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| How To Respond To "uh... why?" https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=88069 |
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| Author: | Massa [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | How To Respond To "uh... why?" |
Hey men. I recently approached a 4-set, all girls, and I did a Style opener: okay ladies, I need a female opinion on something. Me and my friends were having a discussion and we can't come up with a solution. Now I have to go back soon, so I'll make it quick: buddy's got a girlfriend, been dating 3 months, he's still friends with his ex. What do you think of that?" They looked at each other, giggled, and one of the obstacles asked "uh... why?" I forget my recovery, but it was a bad one. So what's the proper response to this type of awkward question? Thanks PUAs! |
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| Author: | cspears01 [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
neg neg neg... then snip and stack |
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| Author: | Neuken [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ok several things: 1. I would be more specific with your opener, because you're giving them too many open ends to come back with...in fact, if you think about it, "uh...why?" is a perfect response because you don't give a real reason why you need an answer to the question. I would change it to asking, "Buddy's got a gf, been daing 3 months, he's still friends with his ex, and it makes her really jealous. How would you like/what do you think of your bf's or past bf's being friends w/ their exes while u were dating? 2. So if they still respond w/ something like "uh...why" or "why are you asking us" then its just a typical bitch shield, which you should embrace as an opportunity to break through and impress both her and her friends. 3. Go to Youtube and search Kezia Bitch Shields, and watch the 3 videos about 20 times...trust me she gives great advice. Here are my notes on the videos: a lot of the words/examples are quotes - credit to Kezia. Bitch Shields HB’s are hit on constantly and over time they develop routine ways to either get men to leave (by being nasty, saying they have bf’s, etc.) or by attempting to lower your value by making you their pawn (buy me a drink, interrupting you, ignoring your statements etc.). This does not mean that these girls are mean, on the contrary, they can be just as shy and outgoing as everyone else. Once you are no longer an AFC, breaking through the Bitch Shield must be automatic. Reasons for the Bitch Shields: 1.She’s had a bad day: You come along and you’re going to get it just because you’re there. However, you can change her state if successful 2.Girls and mosquitos: Girls learn they can’t be sociable with guys because there’s a chance that he will hang around all night and be obnoxious - thus shields are developed as protection 3.Alpha women: Need to weed out the weak guys and put out shit tests and barriers to test and see if they guy is strong enough to take what she’s giving. If the guy can get past the two-minute challenge there’s a chance that he can be a relationship possibility. Shield Types: Defense Bitch Shield > near to impossible to break. “Go away, go away, go away” etc. Attack Bitch Shield > humiliating you, putting you down, making you jump through hoops but breakable. Disarming the Shield Controlling the Frame – if a girl interrupts you while you’re talking, don’t talk over her or get into a shouting match, just be patient, look at her, wait for her to finish, and validate yourself. “That’s a good question; let’s talk about that in a minute.” You have to control the direction the conversation is going and the topic. Don’t let her embarrass or humiliate you, proving that you are not good enough to talk to her. Move the conversation on to comfort as soon as possible. Be aware of why you are talking to her after she has challenged you – you want to destroy her Bitch Shields. Destroying Bitch Shield Steps 1. Detach yourself – do not react emotionally to her challenges. Look at her as if she is your kid sister; she can’t possibly hurt you. Don’t get aggressive or scared – either way you’ve lost if you do. 2. Validate, Validate, Validate – approve of what she’s saying and doing because it takes away her power. “I love fiery women…who wants the weak ones anyway?”, or “That’s a really good question actually…you guys have this essence about you…” 3. Spot Her Patterns – she’s calling the shots, controlling the frame, and you need to break the rhythm. Create a hairline shift in the pattern early on. A mixture of validation, personal amusement and the unexpected. Examples: Wrong : PUA: Hi, I want a female opinion; do you think I should get a tattoo? HB: Why are you asking me? PUA: Well because I just needed a female opinion and you look like a really nice girl. HB: Why do I look like a nice girl? If you allow her to stay in her patterns you will never crack the shield. Right: PUA: Hi, want a female opinion; do you think I should get a tattoo? HB: Why are you asking me? PUA: You know what, that’s a good question…you have this weird