I had this same problem and posted about day 2 flaking earlier. My new strategy is 3-pronged and it's 2/2 for getting a 2nd date (I know 2 is nothing, but I only figured it out like 10 days ago).
Basically, women don't set up a day 2 because although they were attracted enough to you to give the phone number, their attraction is FLEETING, and you didn't build enough comfort with her to guarantee a 2nd date. To get the 2nd date you need to get her thinking about why you're different and why she wants to see you again.
So, I figured I should improve my closing, and get an emotional response through the phone. To accomplish this, I've added 3 things:
1) After I number close, I do a "french goodbye." Basically, I ask her if she knows what a french goodbye is, and tell her it's two kisses on the cheek. After I get my 2 kisses, I pull her in for a hug, say "You're such a sweetheart, I'm totally gonna call you." and then leave. This way, I left on a high and kept her in a good emotional state during my close.
2) I phone her LATER THAT NIGHT. Why wait? You are allowing her to enter you're reality, you're not chasing her, but giving her the option to get to know you. I've called from the cab on my drive home from the bar, just have a 1 minute convo and say bye.
3) Improve your text game. Don't ask to hang out, don't ask how's your day, say shit that's charming/funny. If you met a girl at a bar, say something like "Be honest, did I have better dance moves than ---?" She should respond with a playful haha/lol and you know you're starting strong. After some rapport has been established (she's given me decent responses rather than yes/no's) I say this "I just saw something that totally reminded me of you." She will ask what and I say it's a secret, and that I can only tell her in person. This is when you set up a 2nd date. Don't ask for a Friday/Saturday until you've slept with her or gotten close, otherwise she'll think you're trying to be a BF. Ask for a low pressure, easy hangout, ie. "My buddy bailed on me for pool tonight, you want to come entertain me for an hour?" That way she hasn't committed a full night to you and is more likely to say yes. Plus it's not a traditional "date" and she will feel more at ease. Keep it short and simple and don't worry about being cocky/funny or running routines, you already have attraction, work on comfort/establishing rapport.
As for this chick, move on, I bailed on like 6 of the first 8 numbers I snagged when I started pickup (not long ago, I'm a quick learner) cuz I fucked up this step, and I haven't looked back.
Best of luck out there.
|
