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Indirect approach got called out
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Author:  Amb11 [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Indirect approach got called out
Went out last night with a few friends who are not good at approaching at all. I wanted to try and impress them by opening a group of girls since we were standing in line to get into a bar and not moving anytime soon.

I approach a group of three and go with a simple indirect opener:

"Hey, let me get your opinion on something quickly..."

Before I can even start the opener, this girl on the left says "THIS IS A PICKUP LINE"

I stop my question, look her right in the face (keep in mind the other two girls are looking at me very interested) and say "Waht are you talking about... I didn't say some dumb pick up line. I simply asked my if I can get your opinion on something."

She then responds "Ya but I've heard this before, you start with a story." I look at her with an odd face and then look at her friends and say "Is she always like this? How do you take her out?" to which they laugh intently.

I proceed with the question "So anyway, my friend from back home is going out with this girl for one month but wants to break it off, but he wants to do it over text." Adn the two girls are very interested and answering me. But the mother hen on the left is still persisting to annoy me.

"This is a pick up line, I've heard this before!"

I say, "Please explain how this is a pick up line, would you like my friends name from back home?" She nods. "XXX XXX (actually the name of my real friend)." I say "Alright, well it was nice meeting you (looking at the two on the right, I'll see you inside" and leave.

I couldn't win over the mother hen, and thought I was trying to prove myself too much. However, my two questions are this:

1) How could i have handled that differently to win over the mother hen?
2) Now I'm kind of scared to use indirect openers at all on the odd chance that this will happen again, should I be?

On a positive note, the two freinds I was with didn't hear all that went on, and when I went back were looking at me liek "wow" and the two guys in front of us, who I didn't even know, slapped my hand and back and were like dude you're sick, that was great (also thinking I won them all over lol).
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Indirect approach got called out
Quote:
1) How could i have handled that differently to win over the mother hen?
2) Now I'm kind of scared to use indirect openers at all on the odd chance that this will happen again, should I be?

On a positive note, the two freinds I was with didn't hear all that went on, and when I went back were looking at me liek "wow" and the two guys in front of us, who I didn't even know, slapped my hand and back and were like dude you're sick, that was great (also thinking I won them all over lol).
QUESTION ONE: Some females go out just to have a good time and shoot
guys down. Forget about it. It's no big deal. You did great here man.

QUESTION TWO: Don't be set off because of ONE AFW (average frustrated woman).
Keep doing what you are doing. You played your cards right since the other
two HB's are/were interested in you.

As for a few guys congratulating you, congrats on improving your status
quo. You are now considered a "leader" to those guys. The more people
you have around you making you look like the "leader"... the more
interested ALL females will be in you.

Congrats again here... You just became the ALPHA MALE to those guys.
Author:  codyl [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you did a good job Im trying to learn how to use canned material right now and it is scary. Because situational openers are easy to use but you never know the response your going to get which makes it hard to plan the rest of your game ( I just felt like saying that)

I think you should never say the word opinion when opening because that what neil strauss wrote about in the game which sold millions of copies

I think a better way to disguise it (im just giving you feedback im no professional) is to say "hey guys quick question.............." and go in with enough energy and mabey even talk a little bit faster than you normally do so the motherhens cant cut you off untill your at least done with the question

ALSO YOU COULD HAVE SAID. (RIGHT AFTER SHE SAID THIS IS A PICKUP LINE) "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK YOUR OUT TO PICK THEM UP THESE DAYS I REMEMBER WHEN YOU COULD GO OUT JUST TO HAVE FUN AND MEET NEW PEOPLE" then immediatly stack into your question

I think thats the beauty of canned material it lets you plan for responses that you will probably get again in the future

I think that mabey this line or a line similar would have totally shut her up
Author:  fabie [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you did brilliant mate, I would have freaked out as soon as she caught me, lol. But really handled it well, the mother hens can be a pain but you sometimes need to give them some loving and attention befor proceeding.

