PUA Forum :: HELP...recovering from a mistake/freaking her out

I met a gorgeous French HB 9 last Fri. night. Sent her a text Sun. night and got a positive response. Sent her another text Wed. night and got another very positive response (smily faces and all).

Then on Thurs. night I sent her this text whcih got no response: "1 more day til the weekend! Want to get a drink? Saturday or next Tues. would be good for me. How is your schedule looking?" (All I can figure is that I asked her for a date too early w/out enough comfort-buildling...maybe freaking her out a bit?)

I was thinking of sending a message on Sun. or Mon. like this negging her: "A lot of people tell me the French are snobs, but you've seemed like a nice girl so far. How was your weekend...pounding the rum and cokes again?"

How should I proceed from here? Any help is appreciated!

Thanks for the advice! I'd agree that the comment about French culture is probably over the top and a$$hole cocky instead of being cute and playful. That was my ego talking and would have been a bad move! Funny how sometimes we are more sensitive to initial rejection than even we feel or think...

My gut now tells me I should wait about a week and then send a casual text talking about or asking questions about work since we have similar jobs and that is where we had a lot in common and I built rapport in our 1st interaction. I am thinking a good idea might be to send a text asking if she knows anything about this other company in town we are considering going into business w/ that does the same thing as her company?

I'm def. open if anyone has other ideas?

You're right it is a bad idea to ask her what she thinks about a competing company because in a way that is "approval seeking". You make a good point about adding the neg of talking about her "drinking like a frat boy".

I will lay back for a week or two to see if she initiates contact. If I don't hear from her, then I am going to send her another message eventually. I have nothing to lose here. If she doesn't respond to that message, then she hasn't responded to 2 message instead of 1 message...then maybe you call it quits. However, I always think it is jumping ship to early to quit after leaving just 1 message that isn't returned...all isn't always lost at that point, but it is time to lay back, change the approach, and work on getting power back.

Author:	sunhawk [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:21 am ]
Post subject:	HELP...recovering from a mistake/freaking her out
I met a gorgeous French HB 9 last Fri. night. Sent her a text Sun. night and got a positive response. Sent her another text Wed. night and got another very positive response (smily faces and all). Then on Thurs. night I sent her this text whcih got no response: "1 more day til the weekend! Want to get a drink? Saturday or next Tues. would be good for me. How is your schedule looking?" (All I can figure is that I asked her for a date too early w/out enough comfort-buildling...maybe freaking her out a bit?) I was thinking of sending a message on Sun. or Mon. like this negging her: "A lot of people tell me the French are snobs, but you've seemed like a nice girl so far. How was your weekend...pounding the rum and cokes again?" How should I proceed from here? Any help is appreciated!

Author:	Entourages [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: HELP...recovering from a mistake/freaking her out
Quote: I met a gorgeous French HB 9 last Fri. night. Sent her a text Sun. night and got a positive response. Sent her another text Wed. night and got another very positive response (smily faces and all). Then on Thurs. night I sent her this text whcih got no response: "1 more day til the weekend! Want to get a drink? Saturday or next Tues. would be good for me. How is your schedule looking?" (All I can figure is that I asked her for a date too early w/out enough comfort-buildling...maybe freaking her out a bit?) I was thinking of sending a message on Sun. or Mon. like this negging her: "A lot of people tell me the French are snobs, but you've seemed like a nice girl so far. How was your weekend...pounding the rum and cokes again?" How should I proceed from here? Any help is appreciated! Don't insult French Heritage. Also the way it comes off isn't cutesy cocky. I think you need to kind of move on but let her text you. Kind of like a push/pull. She now knows you want to go out with her, so you lowered your self in that sense. So don't make a move, it will only make it worse, just wait and if she does something try again. Pretty much move on sorry mate. For the future I think you should try something like this. "Hey, a couple of my friends are meeting up at Bar ___ or Club _____ this saturday, maybe you can bring some friends and dance/have a beer with us" Something along those lines, that way you aren't forcing her to make an immediate reply, (I dont remember who said this on this site but he had a good point) by asking her the way you did you are putting her on the spot, and she either will say yes or need to make up an excuse (a lie) she probably doesn't want to so she just ignored the text. I wish I helped a bit, and sorry about that. Sometimes good things really do happen to those who wait. If anything keep her on the side, but get other #'s and new friends. Why stop your life for one person.