energy about you that says you’re a tattoo expert – or – you’re right, I really didn’t want to ask you about tattoos; I noticed your shoes and wanted to know where you got them because my sister would really like them. 4. Be Aware – she can always slip back into that Bitch Shield. Sidestep her tests and neg some but not too much – if the shields are down then too much negging is easy. Don’t ever say to a bitchy girl: 1. Having a bad day are we? 2. Are you always this friendly? Knowing When the Shield is Down If she smiles, she can’t go back to the Bitch Shield – if she smiles or laughs she can’t go back. You can even bring it to her attention and say, “ Great I’m glad we have that over with,” and you can go on to introducing yourself, getting her name and creating rapport. Don’t become complacent and be aware of her giving you shit tests. If she starts, say to her, “Oh come on, you’re not starting that again are you? We don’t have time to go back to that again…I can’t be bothered with that again.” |
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| Author: | Neuken [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
So to answer your question: in my AFC opinion (anyone plz correct me if wrong) I would say: That's a good question (validate), my buddy just told me about these problems he's having and I knew that if I asked you I'd get four insightful opinions...so what do you say...friends with the ex bad or acceptable. If they say something like "why are you asking and not him" say "Hold on, we'll get to that in a second"(Turn to her friends) Man is she always this needy for information? (neg). Ask again. Then you can explain later "I'm still friends with one of my exes and want a female opinion since it's relevant to me as well." Thread and shift. Gotta break the Q&A rhythm and get back to your frame. Hope all that helps, those Kezia vids really helped me get my head around the shields. |
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| Author: | sheybutter [ Sat Apr 09, 2011 6:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Neuken is blowing me away with that post up there. Kudos. |
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| Author: | cspears01 [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 3:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
ok first of all a woman being a bitch is a responce they build up to weed out the AFC's from the alpha males... a girl being a bitch is unacceptable behavor and saying something like "thats a good question" just validates their bitchiness and makes it ok but if you look at her friend and say "how do you roll with her" then say "i swear you can dress her but cant take her anywhere" then snip and stack before she reacts to your neg because you dont care and pay attention to everyone else except for your target, thats kinda like a thump on the nose and it tells her that behavor is unaceptable... a alpha male doesnt take a girls shit cause he has plenty more women to go to and they are lucky he comes up and talks to them, and thats the energy and personallity you have to put off to the set because it makes your survival value higher which is a girls most primal attraction switch... also she could have came off as a bitch if you opened the set giving them too much value such as turning to them when you opened instead of over your shoulder... or not throwing in a false time constraint so she being a bitch is a way to get guys of low value to leave... she could have also came off as a bitch because your energy was too low and you wasnt contributing to the group but bringing them down instead... and if they cut off your routine dont go bakc to it neg then snip and stack |
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| Author: | Neuken [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I disagree completely. As a PUA you are supposed to be different from everyone else. How many other guys will actually validate the bitch shield? Think about it from the woman's point of view. Bitch shields, as you stated and I stated above, are necessary to weed out AFCs. Therefore they are a vital part of a HB's repertoire and are completely necessary. Therefore, just negging isn't necessarily good enough. By validation you rip the tablecloth away from underneath her. Her only point of power is being bitchy to you, and by validation you not only continue to control the frame and take away her source of power, but take the high, super-alpha male road. You show them you aren't phased, you show them that you understand why they need the bitch shields to stave off AFCs, and you show them why you are that much superior to all the other guys and have such a high value. Then, if need be, and she pesters w/ the bitch shield, you can pound the negs and shut her up (as, once again, I already said). The great thing about validation is that the last thing they expect you to do is reward them for bitchy behaviour. |
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| Author: | cspears01 [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
who knows... all i know is everytime ive done this in field it hasnt failed me yet |
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