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| I'm Learning to Get Shot Down https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=178586 |
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| Author: | Noitartst [ Fri Apr 25, 2014 10:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
I've managed to get a couple of closes, but I'm still not over approach anxiety. I've been told to do fifty to one hundred approaches in one sarging go 21 times before to really overcome it, and I haven't done that, yet. (First time I tried, I wound up getting security called on me, but I'm ready to try again, with more confidence, and experience.) I've not yet gotten shot down, enough so, I'm thinking of asking people outrageous question,s and then working back to for numbers from it. Things like, "What kind of men do you like to date?" "Am I creepy enough for you?" Stuff like that; won't gain a lot of success, but it should improve my experience, in the process. Sound like a plan, folks? I'm wanting to inure myself to rejection, and in approaches like this, does it matter all the approaches I make are to women? I plan most to be, but you know.... I'm just trying to improve, here. |
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| Author: | Damien Cash [ Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Words like "creepy" are probably the reason they called security. That's like asking "Do I give off a good rape vibe?" It's cool to ask oddball questions (I often ask "bear or shark?"), but nothing that suggests you are some type of stalker weirdo. Also, I hope you aren't trying to approach 50 women in the SAME BAR. It's cool to shoot to talk to 20-30 women in a night, but spread it out. Also, stop fucking thinking so much about what you're going to say. Take a quick look at them. Cool scarf? Awesome, tell them it looks vintage or some shit. There's plenty to talk about without asking if you look "creepy enough." |
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| Author: | Tchill [ Sat Apr 26, 2014 9:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
You're overthinking getting rejections way to much. You want succes not rejection after rejection. You learn from rejections and from succes equally. And AA just deal with it. Maybe you get on a nother level, before breaking AA is seen as insignificant. Remember, get the girl should be your goal, not beating AA (or beaing outcome dependent for the matter) |
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| Author: | Noitartst [ Sat Apr 26, 2014 9:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
For your info, she was a minor, and I touched her in poor sequence, and she called security, and later, the cops. Never said nothing suggesting "creepy," 'cept maybe acting thus inadvertently. I also plan to approach in a mall. I'm trying to overcome fear of rejection, so I'm trying to become more reckless with my words, a little. Not all wear interesting scarves, let's admit. All I'm trying to is get very confident in the approach, which still improving. Once confident thee, I can move on to the quality, though I have a couple of closes. |
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| Author: | Don Horneone [ Sun Apr 27, 2014 7:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Quote: For your info, she was a minor, and I touched her in poor sequence, and she called security, and later, the cops.
Sounds like you've got bigger problems than rejection.
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| Author: | Damien Cash [ Sun Apr 27, 2014 8:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Quote: Quote: For your info, she was a minor, and I touched her in poor sequence, and she called security, and later, the cops.
Sounds like you've got bigger problems than rejection.Also, unless you're 18, you may want to stay away from minors. |
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| Author: | lizardking [ Sun Apr 27, 2014 10:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
I see what you're saying but I think you've got it a bit mixed up. One of my favourite "game" books is The Sales Bible by Jeffrey Gitomer (surprisingly relevant). In it he says you need to get seven "no"s before you get a "yes". When I started day game I was anxious as hell but I started looking at it as the more rejections I got the more I learned and the closer I got to "yes". I started looking at it as going out to collect rejections and it changed my approach mindset and suddenly I was approaching without fear: the pressure was off. Looking for a yes is often scarier than looking for a no. BUT... you've got the right idea and totally the wrong methodology. If you go in doing totally stupid approaches the only thing you learn is bad habits and how to waste time. Go in, do what you think will work and use the rejections to adjust each approach. I really don't see the point in doing totally stupid lines just to get to know what rejection feels like. Don't you know already? You might as well go and ask for directions or for the time or something if you just want the feel of an approach. It's low risk and you don't get in the mindset of being an arsehole. Yep, seek rejections as a learning experience but don't create rejections on your own for the sake of it. That's just stupid, you'll turn into a dick, security guards will start to recognise you as that dick that does stupid things and you won't learn anything useful. |
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| Author: | Noitartst [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 5:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Okay; expecting rejections is probably the right attitude, and I haven't mastered it, yet. I've garnered a couple closes after I got over my fear of the direct approach, but I still haven't mustered to confidence to kino escalate, yet. I've made the mistake of escalating when I had nothing to say, but I've more stupidly not escalated when the conversation's gone well. I find going direct more honest than just asking for directions, or something. I don't like lies, and going direct is honest, but so are observational openers, though, I'm having trouble pulling them off. I'm nowhere near as scared as I was at the start, but I'm still largely scared. My marginal confidence now leads me to marginal success, and I'm still more of a an AFC, than a PUA. Mystery said there are no "recovering" AFCs, but right now, I feel stuck in the middle, straddling the wide divide. Unpleasant, to say the least. |
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| Author: | Monsignor Crisanto [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 6:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
You'll get there soon enough bro. As I see it, you're learning fast enough. Likewise, as other posters noted, don't seek out rejection for the sake of being rejected. Have fun. A fun vibe will give you better results than a rejection mindset. Enjoy the interaction. When girls feel you're enjoying the interaction, they'll enjoy your presence too. When girls feel that you're expecting to be rejected, they'll feel creepy around your presence. |
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| Author: | Noitartst [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Me, I'm still having to push myself to sarge, and that's a chore. |
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| Author: | Flow~ [ Tue Apr 29, 2014 2:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Always: "Leave her better, than you found her!" Enjoy making a girl happy! That and only that should be your primary goal! If you can't enjoy that, than don't game! If you enjoy it, than sit down for a moment and think what could make a girl happy. Making someone happy is not that difficult. You can for example make an honest compliment. Go to a girl and say: "I'm sorry. I just saw you and I think you have a really cute nose." or whatever. She will smile (indicator of being happy). You won and you can go home! You loose you fear, when you see that you make the world a better place. I lost my fear in the first few days. I met a girl in the train. She yawned, I saw it. She was ashamed and I just said: "That was cute." We had some nice smalltalk. She was on vecation and on her way to meet her friend. Since she was only for two days around and I had to work I didn't ask for a number or anything. I was a gentleman, helped her with her luggage and brought her to her friend, where I said goodbye. I could hear them talking and laughing happily. She was so happy and proud about the story. Even yet when I type these words I have to smile, too. This is what game is about! Since than I feel bad if I don't game. ^^ Everything else (how happy you can actually make her) comes with practice. |
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| Author: | Noitartst [ Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: I'm Learning to Get Shot Down |
Making people happy. I'm still not sure I'm happy enough to summon my patronus, if you will; it's a challenge. |
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