Author:	sunhawk [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:04 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the advice! I'd agree that the comment about French culture is probably over the top and a$$hole cocky instead of being cute and playful. That was my ego talking and would have been a bad move! Funny how sometimes we are more sensitive to initial rejection than even we feel or think... My gut now tells me I should wait about a week and then send a casual text talking about or asking questions about work since we have similar jobs and that is where we had a lot in common and I built rapport in our 1st interaction. I am thinking a good idea might be to send a text asking if she knows anything about this other company in town we are considering going into business w/ that does the same thing as her company? I'm def. open if anyone has other ideas?

Author:	Entourages [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Thanks for the advice! I'd agree that the comment about French culture is probably over the top and a$$hole cocky instead of being cute and playful. That was my ego talking and would have been a bad move! Funny how sometimes we are more sensitive to initial rejection than even we feel or think... My gut now tells me I should wait about a week and then send a casual text talking about or asking questions about work since we have similar jobs and that is where we had a lot in common and I built rapport in our 1st interaction. I am thinking a good idea might be to send a text asking if she knows anything about this other company in town we are considering going into business w/ that does the same thing as her company? I'm def. open if anyone has other ideas? I see where you are trying to go with. To ask her a question that shows no sexual interest, but lets look at it in her perspective. Let say your name is Jon. Hey jon, can you tell me if I should blah blah blah... Me: Umm I dont give a shit, but yea sure what ever. 1. You are lessening you value indirectly by asking for her approval. That is what you are doing, I want to do this but I am not sure, you tell me what to do. It might not sound like that but can be interpreted as that. 2. The idea of mentioning something you talked about is genius and key. But maybe something cuter or sexier, like lets say she drank like a frat kid, somehow bring that up, she'll chuckle a bit, and then you just built some attraction. Like I said before, and will always agree (I even fall victim for this one-itis stuff) If she wants to message you she will 100% do it. If you want to message a girl you will do it, hence this conversation. I know men are supposed to make first response, and you might think you need to, but you already did by texting her. She knows your intentions already.

Author:	sunhawk [ Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:45 am ]
Post subject:
You're right it is a bad idea to ask her what she thinks about a competing company because in a way that is "approval seeking". You make a good point about adding the neg of talking about her "drinking like a frat boy". I will lay back for a week or two to see if she initiates contact. If I don't hear from her, then I am going to send her another message eventually. I have nothing to lose here. If she doesn't respond to that message, then she hasn't responded to 2 message instead of 1 message...then maybe you call it quits. However, I always think it is jumping ship to early to quit after leaving just 1 message that isn't returned...all isn't always lost at that point, but it is time to lay back, change the approach, and work on getting power back.

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Author:	Entourages [ Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You're right it is a bad idea to ask her what she thinks about a competing company because in a way that is "approval seeking". You make a good point about adding the neg of talking about her "drinking like a frat boy". I will lay back for a week or two to see if she initiates contact. If I don't hear from her, then I am going to send her another message eventually. I have nothing to lose here. If she doesn't respond to that message, then she hasn't responded to 2 message instead of 1 message...then maybe you call it quits. However, I always think it is jumping ship to early to quit after leaving just 1 message that isn't returned...all isn't always lost at that point, but it is time to lay back, change the approach, and work on getting power back. There we go I like your attitude already, remember she has a life too, she could have honestly been busy, she will get back to you if she wants to that is how it works. So enjoy your week meet some new people and have a good time.

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