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Oh dear, messed up a perfect opportunity on 3rd day.
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Author:  Xeroque [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Oh dear, messed up a perfect opportunity on 3rd day.
Hey mates,

I need your help how to handle this situation. I'm new here in this forum and this is actually first time I'm asking advice. If you want to know my background, I've introduced myself in "Introduction" -section, under topic "Introducing Myself". Unfortunately I was not able to post direct link. I hope I'm posting this whole mess in the right place.

Little background:

Thing is, last summer I was in a relationship with this girl for a few months, and we had a really strong feelings towards each other. We both went to student exchange to different countries, and one month after that we broke up. Sadly, I think I've had oneitis since then.

We both came back to our home country in the beginning of this year. Of course we decided to meet, (about one month ago) and I made sure I would make a hell of an impression on her, like I did. Since then we started texting and saw each other casually every now and then, with a little vibe going on.

Oh, and she is muslim but really "western like", if you know what I mean. Still very different and "harder" to be with than, say finnish girls. I know someone will tell me "don't get into that mess", but that's not the point. She's also very beautiful and great personality, but body is.. decent. Though I'm sure that she would get almost any guy she wants.

Lately:

About two weeks ago I got her to my place for the first time. I was building attraction and just hanging around and tried to "read" her, what are her feelings towards me and so on. Of course that should have been obvious that there is something going on since she came to my place. I noticed that things were a bit tense, I felt we both kept screening what's going on. I decided not to advance, just building an attraction. Situation became much more comfortable at the end of the evening. But like I said, not really advanced anywhere, slight kino every now and then.

Texting almost daily for a few days, I got her to my place again. Building attraction and escalating and I could see it was on. I was doing good overall, but wasn't a man enough to kiss her. I helped her with her iPhone, and asked "what's my reward." She said" what do you want", I said "I wanna kiss." Then she said "why would you want that", and that thing somehow faded. No kiss that evening, after she left I sent her message "I still can't believe you didn't give me that reward." She answered something along lines you could have taken it.

Today:

Texting again for a few days every now and then, and I got her my place today, for the third time, and I had already planned I would kiss her. Even if I say myself, I was really confident and played it really well in the beginning. I was escalating and kinoing the shit out of her, I read her body language and all the signs positive signs you could imagine were there. Yet - probably because oneitis or the fact that I've made this way big of a deal for myself that I succeed - I found it extremely hard to kiss her. I know she was expecting that a couple of times.

I had done the "I have a thing to give her, and she should remind me later" -thing earlier. A bit before we were about to leave, I said I would give the gift to her, she should close here eyes , give hands, and I was then supposed to kiss her. She didn't buy it and didn't close her eyes, and I said ok, you won't get any present, and I went back to sit. She kept asking, I rose again and said close here eyes but still she said she won't. I said ok, not getting the present. She kept asking "ok ok, give me the present", but I didn't buy that anymore. That killed the mood a bit, and we started to leave. Before we left I made AFC mistake, went in front of here, wrapped my hands around her and asked "if she was ready to go." And then we left. While waiting the train we were speaking about going back to my place and kidding, she said something along lines "you had your chances if you would have wanted to do something", not with serious face, but I know she meant it. and I know it's true. "This was the last time I came here" with even less a serious face than earlier. That's most likely not true if I do at least something right from now on and considering that I know her, I'm quite sure she was mostly kidding.

We left together with train, were we talked normally like we usually do. I sat opposite of her and kept touching her thights gently, she didn't mind. We arrived to the destination station and she said to come down with her to her car (she works there, we went trough staff doors to elevator and down). In the elevator I asked she sure she don't want the gift, she said "what is it". I said "we were through with this, you won't get it unless you close your eyes so forget it then". We went to her car and she drove me to my gym. During that time she said that I should try to drive the car next time and when I left she said see you again soon.

If we look at the plus sides here, god damn if after that I didn't have my best workout session ever in a gym. I was lifting weights furiously and with anger, I was that mad and disappointed in myself.

I would like to hear what you think of this whole mess? How should I proceed?
Author:  Xeroque [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 9:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
Update:

After I had come home from gym, around 3 hours since she had dropped me to gym, she called me. She said that she's going to eat with his friend (who I know from the last summer) and that I should come with. Her friend insisted as well. I was not expecting a call from her today, if nothing else, just for the reason that she said earlier that she'd go into bar with her friends tonight. Apparently she changed her plans.

I went there since I needed to eat something quickly since I had came from gym. I also thought that if everything goes well, I could repair some of the damage I did earlier. I though that at the end of the night I would have said to her friend that "I hope you don't mind if I borrow her for a awhile", then when isolated told her that I think we both know something went wrong earlier (or something similar) and then kissed her.