For example always handle the alpha female first, she is the boss, and she needs to verify that you are a good guy, so you would have to focus on her, once she confirms that you are really no threat, you can talk to the other girls. But just remember take her on first, head on, this is all about if you are manly enough to not take crap from no one. You negged her which got her pissed. Remember, the "Is she always like this?" neg is normally for your target! Not cockblockers.

I think that if had I had the guts I would have done something like this. Looked her straight in the eye and said "O really? (cocky funny) or do you just need a hug? :)" Then if she excepts hug her, if you can lift her up, and then say, "Well, I guess you were right about my line, because I did just technically pick you up" else just say "That wasn't so bad was it? But I still need an opinion, what do you think of introducing me to your friends :)" if she rejects the hug offer, (which I kind of expect), directly lower her value, this is your last resort. Say something like "You're no fun... I guess some people don't like making friends..." In this case she has protect her dignity and say some crap which will make her status equal to yours, or if she insults you she will be considered a bitch. And, then proceed with a story, because you have opened. And, start focusing on your target etc. Just routine.

During all of this make sure you have a lot of confidence and keep the other girls attention. Shouldn't be too difficult if you take the mother hen head on.

Ok, enough theory craft. Don't even now if any of that will help :P
Author:  J_J_Okocha [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. like someone said you could have been like "why do you think i am trying to pick up, i am simply out having a good time trying to meet new people. is that a bad thing?"


2. you could have said "didnt your mother tell you never to interrupt people while they are talking?" then took her hand and gave it a little slap "bad girl!"
then just continued.

3. lastly u could have ignored her completely and slowly close her off from the group because u would have had two of the three which means the third girl had no chance of dragging the other two away.
Author:  roady [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:40 am ]
Post subject: 
I gaurantee she heard it from VH1s pick up artists show with mystery. that show ruined so much great canned material, i got called out when doing an esp test to a girl, another girl said "I think this is from that show the pick up artist" this is why PUA need to change into more of a natural based game, but hardly anyone can start out without canned material. you just got bad luck on that mate.
Author:  jurupa [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Indirect approach got called out
Quote:
Before I can even start the opener, this girl on the left says "THIS IS A PICKUP LINE"

I stop my question, look her right in the face (keep in mind the other two girls are looking at me very interested) and say "Waht are you talking about... I didn't say some dumb pick up line. I simply asked my if I can get your opinion on something."
I would have taken the "smart ass" route. As I would have said "I don't know is it?". And rolled off it with what ever the hen responded back with. More than the hen would not be able to really respond back to it.
Quote:
Now I'm kind of scared to use indirect openers at all on the odd chance that this will happen again, should I be?
Don't use canned material and you will be better off. There is no reason to be sacred to use indirect openers.
Author:  jurupa [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I gaurantee she heard it from VH1s pick up artists show with mystery. that show ruined so much great canned material, i got called out when doing an esp test to a girl, another girl said "I think this is from that show the pick up artist" this is why PUA need to change into more of a natural based game, but hardly anyone can start out without canned material. you just got bad luck on that mate.
I am not saying I am a natural, but I find that a bit of creativity goes a long ways with it comes with openers.
Author:  eliec [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:29 am ]
Post subject: 
A couple things i've used before:

1- "Excuse me, it's rude to interrupt people"

2- Look her up and down "Really? Did you try it on someone?"

3- "No, it's called conversation. Look it up in the dictionnary sometime."

4- "Jealous?"

Any of those should be followed by ignoring her, or DLVing her if she tries to butt in again, like "dont be so desperate for attention girl, i'll get back to you in a minute" or something.

PS: you handled it pretty well man, dont worry about it.
Author:  The Big Bad Wolf [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
You did it good,

You could've played with her though.
making the opinion opener to "What is the dumbest pick-up line you guys have ever heard"
(She probably would've been a bitch and said the one you just delivered)
To which you could tease her
"You don't get hit on a lot, do you ?"


