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Critique/Critisize my newb MySpace opener
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Author:  SirBishop [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:46 am ]
Post subject:  Critique/Critisize my newb MySpace opener
A lot of girls have pics with a guy/guy's in it on their myspace albums. And we all know a lot of guys (like 90+ %) post shit like: "Hey sexy, holla at me"...or "Damn girl wussup?" or whatever variation.


YOU: I think I went to high school with that guy. Is his name steve?
HER: no
YOU: crazy, he looks just like this guy named Steven Edwards that went to my high school. how was your halloween btw?

by adding btw (by the way) I felt it game it an even more natural sound and :D
Author:  slyder2412 [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
cliche imo
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique/Critisize my newb MySpace opener
Quote:
A lot of girls have pics with a guy/guy's in it on their myspace albums. And we all know a lot of guys (like 90+ %) post shit like: "Hey sexy, holla at me"...or "Damn girl wussup?" or whatever variation.


YOU: I think I went to high school with that guy. Is his name steve?
HER: no
YOU: crazy, he looks just like this guy named Steven Edwards that went to my high school. how was your halloween btw?

by adding btw (by the way) I felt it game it an even more natural sound and :D
Was that actual text used? If so she didn't give you much to work with. Maybe one angle would be to accuse her dating loads of men.A bit of role reversal.
Author:  SirBishop [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique/Critisize my newb MySpace opener
Quote:
Quote:
A lot of girls have pics with a guy/guy's in it on their myspace albums. And we all know a lot of guys (like 90+ %) post shit like: "Hey sexy, holla at me"...or "Damn girl wussup?" or whatever variation.


YOU: I think I went to high school with that guy. Is his name steve?
HER: no
YOU: crazy, he looks just like this guy named Steven Edwards that went to my high school. how was your halloween btw?

by adding btw (by the way) I felt it game it an even more natural sound and :D
Was that actual text used? If so she didn't give you much to work with. Maybe one angle would be to accuse her dating loads of men.A bit of role reversal.
no. i was just imagining how the convo might go (even though it never really goes how I expect). Thanks for your suggestion. Sounds really good. Im gonna put it to use.
Author:  SirBishop [ Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
cliche imo
as in way too common?
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique/Critisize my newb MySpace opener
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
A lot of girls have pics with a guy/guy's in it on their myspace albums. And we all know a lot of guys (like 90+ %) post shit like: "Hey sexy, holla at me"...or "Damn girl wussup?" or whatever variation.


YOU: I think I went to high school with that guy. Is his name steve?
HER: no
YOU: crazy, he looks just like this guy named Steven Edwards that went to my high school. how was your halloween btw?

by adding btw (by the way) I felt it game it an even more natural sound and :D
Was that actual text used? If so she didn't give you much to work with. Maybe one angle would be to accuse her dating loads of men.A bit of role reversal.
no. i was just imagining how the convo might go (even though it never really goes how I expect). Thanks for your suggestion. Sounds really good. Im gonna put it to use.
Ok. good to rehearse things. The question you would ask would be closed. It maybe better to use an open question to generate more feedback.

Perhaps you could modify it and say "Why are you with Steve? One of the many men in your love life I see" Maybe a bit too creepy, too accusatory. Don't know. The only way is to try it.
Author:  SirBishop [ Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique/Critisize my newb MySpace opener
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Was that actual text used? If so she didn't give you much to work with. Maybe one angle would be to accuse her dating loads of men.A bit of role reversal.
no. i was just imagining how the convo might go (even though it never really goes how I expect). Thanks for your suggestion. Sounds really good. Im gonna put it to use.
Ok. good to rehearse things. The question you would ask would be closed. It maybe better to use an open question to generate more feedback.

Perhaps you could modify it and say "Why are you with Steve? One of the many men in your love life I see" Maybe a bit too creepy, too accusatory. Don't know. The only way is to try it.
im glad i found this forum to run shit by people. thx man. you're right, an open ended question is a better choice.
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