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Girl Keeps Arranging dates with me but always cancels
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Author:  mystery21c [ Wed Oct 26, 2011 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl Keeps Arranging dates with me but always cancels
What is going on here?
I've been doing PUA for about 2 years now and never had this happen to me, I met this girls on Match, gorgeous, blond hair blue eyes, down to earth, intelligent and we exchanged about 8 or 9 emails before meeting up, we went for a few drinks at a really trendy bar on our first date and it was a lot of fun, this was about 4 weeks ago, after the first date she texted me first thing the next morning saying she had a great time, usually I leave it a day before txting a girl, so I'll take this a very keen from her.

Since then she txt me & asked if I wanted to see a movie, so I called her later that day to see if she'd like to go see Crazy Stupid Love, chick flick with good reviews and Steve Buchemi, great actor, she cancelled, next... coffee in the afternoon by the beach, cancelled, then again for coffee on the wken, this time I pre-emted it thinking she'll probably cancel anyway so I made up some excuse that my friend is having a big birthday bash in the city so I'll be away all wkend, we had a few txt's inbetween arranging dates to gain rapport,she EVEN STARTED USING KISSES IN HER TXT'S but she asked me out again and I arranged drinks in a quality cocktail bar for tonight Wednesday, her excuse, her meeting next week at work has come forward to monday so she's got loads of work to do, that's at least 4 days away!
If she was interested she'd make the effort, I AM playing it cool with her, definately not being a wuss, but any advise on things to say or moves I can make to build attraction would be greatly appeaciated.
Author:  Tenacityy [ Thu Oct 27, 2011 12:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like you played some pretty solid game all the way through man.
Dont think you did anything wrong, iv run into girls like this also before and so have some of my guy friends in the past. Some girls for some only god knows reason, show intrest but always flake. she just sounds like one of those girls, i would just forget about her, if shese showing that much intrest but wont give you the time of day, then it dosent really matter what her reasons are or how she feels, if she wont even try to spend time with you.

Cant win them all my friend, we can only stride to win most of the women we sarge ;)
Author:  KevanSnow [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Give her time and dont rush anything. Dont jump to conclusions, for all you know she might really need those 4 days to work. Keep going like you have, but maybe you should take a break with arranging dates.
Author:  PUA Kenny [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Reason for such flaking comes downto 2 things(mainly):

1.Lacc of comfort.She isn't comfortable around you(for whatever reason).Thus you have to build more comfort-building.

2.She has a secret boyfriend.

I don't know whether you knowing or not,but most girls have boyfriends(lol).

Or at least some guy she's trying to get with so she's playing it safe innorder to not fucc it up with that guy she's running after.

She's not gonna tell you she has a BF,so it's up to you to read the signs.
Author:  dlightmen [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
If she's getting more flirty, like sending kisses and canceling still... It could be a sign she's just playing games.
Author:  Allahz Apostle [ Sat Oct 29, 2011 7:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Confront her on this bad behavior..

Call her up and tell her that you two should really see each other again. Try to emphasize the fact that it'z been so long, but do this subtlely. If she agrees to this idea, which is highly probably, then ask her when she'll be free.

Set up some sort of date, and when she agrees, then ask her: "Do you actually mean it this time, or should I have a plan C?"
Author:  mystery21c [ Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Building Comfort
Thanks for the great reply's guys, it's been a big help.
There is that possibility she might have a boyfriend, she is cute, a bit shy, so I'm sure she's been approached, let's just hope he'll try and take it really fast with her and make all the mistakes :D lol

I'm happy to take things slow with this girl, (although I don't have oneitus) and building comfort over the next few weeks before arranging another date would be a good way to go, but, the one thing that scares me is: Building Comfort might put me in the Friends Zone.
Any suggestions about how this might be avoided? how often to txt, ways of building attraction e.t.c
Thanks again
Author:  mystery21c [ Mon Oct 31, 2011 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  got a reply
I've got an update:
Last week when she cancelled on me a few hours before the date, I wrote back on 26th Oct:
You are a bad girl;-)
It's been crazy busy at work this week,
but I could've done with a drink tonight
You can buy me dinner sometime and make
it up to me ;-) Good Luck on monday x

She just texted me 31st Oct
Hey you. I'm really sorry about last week -
I didn't intend to mess you around. I'd love to
see you sometime, dinner or drinkies, on me of course.
Meeting did go really really well today!! xx
----

Now 2 kisses, ok, what do I do???????
I was planning on going back to her and saying maybe it's best we don't meet up for a while as I would like to get to know you better. But now she's come back with "I'd love to see you sometime" so I'm thinking shall I just arrange the date????
Some immediate advise would be great
Thanks PUA's
Author:  SmoothOp [ Mon Oct 31, 2011 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey man,

Comfort is important but she has already gone out with you, so I don't think that's what you need to build. And that last message you wrote to her makes you seem like a pussy that is happy to waste your time being canceled on.

