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She flaked... do you think her excuse is passable?
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Author:  deenio [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 6:35 am ]
Post subject:  She flaked... do you think her excuse is passable?
Hey guys,

I've been looking forward to this D2 that we had planned with an HB9 that I've gotten really close to in the past 3 months. We've just hanged out with friends and texted up to this point.

Yesterday, I set up a D2 with her where she proposed the time and date - tomorrow at 4pm. Today just before midnight, I get a text from her saying that she's really sorry and can't make it because she's going to practice for interviews with her friend.

I reply that it's no biggie, and to have fun. She says she's sorry and wants to meet up 'sometime soon'.

No reschedule, nothing.

I know I'm not supposed to think too much into a flake, but it's been a while since I've found someone who I really click with like her :). Ideas?
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked... do you think her excuse is passable?
The first thing to realize is does it even matter if it was a real excuse or just a way to flake on you? I mean, either way she is telling you that something in her life is more important than you. It could be that something important came up which really did supercede the importance of your date. Or it could be that she is timid and had cold feet about the date. Or maybe she decided she likes someone else she's seeing more than you. You will never know the real answer.

Therefore the only course of action worth putting any effort or mental strain into is determining how to get another date with her. You did good by replying in a non-reactionary manner. Now you just need to keep talking to her and try to schedule another date without coming off as needy.
Author:  PatrickAnanda [ Wed Jan 16, 2013 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flaked... do you think her excuse is passable?
Quote:
Hey guys,

I've been looking forward to this D2 that we had planned with an HB9 that I've gotten really close to in the past 3 months. We've just hanged out with friends and texted up to this point.

Yesterday, I set up a D2 with her where she proposed the time and date - tomorrow at 4pm. Today just before midnight, I get a text from her saying that she's really sorry and can't make it because she's going to practice for interviews with her friend.

I reply that it's no biggie, and to have fun. She says she's sorry and wants to meet up 'sometime soon'.

No reschedule, nothing.

I know I'm not supposed to think too much into a flake, but it's been a while since I've found someone who I really click with like her :). Ideas?
You need to have a set of values that you live by.
Im sincerely disappointed in the trends I see on pickup forums nowadays. "What do YOU guys think?" "How should I act?". Do you think the great men of history needed to be told how to act? Or did their gut feelings guide them toward their decisions? Alexander did not stop when his army refused to march. He marched alone and told them to follow him. Cesar did not stop at Alesia and he nearly died. Napoleon was defeated and exiled and then CAME BACK and CHALLENGED his old comrades to shoot their general. Do you think any of these men thought about a 110 pour girl's behaviour as something confusing? Hell no.

What am I saying by all this? Develop your own set of values. Did what this girl do overstep your boundaries? Or is her excuse perfectly logical? There is no right or wrong answer. Some guys allow behaviour like this and get walked all over, while others are too rigid and alienate girls with perfectly valid reasons. Be rational. Do things like this happen? Yes. Is it forgivable? Up to you. Think about it like this: If she was a fat chick, would you allow it to happen? You probably wouldnt be as butthurt, nor would you think about it as much... correct? And if so, you would probably let her make the effort to set up a new date, right?

I can see that you like her, and thats cool man :) We're all into this to find girls we can click with. I love that feeling of meeting a new girl I actually look forward to spending time with. Its sick isnt it? Just dont let those positive feelings cloud your judgment. Keep a clear head and behave the way you would like to behave. Wanna call her? Do so. Wanna see her again? Invite her out. Think she should make the effort to chase? Focus on some work, your passions, your training, and stop checking your phone for a little bit. She'll text, trust me ;)

Love and lots of it
Mack
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