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Get in Somebody's Head
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Author:  Art [ Fri Feb 16, 2007 2:53 am ]
Post subject:  Get in Somebody's Head
Ok,

so in the first place, the following:

I picked up somewhere that the key to conversing with a person is to find out something about that person, something unique that you can use later to make them feel good about(by winning you over).

However, there are just some chiks that have a strong bitchshield, which i call a "Magnetic Bitch Shield".
So, the question is perhaps too general, so i will try and codense it:

I know open ended question are crucial, however, what sorts of things do you look for in the persons response in order to fuel the convo?

To keep it from dying?


Or, what things do you folks ask them about, generally, to crack them open?
Author:  Saros [ Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
In order to be vibing with them, their shield needs to be gone or low enough for you to have an actual conversation with them. As long as the shield is down, you should be good to throw in almost any open ended question. See, the main problem that most unnaturals seem to have is with their ability to have a spontaneous conversation or to hold one, which I assume is your main question.

Here’s part of a post that was written by knowledgebase on a different forum.

“Suppose a girl said to you "At this party last night, I got really drunk and started grinding with my girlfriend and making out with her."

Possible topics for you to vibe off of are:
1. The party last night
2. Parties in general
3. What you did last night
4. Getting really drunk
5. Girls making out with other girls
6. Her girlfriend
7. Grinding/dancing
8. Dancing at parties/club

This is the easy part. Just by recognizing what a wealth of topics she presents you with every time she opens her mouth, you'll solve the problem of "stalling out" and having nothing to say.

Occasionally, you can break the association rule, and make a topic switch with no transition. The key to this is to do it sparingly, especially in low-energy environments. Too much totally unrelated topic switching makes it seem like you’re nervous and too occupied in thinking of the next thing to say to listen to the person and enjoy the conversation.”

AND for those times when the set is just silent or not very talkative:

“A better way is to ask what I call "set-up questions." A set-up question is a question which is useless by itself, but opens up possibilities for vibing. They are basically the questions AFCs ask all the time. The different between a set-up question and an AFC question is the purpose it is asked for. Examples are:

What have you been up to lately?
Where do you live?
Are you in college?
I hear an accent, what nationality are you?

Obviously, useless for attracting a girl by themselves. You want to avoid asking these questions too much, and only ask them as much as you have to in order to create material to vibe off of.

Let’s go back to our phone example, where you have nothing to vibe off of. This happens to me all the time, and usually I’ll ask the first set-up questions I listed “So, what have you been up to lately?” if she’s unresponsive to my initial story.

Sometimes I get a good answer from this, but often it’s something like “well I got called into work…it was so stressful…and then I watched some TV.” The possible topics here are work, stress and TV. This is something which stumps a lot of guys, when they aren’t presented with any emotionally powerful topics. The critical thing to understand with these responses are that YOU CAN SPIN ANY TOPIC, NO MATTER HOW BORING, INTO AN INTERESTING OR EMOTIONALLY POWERFUL ONE.

Let’s take the example of work. You can easily spin the topic of work into something interesting by telling an interesting work-related story which happened to you or someone you know in the past few days.

For example, in a situation like this a few days ago, I responded with “Yeah, I know what you’re saying, work can be stressful sometimes (pace her reality). I remember once I was doing the same thing, working for twelve hours, and I came home really tired. I walk into my kitchen to grab something to eat, and my girlfriend at the time was there, cooking something. At first it kind of freaked me out, I was like “how did you get in?” It turns out she actually broke in through the back door and just started cooking in my kitchen. But anyways, she knew that I was working all day so she decided to surprise me by cooking me some Salvadorean food for when I got home. And I thought that was awesome…I loved how she would always do little things like that for me. I thought I was tired when I got home, but after that I didn’t feel tired anymore. We ate, and then I took her out to a club and we danced all night. I think it’s crazy how you can think you’re tired, but then you see someone who you like and they can make you feel better. So anyways…you seem like the type of person who would do little things like that for people…are you?

Of course, don’t copy my story, you need to make up your own. If you copy mine, it will come off as ENTERTAINING and canned, and it will hurt your game. And most importantly, don’t tell the story to try to demonstrate value, do it to smoothly set-up the screening question.”
Author:  Art [ Sun Mar 18, 2007 9:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
awesome, thanks.....
i found it helpful to notice visuals in your mind as they tell the story;
to most humans it comes naturally, some more than others, since we are visual creatures....
anyways, usually as they speak, you notice the story as an image, and you can choose what pops out more to continue the string.

For instance:

you: i bet you had a Really exciting day at work today

not really. I came in and there wasnt much to do, as always. Just the typical.

In y mind, I visualize her entering a room with a cofee table, papers, and other people working around her, all in a mechanical trance.
I choose from the above elements to create a feed.

I could choose the cooworkers, and say "oh, so everybody there must have really boring lives."

she: yeah/i dont know i dont talk to them

you: Do they have intimidating faces, etc?

she: no, we just keep our distance

me: do you use a ruler?

That was one spontaneous example , but generally I pick out anything, and use it to keep the feed alive.

The way i say it is important. Very important.
Author:  Simple [ Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey, Saros' is great advice, also though...
Quote:
I know open ended question are crucial
This is not true...
Style says that by asking open ended questions, all you're doing is looking as if you want to know a lot about her etc. you know the story... but if you talk to her as if you're her friend, by talking through statements, then you seem much less intrusive, and so they start to let their self protect mechanisms down-- and so are much more open..
I'm not saying don't ask questions, you want to keep conversation going the way you're comfortable with... try this though, I find it works for me
hope i've helped
Simple
Author:  osiris [ Thu Apr 05, 2007 3:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hey, Saros' is great advice, also though...
Quote:
I know open ended question are crucial
This is not true...
Style says that by asking open ended questions, all you're doing is looking as if you want to know a lot about her etc. you know the story... but if you talk to her as if you're her friend, by talking through statements, then you seem much less intrusive, and so they start to let their self protect mechanisms down-- and so are much more open..
I'm not saying don't ask questions, you want to keep conversation going the way you're comfortable with... try this though, I find it works for me
hope i've helped
Simple
I entirely agree with the talk as much in statements as possible. Its more personal, and will generate FAR more information to continue a conversation without it turning into an interrogation (everyones favorite topic is themselves, so they will more than willingly tell you all about them). Its successful enough to get a girl to show you her tattoo on her ass and tell you her life story then introduce you to her friend all in a 30 min time span. :D
Author:  HB_Hunter [ Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very good posts!!! I like them.
Now they will help me very much in future.
Now I now that I have to listen her conversation with me very carefully,
becouse from some words during the conversation you can start interesting story.
Phenomenal!!!

-HB_Hunter
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