When a girl is attracted to you enough, she will make time. I call for a minor freeze out. Call and text half of what you normally would, then when she misses you she will make plans. At this point make it clear you are busy that week and make it sound like you meeting up with her will take effort. This should do the trick. Also I would say, build up some more attraction over the phone, maybe she is going a little stale on you.
Author:  juice man [ Mon Oct 31, 2011 10:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
hey man from what im seeing is that she is prob seeing sumone and just keeping you around... she has flaked out on you once again. and you already confronted her already so hear is what I WOULD DO.

call her up keep up the texting and calling set up a date. when she says yes call her the day of or day before the date and cancel on her. see how she likes that.

few reasons why i say this
1) maybe she does have a bf or has another guy in the works and your 2nd in line
2) maybe she is just keeping up her confidence
3) she is playing games witht you just having fun
4) no comfort

honestly in my opinion. call her up set up a date and cancel on her see how she feels being number 2. I am a frim believer in that there is a limited time frame in comfort zone, if it took u 3 or 4 flakes perhapas you should drop it. in my eyes you seem pretty afc for the last date and being all nice but thats ok man.. faliure is success if you learn from it.. give her a taste of her own medeicine. I hope the very best for you. things will turn out great with or with out her.. CHEERS! 8)
Author:  natural joe [ Mon Oct 31, 2011 11:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Have you replied yet??

There's some pretty good thoughts in here. What stands out to me is SmoothOp's two sentences about her already having comfort (8 or 9 e-mails in addition to the date and texting) and you seeming like a pussy who's happy to be cancelled on. Harsh language, yeah -- but the point is good. It's now three cancellations, right? And five days for the last reply? The odds of that happening //and her being really into you// are pretty slim.

So I'd say be a little less cool now. At this point I'd sort of put the ball in her court, which gives you a little (maybe temporary) closure, so you can get on with your life and be pleasantly surprised if she comes back to you. Maybe something like this:

"Okay babe. But this is taking kind of a long time now, so how about you write me when things get back to normal and we'll see how it goes." No smiley and no question mark at the end!!
Author:  mystery21c [ Tue Nov 01, 2011 1:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some great replies guys, that's been a big help.

I'd like to address SmootOp's comment" you seem like a pussy that is happy to waste your time being canceled on", might be a bit harsh considering I did say, " You are a bad girl, followed by, you can buy me dinner sometime to make it up to me". But I understand your point, I will take it as constructive.

Juice Man & Natural Joe, great replies, I think you're right, playing it even cooler now is the way forward, she might have a bf, I don't think so, but you never know with cute chicks, and as she has flaked quite often she could be slipping away, agreed.
She sent me that text 31st Oct at 4pm offering me free dinner and drinks, I just replied to her at 1pm 1st Nov with:

Glad to hear your meeting went well, dinner
could be fun, it's a manic week for me, always 1st week
of the month. We'll try and catch up next week.

No kisses from me, no smiles and no exclamations.
I didn't want to come off as sulking or anything, so just kept it cool.
We'll see what happends.
Thanks again guys.
Author:  natural joe [ Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just curious -- why didn't you say yes to the dinner and drinks?
Author:  mystery21c [ Fri Nov 04, 2011 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good question natural joe, why did I say no to her free dinner and drinks offer?

Well, with regards to my text above, my plan was, seem disinterested when a cute girl has cancelled, so I'm not just another guy happy to be cancelled on, and then I'll call her a few days later and try and build some rapport before arranging another date. So hopefully they'll be enough comfort and rapport for her to show up :)

I called her last night after my txt to her 1st Nov, and left a voice mail, "Hi Sarah, hope you're well, call me when you get this message".

She txted me this morning 4th Nov:

Hey you. Sorry I missed your call last night.
I'm good thanks, are you? How's the new car working out?
We should try and meet up soon! When's good
for you? Have a great day x

I've tried to arrange meeting her on Sunday for a few drinks.
Anyone think I should call or txt her Saturday to make sure she doesn't cancel?
Thanks guys
Author:  juice man [ Sat Nov 05, 2011 12:57 am ]
Post subject: 
yo honestly i think this is a lost cause... from what i see does anybody else agree? i mean maybe a case of oneitis perhaps? idk man.. im going thru some oneitis and tonite im gonna pullt the move and ill deff find ouf for sure..
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