anymore.


Now go game other women and forget about her :)
Author:  Luke92 [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
I see... I think you're absolutely right. I thought writing warmer things than the usual, boring "how are you" would do good, but as you say, I obtained the opposite effect, that of making her feel needed without a peculiar reason.

Funnily enough, after deciding not to answer her, I got a date with another girl I just went out with, and she caught me with her. We didn't even say hello to each other.

Small satisfactions... :D
Author:  MacDandy [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
1) You're talking too much to this girl. 3-4 messages a day is WAY too much. Slow down tiger! ONE PHONE CALL per week to SCHEDULE A DATE until you reach the 2 month mark is what works. What you're doing is telling this girl you have life outside of her. That's lowers her interest and kills challenge.

2) Whether you realize it or not, this girl blew you off when you made your initial ask. This is why texting is bad. Always use the phone. It's 2013. Nobody is away from their phone more than a few hours. 12 hours+ of no response is a blow off unless she's dying.

3) Asking for the following day opens you up for a giant "no". Make your ask for no less than 4-5 days out. i.e. - Calling on Wednesday means ask for a Monday or Tuesday. Weekends are usually booked. Save those until she presses you for a weekend.

4) If this girl is as hot as you say she is you really need to just cool your jets. Guys must sweat her left and right. The mushy "thinking of you" texts, and the extra fluff should be left alone ESPECIALLY for a girl that's a 9 or a 10.
Back off and I can guarantee you her interest in you will spike.
You made it past the hard part between getting the number and a date. Her interest sounds pretty moderate-low. But, can be raised.


Keep all interaction LIGHT, FUN, and PLAYFUL. "Deep" talk will lower her interest. (i.e. - Talking about being in a relationship and things like that). Just relax dude.

Your situation isn't that bad. Stop being this girl lap dog ...switch places..and make her yours and you'll do fine.
Author:  Luke92 [ Fri May 24, 2013 8:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
Thanks a lot for your detailed reply. I think I'll disappear for a few days (how many?).
What would be a good opener to reappear?
Author:  Luke92 [ Fri May 24, 2013 10:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Desperate about advice!
Oh and by the way, she was the last to write, I've gone silent two days ago.
Last thing she wrote was "don't take it the wrong way, but some friends are leaving friday". How do you interpret that?
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