Hey all!
Andreas here... Today I want to share my honest thoughts on what I call the "Art of Approaching"
It is not going to be a post about approach anxiety, that is another story. This post is more about the mindset of approaching and some perspectives you should have when approaching a woman.
So let's get into it...
See it from her perspective
no matter what kind of technique, opener or style you use, I think it is a good (and healthy) idea to put yourself in her shoes for a moment...
A random guy, a stranger, a guy, she doesn't know, comes up to talk to her. She might be attracted to you, sure, but if she doesn't know you that is not the important thing right now, because what is going through her head is this:
"What does this guy want? Why is he here?" It is obvious, you think that of every stranger who starts talking with you.
This is where you...
State why you are there
I don't know if you are comfortable about being direct or not, but either way you need to make it clear why you are there. If you are there to use your opinion opener or whatever, go ahead! I am not a fan. I am not there to get her opinion on something, I am there to find out, whether or not we are compatible with each other.
If you decide to go direct and tell her you have approached her because you think she is stunning in her red summer dress, or WHATEVER, I would like to point something out to you...
She is not used to guys coming up to her and being as direct as I suggest, ESPECIALLY during the day time! So let her know that you realize it is kind of an awkward situation, but you wanted to meet her.
And that is it! I honestly believe that is all there is to approaching. If you can get over your anxiety and use the advice, I have given in this post, you can't go wrong.
Will you be rejected? Will there be women not interested? Women with boyfriends? Lesbians?
Of course! That is part of the game. Your only measurement of success is whether or not you showed up as a man, approached her as a man and asked her out. If you did all these things, you are succesfull. Don't measure your success on her reaction; you can't control it anyway!
To finish this post, let me give you a line just from the top of my head okay! A line that kind of makes what I talk about more practical.
"Hi, I'm Andreas. What's your name?" (Name, say Lisa). "Look, Lisa, I am a little nervous talking to you right now but I just had to meet you. You look absolutely stunning in that dress." (Response) "I know this is not a very normal thing to do, but I think you are beautiful and I would like to know you better. You should go out with me tonight/Friday/Whatever." (Response) "Let me get your number, and I'll call you!" (Gets number)
Don't take it too serious with your opener. What I just wrote is from the top of my head and not from an actual interaction, I have had with a woman. It does a good job outlining my basic interactions with women when I approach them, but I use what the situation gives me and I improvise. I make it natural.
One last note: Don't be afraid to admit you are a little nervous if you are. it shows vulnerability in a strong way, and it shows confidence and makes her at ease. Leave your ego behind and be honest!
I hope you could use this post
If you have any inputs or suggestions whatsoever, please leave a reply! Regards
Andreas
