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Fun night, kissing at hers, LJBF txt the next day! What now?
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Author:  Arkaidos [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:55 am ]
Post subject:  Fun night, kissing at hers, LJBF txt the next day! What now?
Met a girl on the weekend, hit it off quite well (same interests, sports, very tomboyish) Added her on FB the next day and went out for a drink last night. Dressed well, chatted a bit more at the pub, short walk to the river and we kissed (I initiated). I asked "how do you feel about sleepovers?" in a cheeky way and she responded well, so we headed back to hers. Made out on the couch for a while (turns out she lives with her folks still), and she said "You're gonna hate me, this is fun but I don't think you should spend the night". I played it cool "I'm happy to take this as far as you want". We kissed a bit more, then I drove home. I left her with "This was fun. Next week?" and she responded positively again.

Chatted with her today over FB (I was busy tonight so I wasn't planning on seeing her, but plans fell through) and I dropped this on her.

ME: My night has suddenly freed up. You should come over. Just for a shortwhile, I've got an early start tomorrow (false time constraint)
HER: Dont get me wrong, last night was nice but I think it might be better to just chill as friends. I know it sounds corny but it's sincere.
ME: Apologies if I came on strong, I'm direct and I go for what I want (true, but still trying to sound a little strong/alpha)
HER: It's all good :) No need to apologize.
ME: I still owe you a round. Let me know when I can pay my debt. (leave her with a hook)

And here I am.

Did I play this too nice?

Was there a better way to un-friendzone this?

Where to from here?

I honestly didn't care not having sex last night, because I was sure she was keen for it down the track.

PS: First post so apologies if it is in the wrong place or my terminology is terrible

EDIT: Just got one back from her
HER: You don't really owe me anything, but ok :)
Author:  JakeLewis [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fun night, kissing at hers, LJBF txt the next day! What
She wants something casual not long term, thats why she was cool with your "sleepovers" comment, but then got funny when she thought you might want something more, if she distances herself anymore, just say something in a non-chalant way like "that's cool, I wasn't looking for anything too serious anyway if you just want to hang out as friends".

She might be more receptive once she knows you're not into something serious.

Hope this helps,

Jake
Author:  Arkaidos [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fun night, kissing at hers, LJBF txt the next day! What
Quote:
She wants something casual not long term, thats why she was cool with your "sleepovers" comment, but then got funny when she thought you might want something more, if she distances herself anymore, just say something in a non-chalant way like "that's cool, I wasn't looking for anything too serious anyway if you just want to hang out as friends".
Damn man. I wish I'd thought of that. It's agreeable, and completely clears the air as to my intentions without sounding needy or desperate.
Quote:
You might want to recover from this but i don't think you will be able to since to me it seems you both more or less agreed on being BFFs from now on.
I'd like to recover if possible. She is a cool girl, and the attraction was definitely there.
Quote:
not escalating enough and not doing anything to break her LMR
I'm inherently a "nice guy", so I can really struggle with breaking through the LMR (I know, practice, practice, practice) Any solid ideas on breaking the LMR?

Any advice on future attempts? I figure since she was the last one to message me, that I'd leave it hanging for awhile and see if she does attempt contact again (unlikely, I know). If after the weekend she hasn't, is it worth throwing her one of the Text Lines like "I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M's?" or "I just made you open your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in check =]" just to see what happens?

I appreciate the feedback, brothers.
Author:  Arkaidos [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 3:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Fun night, kissing at hers, LJBF txt the next day! What
Quote:
if she doesnt respond she is made of ice and stone lol
Here's hoping aye?
Quote:
LMR itself is nothing else than the cause of weak or not enough mid-game. Obviously she felt sexually comfortable with you up to a certain extent but not all the way
True words, man. True words. I've gotta solidify my intent earlier on in the night. Looking back when we were at the pub I wasn't making any Kino whatsoever (bad move). Body language was solid, but no touching means no endorphin connection.
Quote:
Always, ALWAYS the female should feel not the least responsible for fucking you, it's gotta be all on the man because she won't feel bad afterwards thus less (or no) LMR.
Good advice, I'll take that on board. Any advice on how to remove responsibility? I've struggled with keeping the blame on me without seeming too pushy or desperate.

I really appreciate the promptness of these replies. You guys are legends.
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