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What questions to ask to build rapport?
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Author:  tiemnao [ Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:  What questions to ask to build rapport?
I'm still at very early stages of trying to pick up girls. I occasionally get a girl (usually of the 5/10 kind, rarely anything better) really interested and @-close, what I screw up later anyway. I'm not really complaining, I'm fresh out of a nasty breakup with my very long term 8/10 girlfriend that I got by pure chance, so I'm starting pretty much from zero again.

Even at this early stage I'm already facing pretty serious challenge - how do I build rapport and attraction with a girl?

What I found so far is:
  • * close ended questions and asking about facts or boring subjects (where do you live, work etc.) fail to build anything, i completely stopped asking that, but girls sometimes ask me about it, I'm not really sure what to reply in such case, this seems to destroy whatever was happening
    * open ended questions about preferences or quirky things (like favourite pizza topping or whatever absurd thing I come up with) lead to a nice conversation, but very little attraction going
    * talking about myself (truthfully or making things up) or about anything girl doesn't care about much at best leads straight to the friendzone
    * open ended personal questions or questions about feelings sometimes work really really well. Unfortunately most of the time when I ask "How does (a thing she mentioned liking) makes you feel" I get "I don't know". "Do you have any small secret you'd like to share" too often gets "Oh, I don't have any secrets" (it actually works semi-decently when asked much later), and so on. It's hit and miss, sometimes it works very well, often it doesn't at all.
I try to use nice tone of voice and body language to work around lack of content, but it can only get me that far, especially since I'm not too great at it.

That's what I got after two weeks of trying, I think I learned a lot more by trying than I did by reading all the pickup books and watching all pickup videos I could find, but help is very much appreciated.
So pickup gurus, please tell me how do I do it right? Hopefully my next question will be about something more fascinating that failing in the first 15 minutes.
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What questions to ask to build rapport?
Quote:
Even at this early stage I'm already facing pretty serious challenge - how do I build rapport and attraction with a girl?
Chicks like the "unknown", "mystery", "astrology shit".

- Unknown & Mystery = don't give them direct, boring answers.
- Astrology = palm reading, zodiac signs, what the stars mean.

This is just a basic idea so that you can search out some games and stuff.
Quote:
* close ended questions and asking about facts or boring subjects (where do you live, work etc.) fail to build anything, i completely stopped asking that, but girls sometimes ask me about it, I'm not really sure what to reply in such case, this seems to destroy whatever was happening
If she asks what you do, just tell her that you are a pro jump roper,
a pro tree planter, or something that is unbelievable in her eyes...
Quote:
* open ended questions about preferences or quirky things (like favourite pizza topping or whatever absurd thing I come up with) lead to a nice conversation, but very little attraction going
Whenever she says something that you also like... hug her and say, "sweet, same here." or say, "nice, high five." Or anything that allows you
to touch (kino) her... just don't linger too long on the touch or make it seem
weird.

If you hug her, tell her, "your hair smells nice.."
Quote:
* talking about myself (truthfully or making things up) or about anything girl doesn't care about much at best leads straight to the friendzone
Don't talk about yourself. People are more interested in... THEMSELVES...
talk about her and her interests.
Quote:
* open ended personal questions or questions about feelings sometimes work really really well. Unfortunately most of the time when I ask "How does (a thing she mentioned liking) makes you feel" I get "I don't know".
Tell her, "I'm sure it makes you feel something... happy, sad, energetic,
adventurous, etc. etc."

Or... "you're boring... let's see if there are more interesting people here.."
(look around totally ignoring her and say...)
"There is someone..."
(look back at her and say...)
"Well, do you have anything interesting to say..."

If she don't. Get up and walk over to another person and start talking to
them... Of course, you can always NOT go talk to this other person and
instead change the subject with the girl that is UNRESPONSIVE to you.
Quote:
"Do you have any small secret you'd like to share" too often gets "Oh, I don't have any secrets" (it actually works semi-decently when asked much later), and so on. It's hit and miss, sometimes it works very well, often it doesn't at all.
You could also just ask, "tell me one thing that only your friends know
about you.."

Then, you can play off of that...

"Really. That is strange. Why would do that?"
"Why would you say that..." (act shocked)
"Why would you tell me that..."
"What is wrong with you..." (joking)

Also, make sure that you do KINO at the appropriate times.

When you meet her for the first time, or have some comfort, next time
you see her, go up and hug her and say, "how have you been..."

Don't hug her like you will never see her again... hug her like you would
hug your mom or sister...

Oh yeah, here's something else that you might want to do...

When you hug her... pick her up and spin her around saying, "nice to see
you again babe..." and kiss her on the cheek before you put her back down...

She will feel energetic because you are full of energy and shown your dominant
side by picking her up and spinning her... she was in your total control, she
had no control over nothing at that point when she was in your "strong" arms...

I try to use nice tone of voice and body language to work around lack of content, but it can only get me that far, especially since I'm not too great at it.

Well, guess I'll end this here... gave you a few things to work with for now.
Author:  Marvel [ Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:42 am ]
Post subject: 
I just came up with a cool opener I'm going to use after reading Lep's reply....."your hair smells nice"....."What?" or "how can you smell my hair" or shock....then "yeah, I can smell your nice hair all the way over there." hehee....I have to try this one out.....

well....I guess I should also try and give a few pointers too while I'm typing....hmmmm.....

...you can keep showing her interesting routines (show one, she thinks it's interesting, show a few and she associates you with being interesting)....

....... or give her a leading question into your own DHV story....ask leading question, then, "oh yeah, well.....this one time i ....(dadaddadad)....was flying in from New York and (daddadad)....
Author:  Dr. Rett [ Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:10 am ]
Post subject:  High Fives!!!
hey LEPRECHAUN i have to comment on your kino with the high five. I have always used this kino since high school and never really realized it tell i have been breaking down the PUA formalitys. Its easy to pull off and playfull, i mean comeone who can turn down a high five....
Author:  AceofSpades07 [ Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:00 am ]
Post subject: 
the biggest advice i can offer is to never just interragate a girl by asking them question after question and waiting for them to answer. Have a conversation not an interrigation.
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