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| New To The Game, connecting to groups https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=183300 |
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| Author: | Akuma [ Sun Aug 31, 2014 10:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | New To The Game, connecting to groups |
Hi, Since I'm new to this forum. Let me introduce me real quick. Bascilly I'd suffer from massive panic attacks in the past (couldn't leave the house) and recovered from it with fitness and nutrition. I weight 54KG due to an eating disorder accompying those panic attacks, but within a year, 1.5 year I'd manage to bulk up to 70KG and cut down to 64KG, 13% fat. Normally I'd used to get real drunk before going out in order to have some fun. However, this resulted in a lack of 'game'. recently I went out for the college introduction (with one friend) end party sober and I saw all the social dynamics being played out. Different groups interacting with each other. My friend found something to ask about someone who broke his leg an connected with this group. For the first time, I did feel like having fun when going out and being clear minded. (If you're a hardcase, you got nothing to do with alcohol and stuff) My goal this year is to improve my social skills and possible get a girlfriend. Regarding this night out I have a few questions. I know I have a long way to go, but I'm willing to commit myself to the process. With this social event, 1. I went out with a friend. Due to my panic attacks, i really did not have much friends,.So we drinked something (i went for non-acoholic). However, he met two old highschool friends and I stood ackwardly by as they talked along. How do I approach this matter. In a loud club I coudn't really hear what they were talking about thus I was not able to hook into that conversation. 2. My friend had earbuds that filter sounds (reduce the DB). Are these socially accebtable? I'm quite sensitive to the loud stimuli. Is this a good investment,? 3.One girl ((albeit a fat one), starts dancing with her back to me, Even when I moved back, It looked like she was illicting a reaction (several times). Is this just my mind 'hoping' for a certain outcome, or is this something I should react upon? Thank you all in advance for any advice |
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| Author: | Killzie [ Mon Sep 01, 2014 7:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New To The Game, connecting to groups |
It's called proximity. She wasn't asking for anything but she was putting herself into the position for something to happen. Sure you could have approached and opened if you want but that wouldn't have been much of a challenge. Build some confidence man. I know what anxiety and panic is like and cold approach helped me a lot. During the approach that's all I could think about and afterwards as well and I felt so confident. Give it a shot. |
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| Author: | Mastermind9000 [ Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New To The Game, connecting to groups |
Quote:
1. I went out with a friend. Due to my panic attacks, i really did not have much friends,.So we drinked something (i went for non-acoholic). However, he met two old highschool friends and I stood ackwardly by as they talked along. How do I approach this matter. In a loud club I coudn't really hear what they were talking about thus I was not able to hook into that conversation.
Poke on of the friends in the side and talk to them. Or if you can't hear them then look for eye contact with anyone in the group and when you get it yell "What are you all talking about?". Or stand in the middle of them and talk about whatever you want. The only reason you don't belong standing in front of all three of them motormouthing and holding court is because you don't think you belong doing it. Thank you all in advance for any advice Go out more and try jamming into conversations. Open one person in the group with an observation, a question, a cold read, who cares... Look for eye contact with any of them, but do it looking for their attention so that you can say something and not like you are looking for a reaction. Step in closer, like you belong. Kino. Yes, on dudes. Practice patting guys backs and shoulders when you step into a group. You have every right to be curious and friendly and talk to whomever you want. If they don't like it then they can ignore you or go away. You aren't going to "try" talking to them, you are going to "start" talking to them. They don't have a choice in the matter so don't worry about jumping in. It's the worry that causes the problems. |
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