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From heavy Flirt to Friendzone
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Author:  BingoBerry [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:57 am ]
Post subject:  From heavy Flirt to Friendzone
So basically got this chicks number with a bf

We texted before and it was quite platonic towards the end, not sure if any of that has something to do with this.

Text is pretty sexual throughout then outta nowhere friends! BAM!

Me: Hey! I need to ask you something tht hs kept me sleepless n i wnt u 2 b tottally honest with me. It might b awkwrd btween us aftr ths but i hv 2 knw hw u feel. I just need 2 knw n i dnt c ne other way i cld gt ovr ths. it wldnt b fair on me if i dont gt an answr. I wnt u 2 tell me truthfully, no mattr hw harsh it is. I just wnt u r honest opinion. . . Do u like coke or lemonade?

Her:I go both ways . . .
Me:Is that all u go both ways with? when are u free... really want to see ur cute face..
Her:Haha yup thats the only way
Me:its cool i like it both ways aswell..*** dont tease me, lets make a date hun..
Her:Haha i dnt reckon i should
Me:Oh?..i want to hear you orgasm..cant hear it over the phone..
Me:that was abit too far lol..sorry
Her:2 far
Me:Well...ur hot, so ur fault! Why dnt u reckon we meet...dont make cry
Me:Me"
Her: Boys dnt cry
Me:They do if hot girls break their hearts..
Her:Haha damn
Me:Indeed damn! *** dnt make me suffer..i want for us 2 enjoy each other...
Her:Wouldnt enjoyment have 2 be mutual
Me:Ofcourse hun...what makes u think u wouldnt enjoy it?
Her:I just dnt think u and i would
Me:Well u never know unless we try...be adventurous ***..
Her:Well u were nice and funny but i just dnt want anything rite now
Me:Would u change ur mind if i showed u magic trick..
Her:Nope
Me:Dont tell me ur puttin me in the friend zone...lol
Her:i am
Me:Lol awkward
Her:Haha yup
Me:Well u seem cool, i wouldnt mind being ur homie! gna b hard 2 nt think about what we could do alone in a single bed though..
Her:Haha i bet
Me:Ur not goin 2 have the same prob?...we'l endure together
Her:Nope i wnt
Me:Well okay buddy! Ima go hit up some other girls lol..if u wana do something...friendly? Hit me up some time. Cya
Her:ok good luck
Me:Thanks bro!

Even though I dont think I got 1 step forward(Getting better with flirting in texts, sparking emotions, using less smilies while still being funny) Seems I went two steps back!

Feedback would be interesting...
Author:  Quiche [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 12:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
She has a bf? I don't really think text game on a girl with a bf works, since she has time to rationalize it. You'd want to be up close and personal and let her emotions make her decisions, not her rationality. I think you lost the conversation when you apologized for what you said. Beta move imo. Also why do you text like someone with Down syndrome? Everything else is well written.
Author:  stringfellow on sticks [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't mean to be harsh, but a LOT of this text exchange just sounds SO needy & beta on your part! Examples :

"Don't make me suffer...." and "I wouldn't mind being your homie..."

Just my opinion, but it's really weak at times!
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Intentional bad grammar to look cool? Bad move. Also talking about having a broken heart, apologising for the sexual text before she had chance to reply, implying you would cry if she said no, it's all really weak dude.

You need to learn to be a fearless man who makes no apology for being a sexual being and just going for it whatever the cost. Right now you're acting like a needy boy.
Author:  BingoBerry [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the replies, I see alot to improve here
Author:  BingoBerry [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She has a bf? I don't really think text game on a girl with a bf works, since she has time to rationalize it. You'd want to be up close and personal and let her emotions make her decisions, not her rationality. I think you lost the conversation when you apologized for what you said. Beta move imo. Also why do you text like someone with Down syndrome? Everything else is well written.
Ah true, completely dropped the ball after apologizing, Im new to texting! How do you think I should have handled the orgasm comment? If Im being that sexual, that fast isn't it just going to creep her out?
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: From heavy Flirt to Friendzone
Quote:
So basically got this chicks number with a bf

We texted before and it was quite platonic towards the end, not sure if any of that has something to do with this.

Text is pretty sexual throughout then outta nowhere friends! BAM!
she has a boyfriend, so texting her is a bad idea, if you find a girl that is interested in you that has a boyfriend, text messages leave evidence, be considerate of her situation, also be aware when girls are unavailable to you, if she is flaky when she has a boyfriend, forget about her and leave it in her court to be initiator (but lead her to do so, let her know to invite you out/contact you)

next, lets look at your texts here, you say it was sexual but really look at her side of the conversation, there is pretty much no investment at all from her end, all you're getting is a bunch of ''HAHA YEAH'' dead ended statements that just react to what you are doing with absolutely no indication of investment on her end

lets look at her texts
Quote:
Her:I go both ways . . .
(innuendo within a social frame)
Her:Haha yup thats the only way
Her:Haha i dnt reckon i should
Her:2 far
Her: Boys dnt cry
Her:Haha damn
Her:Wouldnt enjoyment have 2 be mutual
Her:I just dnt think u and i would
Her:Well u were nice and funny but i just dnt want anything rite now
Her:Nope
Her:i am
Her:Haha yup
Her:Haha i bet
Her:Nope i wnt
Her:ok good luck
what's the common theme of this conversation from her end?
haha nope, haha yeah and answering your open ended questions with as little as possible to kill your threads
Quote:
Even though I dont think I got 1 step forward(Getting better with flirting in texts, sparking emotions, using less smilies while still being funny) Seems I went two steps back!
well, it's tricky cause she is not all that interested judging by the texts, but since she had a boyfriend you should have called her instead of texting, just think if she starts flirting over text and her bf sees that, bad news for her, and chances are she's well aware of this

it's probably better if you meet more girls and don't waste your time on girls that have boyfriends
Author:  BingoBerry [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 8:39 am ]
Post subject: 
I see, very good advice, thanks mate

