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Good opener?
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Author:  J_J_Okocha [ Sun Feb 08, 2009 4:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Good opener?
I was at a house party and I introduced myself to this girl and I asked her "Who are u?"

she says her name

I was like "I dont mean your name. I mean who are u as a person?"

she says "I dont know."

then she tries to ask me, but Im like "I asked u first."

and I say "U dont know who u are?"

then she says something like "I dont really know myself. Thats a deep question." :roll:

basically the conversation sort of ends there. was this a bad opener or was this girl just scared to express herself or a dumbass? i actually ended up talking to this girl later cause she kept looking at me, seems she was trying to figure herself out. I stayed away from the deep questions the second time around. :lol:
Author:  .Cufflink. [ Sun Feb 08, 2009 8:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well at a house party things are slightly different. Portions of Comfort are already taken care of, if your from the same social circle then trust is there but you still have to connect with the girl. Qualification may even be taken care of to a certain extent, because it is social custom to hook up with friends of friends. And your Social Value is often taken care of just as long as you are one of the more alpha and charasmatic guys at the party.

IME you dont really need to use opinion openers since she's hooked in talking to you. It's a party among friends. She has to talk to someone, and if you're a cool enough guy it will probably be you. At the same time, you don't want to go in and try too hard for rapport either. Like you don't want to go in there boring as fuck.

You presented too big of a hoop for her to jump through in your opener. If she doesnt know anything about you why would she qualify herself to you. Theres nothing wrong with screening a girl straight away but its like going to a girl "So what do you have going for you other than your looks"[Lare Hoop] compared to "So what dso you do for fun"[Small Hoop]. She's more likeley to answer the second one if you get what i mean.

After she said "I dont really know myself. Thats a deep question." You could have gone into the Cube and told her that its a personality test but it may come of contrived. I mean think about it. Can you imagine someone walking up to you and going..."So who are you?" I dont think you would like to be put on the spot like that. It would make you feel uncomfortable.

On the other hand it makes you seem Hard-to-Get and of Slightly higher value which may have been why she kept on looking at you. And lol its good you kept away from the deep questions the second time around.

Hope this helps a bit man.

Cuff
Author:  Jav [ Sun Feb 08, 2009 8:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
You should have dhv'd when she asked you what kind of person you are. Instead you bounced it right back to her leaving her in an awkward position. Remember you have to take the lead in the conversation.

It's not a bad opener, but you handled it wrong
Author:  The Omega Man [ Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah that's not bad, but you shoulda took it in the above suggested directions. Or told her that you used to be captain and number 10 of the Nigerian football team. :lol:
Author:  J_J_Okocha [ Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:10 am ]
Post subject: 
sounds good guys.

It was just an opener I made up at the moment. I dont used canned material cause I dont like memorizing routines and openers and stuff.

to the first responder this wasnt really a party with my social circle of friends. I knew about 5 people out of probably the 50 to 60 people that were there. I didnt have instant social proof, but dhv'ed myself progressively. It was good going to a party where I didnt know most of the people and of course the girls. I gives me a chance to see my progression better.
Author:  paradiseracing [ Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
this wasnt really a party with my social circle of friends. I knew about 5 people out of probably the 50 to 60 people that were there.
A good question would be to ask how she's connected to the party. If you know 5 of the 50, it's likely you two have some connection.

In my opinion, I don't like this opening because it puts them on the spot and like she said it's kind of a deep question for a stranger to ask. This looks more like a comfort building question than an opener.

When she responded who are you? she wasn't really looking for what your answer was, but how she should answer you. If you said, "I'm the host" you'd get a different response than if you said "I'm a brother of 2, potential father of 1."
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