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afraid
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Author:  galliet [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  afraid
i;'m afraid to open a set..
any where i am. any situation.
when i am with friends and i get introduced i aint got that problem. my game is good from there on..
but just to chicken to open.
Author:  JSmooth [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: afraid
Quote:
i;'m afraid to open a set..
any where i am. any situation.
when i am with friends and i get introduced i aint got that problem. my game is good from there on..
but just to chicken to open.
There is a lot of good information in this section on "Approach Anxiety" if you search for it. There are even several methods posted for helping you get use to it and dealing with it. I think that all of us at some point, and on some level have experienced the "fear" you are referring to.

It's not natural to just approach strangers and talk to them. It's a behavour that can be learned though. The more you do it, the more "numb" those feelings become.

You can start with simple tasks like asking people on the street for the time, or directions. Some people suggest randomly calling people in the phone book asking for the movie listings, and then when they say you have the wrong number asking them for a movie recommendation because you are going on a date.

These smaller tasks help you get use to those feelings before actually approaching and doing pickup.
Author:  Amb11 [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
AA is a problem a lot of people have man, nothing to be down about.

I can say from experience, I garuntee you I had more AA than you do right now. I used to be SO scared to open any set, even if it was just a bunch of guys. I was just so shy and worried about what others would htink of me that I'd stand in the same spot constantly running in my mind doubt and questions of what they would think of me.

Honestly, the best advice I can give is to tell yourself "Who gives a shit what they think about you?" "Who are they to judge you?" You can't worry about others will think; have a fun personality and a great attitude, and people will adopt that and realize that you're probably a pretty cool guy.
Author:  PUAdave [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
What helps me (outside a few beers) is a constant track I have playing in my head of me telling myself that I am the badest Mother F-er in the bar & girls want to be with me, & why & don't care about what others think. I know that probably sounds stupid, but you start believing it at some point. You make your own reality.

When you walk in just say something to a few random people to get warmed up. After that try a set, if you open the 1st few sets of the night it gets easier, & usually you have some success to fuel you even more & your confidence to feed off of. If you get blown out you just have to think well that wasn't so bad, & if that's the worst it of it, I can do that.

If you are still stuck, which I still get at some point, go "3 second rule...1...2...3" and start walking. Once you comit like that if you have practiced your openers auto pilote flips on.
Author:  PUAdave [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Another thing that helps me, if a girl is paticularly nasty, or a dude comes over & AMOG which I have encountered rarely but a couple times. I have some protection responses I picked up just to disarm them or to hit back. So I try to be prepared, & I can leave feeling like they didn't get the best of me. Just makes me feel prepared.
Author:  Intension [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Momentum is really important. Acting on the spur of the moment can make you feel a little like a madman but it's that same gutsiness which is attractive. The more you sit around, the less likely you are to approach people.
It's what they call your "limiting mind."
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