Yea I got the feeling she wasn't even half as invested as I was, she made me carry the conversation quite often there.

Im just happy I managed to hold the text conversation for that long and she replied after I got the number.

But I think it's better that I texted that sexual, maybe she wasn't sexual but now we can move on and like you said and I can meet other girls
Author:  BingoBerry [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:06 am ]
Post subject: 
I cant really tell about her interest though, I wrote about her in my journal and when we met she was fully going to leave her bf for me

Heres the journal entry
Quote:
Chick at the train station handing out flyers at rush hour
Me:Hmm are you a Britney?
Her: Hmm no??
Me: Cuz my mate has this chick called Britney, shes real cute, blonde and has a peircing on her nose
Her: hahaaha that was really smooth
Me:huh?
Her: You said I was cute indirectly!
Me: aaahhh fuck you found my deception, good work!! High five!!
Her: *Laughing her ass off*
Me: So does this *Britney* happen to be single?
Her: Haha ooh! ummm well..
Me:Lets use code like from the begining :P
Her: ooohhh uh I well...Its..complicated
Me: You have a bf?
her: Noo I was using code haha
Me:ooh right, right!*Gives another high five* So I gues the real question there is, does Britney love him?
her: hahaha uhhmm well I used to, before...it got complicated


So this pickup was really interesting, this girl was going to drop her bf to come date me. Intense!! So I ended up being nice about it(told her Im not looking for anything serious, you don't have to do that) She wanted to fully engage me in courting by the looks of it :/ She didn't want to cheat. So I got her number...said we'd make friends..at the worst

Also the sexual part during the convo was pretty fun

Me:Do you like small penises?
Her: Hahaha cant exatly ask that in the first meeting
Me: Would it be better if I said big penises?
Her: She did that oooooh my god face(playfully though :])
Me: whoa you have a big mouth
Her: teasingly hits me* Oh my god, I do not haha
Me:Well even if its not that big it'l fit mine pretty easy
Her: Maybe I'd just leave you hanging ooohhh
Me: oooohhhh you got me gooood! is the code..I see what you did there!!
And even further the first texting convo leading up to this one. This is when I was first starting out, so this convo may have killed all attraction

how-to-get-past-texting-vt145941.html?highlight=

So all in all, it was pretty cut and dry from the start really, she wanted a boyfriend, I didn't want a relationship. I pursued mostly to improve my texts because I was getting so many flakes at the time
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 9:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I cant really tell about her interest though, I wrote about her in my journal and when we met she was fully going to leave her bf for me

Heres the journal entry
just because a girl lets you know that she logistically is available, does not mean she is convinced she is going to sleep with you, she is just open to the idea

you have to pay more attention to what girls are doing, and how the are acting towards you based on your behavior, this girl is not investing in overt sexual threads, and this overt verbal sexuality you are displaying to get your frame accross as sexual is good, but you might be comming on too strong for this particular girl and not paying attention to her social cues (signs of dis-interest), but she still seems to like how you are non reactive about it, she doesn't want to take the responsibility to conform to an overt sexual frame with you it appears (she does not want to look that easy most likely)

so, what would be a solution to this?, stop putting that pressure on her, keep the threads more social while trying to maintain a more covert subtle sexual frame (flirt and touch more then overtly hitting on her) until she is more comfortable, just invite her out giving her a way to rationalize that she isn't going to meet up to have sex and cheat on her boyfriend, then logistically get her in a situation where sex can happen, then make that happen so she can rationalize that this wasn't her intention and it just happened

if she won't logistically put herself in that situation (she flakes you consistently), then you are wasting your time on her
Author:  BingoBerry [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Ahh feels like fog in my head cleared after reading that, thank you so much

Your completely right, she doesn't respond sexually. I need to look more at the reponses and be more socially aware I usually just dont give a fuck lol

Jesus I wish I had your brain, your skill. Im but a student...I will get better though. Past this hurdle thanks to you mate. I'l report to tell you how it ends up

PS: advice on how to get her out on a friendly basis would be cool
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
PS: advice on how to get her out on a friendly basis would be cool
just invite her out and if she asks if it's just as friends just be like, ''ok'' then flirt with her and escalate anyways, just be less admiment about overtly justifying the real reason why she is giving you compliance, give her plausible deniablility as a justification if you can, be a little more vague so that she can justify her actions without being responsible

and if she flakes and won't offer the logistics, just move on and keep practising, it's no big deal, you know what to try for the next time
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