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Have approaching in me but still not doing it
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Author:  LeeEvansFan41 [ Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:57 am ]
Post subject:  Have approaching in me but still not doing it
I can look a woman who's still a stranger in the eye, even have something witty to say about the situation but very rarely do I actually say whats on my mind, maybe it's laziness or I just havent formed the habit of just saying it, so opening is pretty difficult, not that I dont know what to do or how to do it, or even what to do once i've opened, but sometimes I have the whole thing ready and just can't pull the trigger. We all go out to have fun and girls love my humor (I tend to only piss girls off when I DONT approach/open them) but sometimes I just freeze or choke and can't make that first move, any idea what may be the cause of that or maybe its because I havent really made this a habit yet and it doesn't come naturally, if thats the case i should just go out and open more with everyone during the day
Author:  GamesSN [ Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Have approaching in me but still not doing it
Sounds like Approach Anxiety.

Just get into the frame of mind of approaching women even if it's small things like smiling at someone sitting down and asking if anyone's sitting beside them. Once you do these small but normal things you'll more easily move towards bigger approaches such as going up to randomers and saying something crazy like "When a guy is fucking you do you like it more from behind or face to face?" When you get to that point you'll just be having fun with it and be confident in how you hold yourself, you'll learn what you want from the encounter and how to open.

I actually have a problem where I miss opportunities to open or I see a girl, she sees me but I don't see an opportunity without it being weird and awkward to approach her. It's just a bad approach if you see a woman, she sees you and you start walking towards her dead on. That's why you need something interesting or have a genuine reason to talk to her specifically to approach such as needing a lighter or being at the bar and what not. The "My friends girlfriend is bisexual" routine is golden for approaching and so are similar routines like it but I find they can be hard to transition from and so I don't rely on them.
Author:  LeeEvansFan41 [ Sat Aug 24, 2013 11:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Have approaching in me but still not doing it
Yeah, I do/did have mild AA I admit. I smile at girls all the time nowadays, some smile back some dont even notice (Extremely rare i get a negative reaction and when I do I just laugh it off and assume she's having a bad day) Sounds like a very ballsy opener I must say asking a total stranger that question :D I never approach a girl too confrontational, thats a no in Strausses book anyway. Yeah, i know what you mean by canned openers (I've had a wingman force me approach girls and say 'Hey, do you think it's okay to date an ex girlfriends sister?' and sometimes I got questions like "Why you asking me?" 'Because you look like the kind of girl who might know' "How so?" 'Ummm...o.o Thanks for your advice :)') Personally, I think canned material is okay if you're not genuine with your opener or there's nothing to comment on the situation but I always prefer good honest 'fresh' openers (But canned openers are better than not opening). Yeah, I think I will start with lots and lots of little things and make it a frequent habit, opening just doesn't feel like something I do all the time and no big deal just yet, I wanted to open a set of two HB9s in a club line who were asking each other about admission prices, I wanted to say 'You know, I always notice those places that charge admittance are always packed, why is that?' I even turned to the target, gave her eye contact, had the mouth open but it didn't come out o.o Im sort of a shy guy but I do have a positive and funny personality, I just need to make it more of a habit of being that person, thanks for the advice man :)
Author:  GamesSN [ Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Have approaching in me but still not doing it
Heh, well one big thing to remember is not to think too much into it.
Author:  LeeEvansFan41 [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Have approaching in me but still not doing it
I was acting how society wanted me to act, when i give it the middle finger I find approaching much easier, we're trained to believe ALL strangers are dangerous so we avoid approaching at all but we all like making new friends and having passionate encounters with girls, with that hostile mind-set approaching is litterely impossible. When we go out its best to say to ourselves 'Who gives a f*ck what anyone else thinks?' and just go for it
Author:  GamesSN [ Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Have approaching in me but still not doing it
Just go up to two women no matter how attractive they are on a night out and just say "You two are absolutely gorgeous, I had to say that." Only have one goal: Get their names. You can eject easily after you get a feel for the conversation if you want. Just say "I just wanted to say that but I gotta go back to my mates." if it goes well keep it going.

You won't get put down. This does two things: It helps you approach a woman and get used to it and it makes them happy. Getting a compliment from any randomer is going to make anyone smile.
Author:  LeeEvansFan41 [ Thu Oct 31, 2013 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Have approaching in me but still not doing it
Hey, just felt like saying im finding it easier and easier to talk to strangers now, I usually have a little joke with them too. Ever get that little voice in your stomach that says something about whats going on in the situation, usually listening to him and saying what he says to them works like a charm and women take it as a 'OMG thats what I was thinking, how did you know?' I think it's called curiousity or maybe alter-ego (Not to be confused with the dreaded 'ego' though) My alter-ego tends to be extremely curious, somewhat cheeky, very positive and will laugh and joke about everything. Perhaps these are characteristics of my inner child buired by the ritual of society? Our heart (Desire) wants us to make new friends and get to know people but our brain (Ego) will always try to talk us out of it and protect us from any possible physical or emotional harm.

In a nutshell, listen to your heart as much as you can and use your brain when you have to but as little as possible
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