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1st time asking (Friendzoned)
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Author:  Renx [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:55 am ]
Post subject:  1st time asking (Friendzoned)
This is kind of odd for me and not sure if this is where you post it, but I had a situation just now, and I think this is probably the best place to ask.

Anyway, I realized my main problems with a pickup is:
1. I take too long to phase shift so I miss good moments

2. I can number closed easily but when it comes to the texting the next day, I feel like its a challenge to get a Day 2

3. Alot of times I get IOI's from a target and make good chemistry with her only to be friend-zoned. Just was surpised friend-zoned by a girl that i was doing well with on our day 2 to see a movie, when while driving there she says "Oh my boyfriend might show up is that cool" . He shows up and I get set up as the third wheel.

I Don't know if its something wrong with my shifting as far as building attraction or if its my closings, any suggestions?
Author:  stateofarrest [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 1st time asking (Friendzoned)
Firstly, for that girl to meet up with you, and then say her boyfriend is joining is pretty messed up. You must have really not got the message across, or she just likes all the attention (or maybe she just didnt realise and isnt used to being chatted up - i had one of those, she didn't invite her boyfriend along though!). Mostly, if you meet a girl, ask her for her number they usually get the message.

With texting, I wouldn't text the next day, and I would never text general chit-chat like 'how are you?' or something. You gotta keep it interesting. Text her a funny picture of something you've seen out and about, or something a bit more random - it gives her a reason to text back. If she asks you what are you upto - say its a secret, that kinda stuff (although, have something half decent to say back when eventually you tell her...)

My biggest problem is girls who are busy, wanna keep in touch and do like to text general chit-chat - its so boring!

As far as being friend-zoned is concerned (we've all been there, its why were here) for me, what I used to struggle with is getting myself in situations where its natural to k-close etc - the way I addressed that was by getting more kino in my game - touching them at any given opportunity (not like on the tit or anything, but like on her waist, back, leg, shoulder), also, being a bit more direct about things - find out if they're single, ask them for their number/another date.

Another that might seem obvious is what you talk about - don't talk about her relationships! don't be that shoulder to cry on, or for her to vent at, do talk about sex (what's your favourite position, are you into whips and shit? etc etc), do talk about your previous sexual encounters if they're funny/appropriate to the conversation (this generally has a positive effect - it shows you're indifferent to whether or not you have sex with this current girl, and shows that you're experienced and in-demand, which she will be intrigued by).

Also - don't be too nice, or self-deprecating. Make fun of her (very playfully), and be cocky - better to joke about yourself being amazing, than joke about yourself being lame.
Author:  Renx [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 1st time asking (Friendzoned)
Thank you for the great advice.

As far as getting her number, she gave me her number & told me she was going to break up with her BF that day, through out the next day we were texting back and forth very flirty.

I started to reading threads based on texting game, I usually get mutilple N-Closes on a weekend and wait till 1-2 days later to text them or I text them as I am leaving a little joke or pet name (Ex: Crazy, Dancer).
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 1st time asking (Friendzoned)
Quote:
As far as getting her number, she gave me her number & told me she was going to break up with her BF that day, through out the next day we were texting back and forth very flirty.
LMFAO... That's pretty messed up.
Author:  TheRedBaron [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 1st time asking (Friendzoned)
Quote:

3. Alot of times I get IOI's from a target and make good chemistry with her only to be friend-zoned. Just was surpised friend-zoned by a girl that i was doing well with on our day 2 to see a movie, when while driving there she says "Oh my boyfriend might show up is that cool" . He shows up and I get set up as the third wheel.
If this ever happened to me I would fling her door open and Sparta-kick her out of the car while it was still in motion. That's complete and total bullshit. You're bigger man than I am, I guess.

These days I cringe when I hear words like "phase shift" or A2 or C1. Mystery's model is good as a guideline, but if you follow it too literally it can really mess a guy up. I've seen it happen too often.

There is no such thing as A1 or C2 or w/e. Mystery just took the basic process of a non-platonic male/female interaction and translated it into a model that was simpler to understand and easier to digest.

In answer to your question, it sounds like you're not establishing yourself as a sexual prospect in their eyes. This can easily be remedied with proper kino. On my dates I actually don't flirt that much but kino like a SLUT, i.e. I start out with mild kino (touching their arm, hand, etc.) and ramp it up from there. Has almost never failed me.

In the long term, I suggest ditching this "phase shift model" you seem to have internalized and just learn the basics of social interactions, i.e. body language, what is generally socially expected of you in certain situations, etc. It took me a while but it was 1) absolutely free and 2) immeasurably more valuable than any bootcamp or DVD or e-book out there. IMO, it will also help push you in the direction of being a so-called "natural." Idk if i'm on that path but my confidence has increased a thousandfold.

Also read "The Definitive Book of Body Language." That shit is gold.
Author:  Broseidon55 [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 3:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 1st time asking (Friendzoned)
Quote:
Also read "The Definitive Book of Body Language." That shit is gold.
I agree body language is incredibly important, but I found this book to be really stupid -- I didn't read it all the way, maybe I just didn't get to the good parts. Is there a specific chapter you can point to that you found relevant? The parts I read was bullshit like how to position your feet to give a dominant handshake.
Author:  TheRedBaron [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 1st time asking (Friendzoned)
Quote:
Quote:
Also read "The Definitive Book of Body Language." That shit is gold.
I agree body language is incredibly important, but I found this book to be really stupid -- I didn't read it all the way, maybe I just didn't get to the good parts. Is there a specific chapter you can point to that you found relevant? The parts I read was bullshit like how to position your feet to give a dominant handshake.
I haven't read it in a while so I can't point you to a chapter... all i remember is that it got into stuff like where you're situated around a table subcommunicates a lot (taught me to never sit across from my date but always next to them, worked like a charm). It does get a lot more interesting than feet position and handshakes, though, like posture, facial expressions, where a person is looking and what it means, etc.

Personally I didn't so much use it as a guide for myself as a way to read other people's body language. It's been invaluable in helping pick up on subtle cues i would otherwise have missed, thus fucking myself over.

The saying goes that human communication is 90% non-verbal (or some similar large percentage). Makes sense to get a bit of a crash course in it, especially when dealing with the unstable issue of seduction.
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