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anxiety opening i need help bad lol
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=88864		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  keggstand [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 5:38 am ]
Post subject:  anxiety opening i need help bad lol
okay i was a bar tonight, it was packed so many hot girls. I found i couldnt even do this at all without alchohal in me so i had a few beers and still was a little afraid of opening.. im an outgoing guy and this makes me think wtf why cant i just go up to a hot girl.. they mean nothing, its wierd. for example this really hot girl from my highschool came up and said with her friend, were keeping an eye on for you, and i replied with, "its alright we dont need it, were a little out of your league anyways" she put a bitch smirk on and walked away... who the hell does she think she is, fuck her so i started talking to two girls who opened me and threw negs at both just working on it for a little i would neg the one and then after that i would neg the other, its april fools today and she did a little finger trick were you point and hit the nose. she got me lol, so i told her in her ear "your really cute" she said thank you, and then i said "now was that an april fool, or was i being forrreal" lol she was giving me a few iois touching me and kind of flirting, there was still too, but then i shut her out and would start talking to the other one.

so the whole night there were so many oppertunities and i could not for my life go up and tlak to them... i need help with this, people i thought i would be good, but im shit :oops: ahahah so boys from the forum who used to be in the boat i am in, help me!!! ahahah peaceee
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok, so ur kinda all over the place. It seems like you don't know when to neg and don't know when to show interest. Like, you blew off those 2 girls who opened you cuz you negged them. Then when you said "now was that an april fool, or was i being forrreal," you were doing pretty good with that girl and she was giving you IOIs, but then you blew HER off too. There is no need to neg girls or blow them off when theyr showing you interest. You definitely seem like one of the guys who ended up with worse game after reading a bunch of pick-up material cuz you're negging too much and showing too much disinterest.
So, most importantly: don't neg girls or show active disinterest when they are showing you interest. That is majorly MAJORLY important. Negging a girl or "shutting her out" is attraction style stuff (both of which is HARD attraction style stuff and is NOT really neccessary for most normal girls). And attraction is one of the most useless phases in pick-up. You only wanna be doing attraction style stuff long enough until u can start qualifying and moving on the other shit. So if a girl shows u interst by opening you, there is no need to show disinterest. Absolutely none. Those girls were not bitches for walking away from you. They were absolutely correct for walking away from you. They were being nice and you weren't. I would have walked away too. Do you feel what I'm sayin? I'm not saying it to be an asshole, I'm saying it to make a point about the misuse of negs. It's all good though dude, I know you had the best of intentions. I made those same exact mistakes when I was first starting out. Hopefully I can prevent you from making them again.


As far as approach anxiety goes:
Don't drink. There is nothing wrong with drinking when you go out, but if you're relying on it to talk to girls, then you should just not drink for a little while, until you get a little more comfortable doing approaches. Then, you can drink all you want.
Alcohol is funny, because in my opinion, it doesn't really help that much with approach anxiety unless you're like drunk off your ass to the point where you dont even know what you're doing. There have been plenty of times where i was pretty damn drunk, but I was still scared to talk to girls and there have been plenty of times when i was dead sober but I was approaching like it was nothing.
The real solution comes down to managing your state. Feeling good. I know it can be easier said than done, but you're gonna have to just make sure you're laughing and having fun with your friends and that you start small (i.e. Making small talk with the bouncer, or doing some warm up approaches on the street by just walking up to a few girls, complimenting them and walking away or high fiving people as you walk down the street or walk into the bar).

Make sense?
Author:  0uch [ Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:21 am ]
Post subject: 
^^^ he pretty much nailed it.

Also, From reading what you wrote, I think your insecure. You had a hot girl from your high school come up and was ready to introduce you to her friends and you blew her off.

Also, I have to add, do not neg anymore until your game improves and you can better calibrate. They are gonna do more harm then good.
Author:  keggstand [ Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
doood thank you, i read this went out last night and got a k close, i nailed everything perfect, and! she had a boyfriend. i didnt drink and just pretty much said screw everything lol thanks alot guys!
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Sun Apr 03, 2011 6:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Awesome dude! I'm happy for you, good job
Author:  DERAIL [ Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  pool
The nore you jump in a pool the better it feels.



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