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How to approach when you have a stutter?
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Author:  BadBoy84 [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 12:34 pm ]
Post subject:  How to approach when you have a stutter?
I stutter when I talk, not horribly bad (I think it's worse in my head than in actuality), but it's something I've VERY conscience about. Mostly my issue is saying my name, since my name starts with a hard syllable, sometimes I get stuck on it; I've already seen a speech therapist, and I'm about as good as I'm going to be. My issue is that when I go out, I "can't' approach; I just freeze up b/c I'm scared of stuttering. I've been in some awkward situations before in regards to this, and sometimes their initial reaction makes it awkward for me, which makes me "panic," and in turn stutter more. When I drink I don't care, but I don't want to have to drink (obviously) in order to approach girls. It's just that when I do manage to gustier up enough balls to approach, I'm so focused on my stuttering, trying not to, that I put more pressure on myself, or don't end up paying attention to what she's saying. :oops:

I've come to the conclusion that I need to address this front and center when I do my approach, so I'm looking for ways I can incorporate this with some light banter or with a joke upon initially approaching; I just don't want to sound like a dumbass though. I KNOW that this is the cause of 90% of my AA, and if I can just "own" it in a way that makes me comfortable, then I know I'll improve.

Once it's out in the open, I'm more relaxed because then it's no longer a "surprise" when I get stuck on a word, but I can't just go up and say: "Hi, my name is D; I stutter when I talk, but I'm really good in bed..." hahaha :lol:

thoughts guys?
Author:  RockstarPUA [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 7:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to approach when you have a stutter?
I think you nailed it when you said you need to own it. Just keep strong in your frame. Stuttering automatically makes you look nervous and beta. Just be alpha in everyother respect, I.e body language. And you know, so girls might even think its cute. Remember gareth gates? Lol
Author:  jamesd31 [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to approach when you have a stutter?
I agree in owning it. Keep your frame strong, just act as if you already get all the ladies anyways. I would never make fun of yourself,even light banter. You need to follow the 3 second rule and stick to that.
Author:  Dragula [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to approach when you have a stutter?
Non verbal game is your friend.

I know they will eventually speak to you, but hopefully by that time you have attracted her sufficiently enough that bypass's the stutter.
Author:  BadBoy84 [ Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to approach when you have a stutter?
It's just tough; the girls I'm attracted to aren't the t[*]ype to approach the guy. I thought I could get by with online dating, but we all know how that ends up. On one hand while stuttering may come off a nervous, the act of approaching should counter that.

Maybe it is all just a mind frame.
Author:  jamesd31 [ Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to approach when you have a stutter?
It all in u mind. Stuttering is caused by nervousness and over thinking. U even said so yourself! Game will eventually help you overcome the stuttering. Like I said 3 second rule, and overcome thee AA first. Also do try nightclub / non verbal game to help start off.
Author:  BadBoy84 [ Fri Aug 30, 2013 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to approach when you have a stutter?
My best friend told me that he noticed something about me; it wasn't so much the "stutter" than it was the fact I try to cover it up, and make things worse. What he meant was that I try to talk "louder" to over power the stutter (like force words out), and I talk faster to try to hide it (maybe they won't notice); rather than coming off with a slow, calm, cool personality (slow speech), I come off neurotic, and overly excited (like a puppy who wants to play). He says that is what kind of scares women away when I FIRST meet them. Women who I've known for a while know "how I am," but I can't get new women to that point.

Someone who is overweight, really short, bald, or who has some other kind of visible "handicap" doesn't come off a surprise to people because they can "see" it right off the bat. I come off a surprise because no one is expecting it, and in their defense, they don't know how to respond to it (at first). That's why I'm trying to figure out a way to "own it" and to incorporate it into who I am.

THIS is my mountain, if I can get comfortable with this, my AA will be gone.....
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