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Worst result that's come about from approaching
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Author:  sonic172 [ Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:36 am ]
Post subject:  Worst result that's come about from approaching
Just curious as I'm looking to get back into things and need to sort my AA out. But my thought's in my head are saying that if I approach and do stuff wrong then really bad stuff can happen that'll make me feel awful. Now thinking about this properly seems silly I mean what's the worst that can happen so I figure I'd make this post and see what the worst has happened to you from approaching (well or not so well) anything that bad? or just mild social discomfort?
Author:  Mastermind9000 [ Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Quote:
Just curious as I'm looking to get back into things and need to sort my AA out. But my thought's in my head are saying that if I approach and do stuff wrong then really bad stuff can happen that'll make me feel awful. Now thinking about this properly seems silly I mean what's the worst that can happen so I figure I'd make this post and see what the worst has happened to you from approaching (well or not so well) anything that bad? or just mild social discomfort?
Nothing bad happens, ever. Not to me anyway. Worst, they aren't interested. Then, strangely, if they see you just shrug and move on, they start to look at you differently. The fear of approaching is totally irrational. You are not in danger.
Author:  sonic172 [ Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Quote:
Quote:
Just curious as I'm looking to get back into things and need to sort my AA out. But my thought's in my head are saying that if I approach and do stuff wrong then really bad stuff can happen that'll make me feel awful. Now thinking about this properly seems silly I mean what's the worst that can happen so I figure I'd make this post and see what the worst has happened to you from approaching (well or not so well) anything that bad? or just mild social discomfort?
Nothing bad happens, ever. Not to me anyway. Worst, they aren't interested. Then, strangely, if they see you just shrug and move on, they start to look at you differently. The fear of approaching is totally irrational. You are not in danger.
Thanks for that! Posts like this are what I'm imagining the case to be which can silence that little voice in my head that's way too focussed on there being a drastically bad outcome! :)
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Sep 25, 2014 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Worst thing (which ironically turned out OK) to ever happen to me was a few years ago when I was cold approaching a group of girls (I am not wonderful at cold approaching).

I stuttered and mumbled and they couldn't hear me... and when they finally did hear me they all collectively laughed at me and said it was adorable.

I wound up with a number... (from a 5 girl set)... But I sorta think it was a pity thing. I think we shot a few texts back and forth but that was it.
Author:  textytext [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
to be honest your situations can vary. the common result will be that nothing will happen to you. a bad result will be self embarrassment that can quickly pass. but if you are careless you can actually end up in a tough situation. for example you can talk to a girl who may turn out to be underage. so be careful about your random approaches. you can talk to someone who may have a drunk and violent boyfriend nearby. you can talk to someone who is or has friends that are just plain rude.

only the rude women have been happened to me personally. a friend of mine talked to a 3 some. and 1 of them happened to be underaged. so i got him out of the group quickly. i saw someone get hit but he wasn't a part of our group. so other things could have happened there but i think i witnessed the situation from beginning to end. it didn't take much for the situation to escalate. those are extremes that i have rarely observed.

finally, i read some posts on this forum where guys were sarging and women complained on them to a bouncer or security guard. i only mention those things because you asked for the worst.

again, the most common result of bad pickup is that nothing will happen. the woman will walk away or you will walk away. you may feel awkward and just move on to the next. anything more will just be in your own mind because the target of your failed approach won't give you another thought passed the next guy who tries to pick her up or the guy will will go home to.
Author:  schoolofromance [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Was slapped a few times though...but that was when I was really socially awkward...

Sometimes I approach mixed group and the guys raised their fists but fortunately the bouncers were just right behind...

But those happen only like one in a hundred or two hundred approaches...
Author:  Stenic1 [ Fri Oct 03, 2014 9:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Worst experience i had was my mate talking to a girl he knew from years previous. Her boyfriend was close by knocked my mate out i tried to diffuse the situation i then get a burst nose and the guy ends up lying spark out as my other mate hit him as he hit me.

All in all it was eventful but thats one night out of thousands so no biggy. I've no hard feelings plus i can take a punch being from glasgow.
Author:  sonic172 [ Fri Oct 03, 2014 10:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Quote:
Worst experience i had was my mate talking to a girl he knew from years previous. Her boyfriend was close by knocked my mate out i tried to diffuse the situation i then get a burst nose and the guy ends up lying spark out as my other mate hit him as he hit me.

