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Awkward silence, Awkward science?
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Author:  Ivan X [ Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:32 am ]
Post subject:  Awkward silence, Awkward science?

I would like to get other people opinions on *pauses*. Today I went out to practice day game and I decided to warm up with asking for the time. Something I learned from Oliver Turners book. I asked a lot of people for the time, then with one girl I ask, she told me, I answered thank you. Then after about a moment of awkward silence I said, “so how was your day today” the flood gates opened and she told me about how she had a job interview that didn’t go well…. The interaction lasted for about 10 mins while we walked in the same direction.

I know from past experience that saying, “Quick question do you have the time? Thanks How is your day going? Gets a vastly difference response with out a pause.

Has anyone else found this particular type of pausing to have some effect?

Author:  JR* [ Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:18 am ]
Post subject: 

Was there eye contact in the pause?

Pauses are also used in NLP to increase the suggestibility of the other person. It's also possible she was just having a shit day and wanted to talk about it :)

Anyways, kudos, sounds like an awesome day :)

Author:  Ivan X [ Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:29 am ]
Post subject: 

No eye contact, we were standing facing the same direction at the crossing lights. When I did ask her how her day was. It was with more of a friendly chatter. Assuming familiarity and in a tone of voice that I would ask, any one of my friends.

I assume, I don't know just assume that in a way it shows that I was not intending to talk to her to begin with rather I was just asking for the time, and then after I was just being polite.

Perhaps she was having a shit day. I don't mind really, seem to have made her day that little bit better. :D

Author:  JR* [ Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

It is awesome when stuff like that happens :) Respect.

Assuming familiarity, as long as your frame was dominant could have had the effect of her feeling comfortable around you, which would lead to that conversation. So maybe it's a lot more of what's going on with your body language and tonality that lead to it :)

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