Turned out that the whole thing was a huge shit-test, at least the way I see it. When I got there they were talking and came out that the girl who was with me earlier today had just asked the number from the bartender and apparently got it. That point it started to ring a bell to me that its obvious what's happening, I didn't care and just kept my good posture and attitude I had, mostly talking with her friend, the girl didn't really talk to me that much, mostly to her friend.

We ate and chatted, the friend asked me questions about my student exchange, such as "how was it?", "were there any girls", "is there some girl you remember well" and that kind of stuff. We were about to leave, when I and the friend went outside, and the girl went to bathroom. We were talking outside after a while we looked that the girl was talking with the bartender. Her friend told me to "look at that" and said "I think this must be shitty to you" or something along those lines. I told that "I had checked the bartender earlier, and he is not the kind of quy she (girl) would be seeing." The conversation continued and the girl came out soon. Her friend said that "shame on you" and the girl was just like "what, I can ask him number if I want" or something similar. I did not say a word and acted like I couldn't care less. Actually I really did not care since the way I see it, the whole thing was done to humiliate me or a try to make me jealous. We all talked outside a couple of minutes and then I left my way and they left together other way.

What are you thoughts of this? How should I proceed? Text him tomorrow that she really doesn't have to try to make me jealous or something else? Or not to text her at all for a while? I was also wondering maybe she's jealous since I have been spending time with some of my good-looking female friends and talked about them quite a lot, now that I start remembering. Anyways, what I want is to get her to my apartment once more.

Oh, and to add: I sent message to the girl's friend (yes, I have her number, I met her last summer for the first time) once I got home. I was just being completely sincere since it really was nice to see her for a long time, I didn't think about if this would somehow affect to this whole mess. I sent her "Thanks for the dinner, it was nice to catch up and see for a long time." She responded: "It sure was. We should go get a coffee, I promise". I did not respond. Remember, these are just rough translations.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this and how to proceed.
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 3:15 am ]
Post subject: 
This is stupid. You screwed up and you're trying to pretend you didn't.

THIS IS THE ONLY REAL MISTAKE YOU MADE: " Of course that should have been obvious that there is something going on since she came to my place. I noticed that things were a bit tense, I felt we both kept screening what's going on. I decided not to advance, just building an attraction."

You know what the correct course of action is when things seem tense? YOU KISS HER.

ALL OF YOUR OTHER DRAMA IS YOU CLINGING TO THIS GIRL WHEN ITS ALREADY OVER. MOVE ON.

I hope this is enough to convince you. I am right, don't try to argue. Move on from this girl and don't make that same mistake again.
Author:  Xeroque [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
This is stupid. You screwed up and you're trying to pretend you didn't.

THIS IS THE ONLY REAL MISTAKE YOU MADE: " Of course that should have been obvious that there is something going on since she came to my place. I noticed that things were a bit tense, I felt we both kept screening what's going on. I decided not to advance, just building an attraction."

You know what the correct course of action is when things seem tense? YOU KISS HER.

ALL OF YOUR OTHER DRAMA IS YOU CLINGING TO THIS GIRL WHEN ITS ALREADY OVER. MOVE ON.

I hope this is enough to convince you. I am right, don't try to argue. Move on from this girl and don't make that same mistake again.
Thanks for reading that huge post and giving your insight, I appreciate it. To be honest not the kind of advice I was hoping for at first, but I really get your point. And I really learned the hard way that I need to go for the kiss way earlier and do what needs to be done. Not going to screw up like that again.

I'm not pretending I didn't screw it up, I know I did. I could have done things way better earlier like you said, but yesterday was really bad. Like I said earlier, this whole thing probably means way too much for me than it should and that's way everything seems so hard with this girl.
Author:  smokeit [ Thu Mar 15, 2012 4:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

You know what the correct course of action is when things seem tense? YOU KISS HER.

ALL OF YOUR OTHER DRAMA IS YOU CLINGING TO THIS GIRL WHEN ITS ALREADY OVER. MOVE ON.
Haha I just joined this forum, slip N slide your on point. :D
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Haha I just joined this forum, slip N slide your on point. :D
Hahaha bro in other post you called me "homeboy," your name is "smokeit" and your sig is Stay High.

I like you already.
Author:  smokeit [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Haha I just joined this forum, slip N slide your on point. :D
Hahaha bro in other post you called me "homeboy," your name is "smokeit" and your sig is Stay High.

I like you already.
8)
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