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Preventing buyers remorse
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Author:  Paradoxx69 [ Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:32 am ]
Post subject:  Preventing buyers remorse
Tonight I went out with a small group. In this group there was one girl I haven't met before, HB8. I really liked HB8 and at the end of the night I K-closed her.

Now, I would like to see her again, but I expect there will be buyers remorse. Not because I moved to fast, but because
1. she is in a 5-year relationship and living together*
2. she was slightly drunk.

* she is very unhappy in the relationship and feels 'stuck' because of financial dependance, so I don't feel guilty if I break them up

What/when do you guys suggest I text her? Or call her?
Author:  Conker [ Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Well if you suspect she may feel vulnerable and used, then you have to build comfort.

It's a shame you didn't end the night with a talk about when to meet next, because it's always going to be awkward to call up and organise another meeting.

It would be helpful to know how the night ended.

Anyway you should text the next morning or midday, asking how she's recovering from the night before. Or call and ask the same thing, but in the afternoon/evening, when she's likely to be more lucid.

If you're not asking to hang out in the same message, and just asking how she's feeling, it means you actually just want to know how she's feeling - you actually care.

Don't even bring up the kiss. If you're building comfort, you have to talk like everything is cool. If you suggest you're worried about how the kiss made her feel, she will feel "uncomfortable" - and that's the opposite of what you want.

Calling is generally 100 times better than texting. You can be very calm and cool in your tone of voice and what you choose to talk about, which you can do to build comfort.

When you do contact her, mention something that personalises it. Sounds like you were talking about a LOT if she told you she's in a 5 year relationship and unhappy. Don't bring that up directly, cause that's depressing, bring up something fun you talked about.

You have to be very casual and cool, the kiss was something that just happened in the heat of the moment.
Author:  pumpington [ Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:46 am ]
Post subject: 
few ideas on this one

-try to sleep with her before having to get to the point to deal with BR, she will be much more invested if you do (if you know it is logistically impossible for you to pull it off, go easy on the escalation and sexual framing *unless it is congruent for you*)

-look up asd and how to lower it

-make a strong connection with her before parting ways, the more investment from her end the better
Author:  Paradoxx69 [ Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanx guys!

Alright, so a bit more backstory. We met at a friend's friend's house. All of us where having a good time and everybody but me was drinking (I don't drink). I inserted myself als the fun alpha-male and negged her a bit.
Then we went out and she kept getting drawn to me. A bit of kino here and there and I threw her IOI's and IOD's.
When in the club we danced together, but when she was getting tipsy she was also flirting with some other guys.
Afterworths the four of us went to my place where we chilled out on our huge sofa and got a but intimate. The funniest coincidence happened! She had already been in my house before, because when I bought it three years ago, she and her bf were also trying to buy the same house! I beat her to the punch by a nose, so now I was living in the house she wanted to live in three years ago! She now lives two streets down in a slightly less dreamy house. That gave me a load of material to bust her balls ;)
Everybody was sleeping at my place, except for her. She wanted to, but she couldn't, because she HAD to go back home to her boring-ass bf.
When I waved her out at the door we had a very short but very spicy K-close and I got her #.

Ok, so now, if I call her, there is the chance she won't pick uo. That incident alone is DLV. Is it better to try calling and if it fails, then texting. Or just text in the first place?


When I text her, which one do you think is better of these two?

Hey HB8! It was nice meeting you yesterday. Are you all fresh and fruitfull again? ;) Cheers, the guy in your dreamhouse

or

Hey HB8! It was nice meeting you yesterday. However, I need to ask you something that has kept me sleepless and I want you to be totally honest with me. It might be awkward between us after this but I have to know how you feel. I have kept this in my mind for a while now but I think it's finally time I'll be straight up and just confront you.... I hope this doesn't ruin the relationship we already have. I just need to know and I don't see any other way I could get over this. It wouldn't be fair on me if I don't get an answer. I want you to tell me truthfully, no matter how harsh it is. I just want your honest opinion... Do you like coke or lemonade?
( Credits to Breaking Bad: get-her-heart-racing-from-this-simple-t ... 25304.html )

The first one is a lot more light than the second one. But the first one could be ignored because of Buyers Remorse. The second one is pretty much unignorable ;)
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