But yeah, Indirect game is running a small chance of being called, but this is rare.
Some do recognize that it may be an opener, but they don't call you on it, because they enjoy the conversation, and it's far better than average pick up lines like "hey, that's a pretty dress. Can I buy you a drink? "... and then the regular interview.
Author:  Barney Stinson [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
You did pretty much everything you could have. It was a no win situation. Maybe the mother hen saw vh1's the pick up artist. But thats just something you can't control. Don't let little defeats like that get you down. The text dump opener is my favorite opener as well.

Better luck next time,
B-Man
Author:  fabie [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't know guys, like I said before if the smart ass comments and the teasing go a little too far especially against the alpha female you are out. Like, the "You don't get hit on a lot?" "Jealous?" you are gonna crash and burn faster than you can say "pick up line". Seriously, she is the alpha female for a reason because she separates the rotten eggs from the good ones. But remember she may have a huge ego, they are still friends. You insult one, you insult them all. First makes friends with the cockblock and ignore her useless comments and she will let you to her friends.

Imo, Negs are for the target! NOT the alpha female!
Author:  Amb11 [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I don't know guys, like I said before if the smart ass comments and the teasing go a little too far especially against the alpha female you are out. Like, the "You don't get hit on a lot?" "Jealous?" you are gonna crash and burn faster than you can say "pick up line". Seriously, she is the alpha female for a reason because she separates the rotten eggs from the good ones. But remember she may have a huge ego, they are still friends. You insult one, you insult them all. First makes friends with the cockblock and ignore her useless comments and she will let you to her friends.

Imo, Negs are for the target! NOT the alpha female!
I kind of agree here. I definitely like the "Why do all girls think that every guy is trying to pick them up, can't we just have a conversation?" line a lot though, wish I would have thought of that on my own.

The fact is, since I'm just starting out I'd like to get a lot of experience under my belt, and then ultimately switch to direct game/natural. I like it a lot more, and even used a bunch that night, and to my surprise it worked flawlessly.

For instance, I took Cajun's line and saw a girl giving me the eye, approached her immediately and said "you can't look at me like that without saying anything" and she ate it up. Laughed and blushed. The other I like a lot is when you see a girl sitting by herself not having a good time, approach and say "You should smile a bit, I bet it looks cute on you." Went 3/3 with that one too.

I think overall though, I've really conquered the approach anxiety I have had my whole life. I can approach sets near effortlessly now, the main issue I'm working with currently is that transition from opener and their opinions to dhving and building comfort.
Author:  Stormy [ Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:12 am ]
Post subject: 
If you want to go indirect, use something other than an opinion opener. For serious.

My personal favorite: "Hey, I've got a song stuck in my head. Do you know how to get rid of those?" Easy transition into a conversation about music. Here's how it usually goes for me:

Me: "Hey, do you know how to get rid of a brain itch?"
Girl: "A what?"
Me: "Brain itch. Song stuck in my head?"
Girl: "Oh, no. Blah blah blah..."

You know you've hooked when she asks what song you've got stuck in your head. My personal standby:

Me: "'Conga' by Gloria Estefan."
Girl: "What?! How'd you get that one stuck in your head?"
Me: "I watched The Birdcage about a week ago, and it's been stuck ever since."

Etc. Just flow from there.
Author:  Anytime [ Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:45 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you handled that situation really well.

If that ever happened again, I would prefer to use a response that sort of shoots them down and makes them want to qualify themselves to you in return.

So when she jumps out and says; "THIS IS A PICKUP LINE"

You say; "Why would I come over here and try picking you up without getting to know you first?...You could be the worst person in the world and I wouldn't even know, and you probably are seeing as you just interrupted me." <stack into question>

Unless the mother hen is a 9 or 10, don't include that last bit about being the worst person.

That should K.O her. Then you get to shoot your question off and rock some C&F.

Once again, what you did was awesome.
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