All in all it was eventful but thats one night out of thousands so no biggy. I've no hard feelings plus i can take a punch being from glasgow.
Damnnnnn!!!

Weirdly enough I've been doing quite a bit of kickboxing so a few punches doesn't seem quite so bad as a lingering social arkwardness!

I suppose it's another story to tell!
Author:  Stenic1 [ Fri Oct 03, 2014 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Yeah the punch wasnt that bad just hit me square on the nose lol ! to be fair the guy was pissed so i wasnt to bothered he got what he deserved in the end.
Author:  breedlove465 [ Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Quote:
Just curious as I'm looking to get back into things and need to sort my AA out. But my thought's in my head are saying that if I approach and do stuff wrong then really bad stuff can happen that'll make me feel awful. Now thinking about this properly seems silly I mean what's the worst that can happen so I figure I'd make this post and see what the worst has happened to you from approaching (well or not so well) anything that bad? or just mild social discomfort?
I've had women be extremely rude and tell me to go fuck myself. Other than that nothing. Never been in a fight, never been in trouble etc.
Author:  Dragula [ Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
I made out with a drunk girl who was married. I got a tap on my shoulder and her best friend punched me and bust my lip in front of everybody.

I got over it by taking home a different girl who seemed single.
Author:  CEED [ Sat Oct 04, 2014 1:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Hi there very new to all this and I don't consider myself to have much in way of game lol.

So I went through a phase of going up to women when I was out at night, usually plastered drunk, and just saying any name that popped into my head, then apologising after mistaking them for the wrong person just to start a convo.

This one time this tall girl (a slightly posh 6.5) was pretty much alone outside a club in Shoreditch as it just started closing, as I came out the door I yelled "Hey Matt!" (I was with a guy called Matt and was probably running low on creativity). As she turned I apologised and then she slapped me, fairly softly to be honest but I was stunned..

So I slapped her back very (very) softly, I'm pretty sure she went for me again, I dodged it, my brand new RayBans that were tucked into my shirt fell on the floor and she tried to stamp on them lol.. I grabbed them and ran off after that.

I guess it wasn't the nicest thing to call her Matt.. but I was really taken back by her reaction, needless to say if I do use this approach I limit it to girls names now (and I would never ever usually raise a hand to a girl - this was an exception to try and say girls can't get away with that shit either - still probably wasn't the right decision but after thinking over the situation a LOT I think she was probably pissed at something already).

Besides the above, getting embarrassed and maybe a little laughed at, nothing major has ever happened.

CEED
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
There was that guy who used to day game at a college campus and someone called the cops on him for harassing and stalking girls. He was up front and told the cop he was just there to talk to women. The cop started chastising him and telling him he was a loser. That's pretty bad, and certainly embarrassing and awkward. But I guess the point is that he didn't get arrested or hurt, so how bad was it in all actuality?
Author:  TheFury [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Quote:
Just curious as I'm looking to get back into things and need to sort my AA out. But my thought's in my head are saying that if I approach and do stuff wrong then really bad stuff can happen that'll make me feel awful. Now thinking about this properly seems silly I mean what's the worst that can happen so I figure I'd make this post and see what the worst has happened to you from approaching (well or not so well) anything that bad? or just mild social discomfort?
Unless you are approaching Jon Jones girlfriend being really creepy while he is there, nothing bad is going to happen to you.
Author:  TedH [ Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Worst result that's come about from approaching
Here is the my fundamental approach to this (Get it, approach)

Separate the opening from the overall approach there are really two parts to this.

First is the open and second is the banter.

For open:

People think that girls are different from guys. THEY ARE NOT!

What helps me is to ask, what would be the worst thing if i approached a guy. Obviously not in any kind of pick up fashion but to simply ask a questions or comment on awesome shoes or comment on the fact that he is brolic and is probably on a testosterone cycle.

What would happen? If you are coming from positive frame, smiling and open body language and GIVING VALUE to the interaction then the response would be positive.

NOW, what would happen if you approached a girl like that? Direct or indirect most interactions start with a compliment anyways. Again the response would be positive.

for banter:

Getting in her pants is a whole another thing - she might be married, take, gay OR you might have a booger hanging out of your nose. ANYTHING.


SO GIVE VALUE YOU SAD KUNT!!!

Cheers,
Ted H
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