PUA Forum :: If she thinks you were rude or insensitive

I understand that you were trying to create attraction with her through teasing. And that's cool, but
the thing you need to understand is that there is a DUALITY in creating attraction, through:

1. TEASING

2. COMPLIMENTING

If you do too much of anything, without balancing it with the other, you'll kill attraction.

> If you do too much complimenting and too soon, you'll come across as an ass kisser.

> If you do too much of teasing and too soon, you'll come of as arrogant and a jerk.

So before you do anything, first assess what kind of a girl you're dealing with - is the girl very confident
and self-assured, or is she a bit insecure?

If she is very confident, you can start teasing earlier. The comment you've made would be
in place if she was confident.

But if the girl is somewhat insecure with herself, start by giving her some compliments. Soften
her a bit before you tease.

Make sense?

In your case, you were dealing with a somewhat insecure girl, so before you teased her like that
you could have built some rapport with her, asked her about what she does, PULL her in.

AND THEN you could have said your comment, and it would sound funny and she would
giggle and laugh and do all kinds of girls stuff.

So remember duality my man. And use them wisely when talking with women.

Author:	rom9 [ Tue Jun 02, 2015 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:	If she thinks you were rude or insensitive
Met a girl at a dancing lesson (HB 8.5 maybe). Never seen her before, but she gave me clear stares and smiles even before I talked to her. Was surely into me ! So when she came dance with me, I made her laugh and made the attraction stronger. Then on the second dance I casually asked her if she was Japanese (she is clearly Caucasian BUT she has a strange whacky sense of fashion, crazy colored hair and so on like many Japaneses girls do), and it was a cheeky comment. She was kinda shocked and laughed but at the same time seemed to take it too personally and not as a joke as I intended. She got cold after that not responding much. I asked her if she was thinking why I called her Japanese. I said cause "your hair color and your sense of fashion is like that, whacky just like the Japanese". She smiled but then I felt like the attraction was not so strong. She is thinking probably that I am a dickhead or I was rude to her when this was not the case at all. I am sure no guy has ever been straight forward to her like that. What do u guys think I should do next time I meet her ? I mean what to say to get back the attraction and escalate.

Author:	WillEdward [ Wed Jun 03, 2015 4:18 am ]
Post subject:	Re: If she thinks you were rude or insensitive
I would just build up more commonalities and rapport with her. Just by going to the same dance class as she is will slowly build up attraction through the mere-exposure effect. You don't have to break much rapport because you already have a strong commonality by taking the same dance class. You should escalate outside of the dance class when you have isolation so she won't be judged by her peers and it will be a more comfortable environment. You can invite her out for drinks or go to some dance club, which is perfect because you both dance and game her normally there.

Author:	JackZero [ Wed Jun 03, 2015 8:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: If she thinks you were rude or insensitive
You need to stay away from the jokes. When I say "you", I mean you in particular. Some guys have a knack for it and others don't and I'm sensing that English may not be your first language so getting your humor may be getting lost in translation. Instead, pay her some compliments on her dance and let her know that you enjoy dancing with her. Like the previous poster said, build the rapport on commonalities.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Wed Jun 03, 2015 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: If she thinks you were rude or insensitive
Did you get her phone number or anything? I'm not sure how you're going to see her again unless that is the case. Either way though man, you have just like so many others have got to learn to let go. One girl, one failed attraction, so what? There are many other 8.5's with normal hair, great fashion, who can also dance. Whats so special about this one? Anything?

Author:	Black Phantom [ Thu Jun 04, 2015 7:48 am ]
Post subject:	Re: If she thinks you were rude or insensitive
I understand that you were trying to create attraction with her through teasing. And that's cool, but the thing you need to understand is that there is a DUALITY in creating attraction, through: 1. TEASING 2. COMPLIMENTING If you do too much of anything, without balancing it with the other, you'll kill attraction. > If you do too much complimenting and too soon, you'll come across as an ass kisser. > If you do too much of teasing and too soon, you'll come of as arrogant and a jerk. So before you do anything, first assess what kind of a girl you're dealing with - is the girl very confident and self-assured, or is she a bit insecure? If she is very confident, you can start teasing earlier. The comment you've made would be in place if she was confident. But if the girl is somewhat insecure with herself, start by giving her some compliments. Soften her a bit before you tease. Make sense? In your case, you were dealing with a somewhat insecure girl, so before you teased her like that you could have built some rapport with her, asked her about what she does, PULL her in. AND THEN you could have said your comment, and it would sound funny and she would giggle and laugh and do all kinds of girls stuff. So remember duality my man. And use them wisely when talking with women.

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Author:	rom9 [ Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: If she thinks you were rude or insensitive
Thanks a lot guys for the inputs there especially on the compliment and teasing one ! Will keep that in mind. My issue is not jokes or openers or ay of that. I have posted previously in the "STICKING POINTS" forum about this. I can get girls to laugh and enjoy my company get their numbers and ask them out as well. Its after that I tend to fuck up. With the last three girls (who clearly gave me IOIs and were obviously interested in me) I still managed to somehow not f close any ! I am not sure where its all going wrong. Quote: I understand that you were trying to create attraction with her through teasing. And that's cool, but the thing you need to understand is that there is a DUALITY in creating attraction, through: 1. TEASING 2. COMPLIMENTING If you do too much of anything, without balancing it with the other, you'll kill attraction. > If you do too much complimenting and too soon, you'll come across as an ass kisser. > If you do too much of teasing and too soon, you'll come of as arrogant and a jerk. So before you do anything, first assess what kind of a girl you're dealing with - is the girl very confident and self-assured, or is she a bit insecure? If she is very confident, you can start teasing earlier. The comment you've made would be in place if she was confident. But if the girl is somewhat insecure with herself, start by giving her some compliments. Soften her a bit before you tease. Make sense? In your case, you were dealing with a somewhat insecure girl, so before you teased her like that you could have built some rapport with her, asked her about what she does, PULL her in. AND THEN you could have said your comment, and it would sound funny and she would giggle and laugh and do all kinds of girls stuff. So remember duality my man. And use them wisely when talking with women.

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