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Good book that may help with AA and expanding social circle
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Author:  VSaon [ Sat Dec 27, 2008 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Good book that may help with AA and expanding social circle
(If this is posted in the wrong place let me know, but I think the value of it relates more to AA & Opening conversations)

I just remembered a book that I ready a few years ago that I thought may help many people with basic conversation skills and also with just plain making friends.

"How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie

It was written 70 or 80 years ago and it is an excellent primer for talking to people and I think it's a must read for anyone who wants to be better with people. Here's a fast outline but you should really read the book yourself.

Remember though that none of these "rules" mean that you can't mess with a girl and make fun of her playfully(C&F) just don't be a *real* asshole, just a fun/joking asshole. I've highlighted some words or phrases I think are more related to PU.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Hope this helps someone out there, it did help me a lot.
Author:  AceofSpades07 [ Sat Dec 27, 2008 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
i actually just ordered this book the other day thanks for the overview. seems like a good read
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