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| How I destroy Approach Anxiety https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=167819 |
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| Author: | stu_Notts [ Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
I see the target. I then figure out, if she is near a door, the toilet or the bar. I then conciously tell myself, I am going to the bar, the toilet, etc. Subconciously I know I am going to approach. I then focus on what I am telling myself Im doing. Then as I pass her, I do the double take and it is more genuine as I honestly belive Im going to the toilet the bar, etc. However you have to truley believe you are not going to approach her and your just going to the bar. I actually do this process in my head 100 times quicker than it has taken me to type this. Hope this helps you guys. |
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| Author: | ToxicRaps [ Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
YOU DESTROY IT BY APPROACHING HER. Haha it's always scary the 100 times. Then you get use to it. It becomes natural. No more anxiety, no more butterflies. Bam. |
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| Author: | Xoved [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
I actually never think most of the time about anything. I just go in and open up a conversation with anyone, sometimes even the girl. You can seriously go up and ask about anything, really ANYTHING. She's a human just like you. When I enter the bar, I just say to myself "what's the worse that could happen? She's going to say no? Ok I don't know her...and even if she said no, if I didn't try in the first place I would've been wondering what could have happened if I approach her". In other words, I'd regret that I didn't approach her. That's why I approach so easily these days. |
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| Author: | stu_Notts [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
I always make a joke about crashing and burning as well. When I approach I have no expectations because of this. |
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| Author: | stu_Notts [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
Quote: YOU DESTROY IT BY APPROACHING HER.
That is actually true, once I put one foot forward, the anxiety goes, its just if I stop to think first that I just fuck myself over in the head.
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| Author: | Soy Un Pony Dork [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
I'm feeling more relaxed now... I was horrible a few weeks ago, but I know it's still fucking with me. I started talking to a girl, then she pointed to her name tag. I didn't even register the name tag until 10 minutes later... I also notice that I'm doing it mostly for the approach. I'm not getting any numbers or anything. I do feel like I'm getting good reactions some times, but it's like I don't transition, and I'm just wondering whether or not I should do x or y... and it's a balancing act between that and listening. |
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| Author: | Hold [ Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
Jump. Imagine skydiving. Sure, to most people it's terrifying. The thought of falling incredibly fast and potentially smooshing into the ground has a way of gripping the mind. But once you're in that plane, all you need is one split second of your mind saying "Actually, go for it. Let's see how this goes" to make the difference between standing there gripping the doorway in terror and frustration, and falling. Now imagine a skydiving instructor. He's been doing this for years! Sure, the first few hundred jumps were terrifying. Maybe he even got injured once or twice. But now, it's natural to him. That's what you need to do. So the next time you're frozen up with AA, just jump. It'll scare you to begin with, but you'll be teaching in no time. |
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| Author: | Bruce-Wayne [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 11:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
Approach Anxiety only happens because of a negative expectation. People who approach a lot know nothing bad will happen, so they no longer expect anything bad to happen so they approach easily. For people who never, rarely approach, they have all these scary thoughts running through their mind of what might go wrong. You fix this by focusing more on the positive aspects of approaching her (fun conversation, getting her number, kissing her, fucking her etc.) rather than the negatives (rejection, failure, etc.) The only reason you don't approach is because you think something bad will happen. Dillute the feelings of fear with how good you'll feel after you get her number, date her, have sex with her, etc. If you can visualize this, all the better. |
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| Author: | stu_Notts [ Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How I destroy Approach Anxiety |
Quote: Approach Anxiety only happens because of a negative expectation. People who approach a lot know nothing bad will happen, so they no longer expect anything bad to happen so they approach easily. For people who never, rarely approach, they have all these scary thoughts running through their mind of what might go wrong.
That is some fucking awsome advice. Seeing one of my mates in a bit, who still has strong AA. Hope you dont mind me quoting you.
You fix this by focusing more on the positive aspects of approaching her (fun conversation, getting her number, kissing her, fucking her etc.) rather than the negatives (rejection, failure, etc.) The only reason you don't approach is because you think something bad will happen. Dillute the feelings of fear with how good you'll feel after you get her number, date her, have sex with her, etc. If you can visualize this, all the better. |
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