PUA Forum :: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?

I don't like absolutes - the 'negs don't work' bit or the 'you must neg' bit are equally untrue. A lot of game is situational. I don't think this was a bad opener, but I'm not inspired by it (I've heard it before somewhere).

This girl in particular pushed back pretty strongly - it was a shit-test that you weren't prepared for. Of course it would take time to respond to something so surprising, but I find that a good way to disengage is to genuinely smile and say the equivalent of "you have a great day," then leave. It prevents you from looking like a little boy at a loss for words, and it also prevents you from looking like a sore loser (it's kind of a DHV).

If I was in your shoes, I would have pushed back on equally strong terms but have been playful about it - (and no - I wouldn't have been able to come up with a graceful reply on the spot either). Maybe I'd do the following:

*laughing it off - taking her insult in stride:*
" I knew I should have worn my contacts this morning. I guess I'll hold off commenting on your clothes until I'm sure I'm seeing right." ... then quickly regain control and change the frame.... "I'm Jim..." *smile*

I'm not sure if this would work or not, but it's something I would try.

Author:	Damonm [ Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:	How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
There is a HB9+ that I always see at my neighborhood coffee bar. I have really been trying to get over my approach anxiety so I decided to approach her. Yesterday morning I went to her while she was waiting for her order and was looking at her. When she noticed I was looking at her she was kind of like "what"? and I replied with a smile and opened "You have something on your chin/neck. Oh wait, it's just the line where your makeup ends." She didn't say anything but she grabbed a napkin from nearby and started rubbing them into her eyes, then her lips and all over her face. She then did the same things with one she dipped in water. I has no idea what was going on until she opened them up and put them in front of me and they were clean! Not a of smudge of makeup on either one. I was actually shocked. She replied. "No makeup here. Not wearing any. Don't own the stuff actually." I looked closer and realized she was right, no makeup. She then looked right at me and said "I'm guessing the airheaded bimbos you're used to hitting on always fall for dumb stuff like that. Just stick to hitting on them. You'll have more in common with them anyway." I was almost slacked jawed (never seen a girl as pretty as her who didn't wear makeup) and couldn't think of a reply and when her drink came she grabbed it and sat down with her book. I got my drink and left quickly. It's been a day and I have been wracking my brain but I can't figure out what I should have said back. My question is, how should I have responded to what she said? And have I blown it with her or should I try again next time I see her?

Author:	n2thevoid [ Sat Jun 15, 2013 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
Negs don't work, stop using them. In fact, this thread should be stickied so other guys learn that negs are stupid and the majority of women are aware that you're interested and are turned-off by how creepy and antisocial you come across.

Author:	JayMoe [ Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
agreed, negs don't really work on any women who have self esteem. and to be honest, a teasing neg would be ok. something like, oh you have a bit of foam on your cheek or something. you basically said a really rude neg. basically implied that shes fuckin ugly and wears a ton of makeup.

Author:	Preston87 [ Sat Jun 15, 2013 11:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
I don't like absolutes - the 'negs don't work' bit or the 'you must neg' bit are equally untrue. A lot of game is situational. I don't think this was a bad opener, but I'm not inspired by it (I've heard it before somewhere). This girl in particular pushed back pretty strongly - it was a shit-test that you weren't prepared for. Of course it would take time to respond to something so surprising, but I find that a good way to disengage is to genuinely smile and say the equivalent of "you have a great day," then leave. It prevents you from looking like a little boy at a loss for words, and it also prevents you from looking like a sore loser (it's kind of a DHV). If I was in your shoes, I would have pushed back on equally strong terms but have been playful about it - (and no - I wouldn't have been able to come up with a graceful reply on the spot either). Maybe I'd do the following: laughing it off - taking her insult in stride: " I knew I should have worn my contacts this morning. I guess I'll hold off commenting on your clothes until I'm sure I'm seeing right." ... then quickly regain control and change the frame.... "I'm Jim..." smile I'm not sure if this would work or not, but it's something I would try.

Author:	JayMoe [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 2:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
agreed, absolutes are never good with nearly everything. I think negs can be used situationally. However, if she was wearing a ton of makeup and you insult her for it, she's probably going to feel pretty hurt, and will likely not respond by trying to impress you. Put yourself in a similar position girl "you're fuckin ugly" you "oh I need your approval now, let me eat your pussy" never gonna happen. Anyhow, I do think you can save this one after all. You gotta eat a bit of shit. Next time you see her, maybe say something like, "hey last time I was just trying to tease you, and I put my foot in my mouth" (being able to admit when you mess up is DHV and is an alpha trait) I've found that most women don't have a problem forgiving, and in some cases it's increased the sexual tension immensely. (one girl and I got in a heated argument over something stupid like religion or politics, and she was really smart so I ended up being pretty upset. but then we patched it out and the chemistry was pretty strong from the beginning)

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Author:	aidenfuckingbaker [ Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
Wow man she told you off. She obviously saw right through it, use this as a lesson to just try and be more genuine and authentic in the moment. Dont use dumb pua lines as crutches. Next time you see her I would say I apoligize you were right on that one i gotta give it to you. What I meant to say was i see is I always see you here at this neighborhood coffe bar and I just gotta say you look really cute every time I see you here. Be honest about your intentions especially with the hotter girls because they can see right through those tricks

Author:	wingintyme [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
I find your thread humorous and assume this is a open you want to try but the story has too many holes to be believable. I don't understand what you mean by "opened them up and they were clean" what is them/they? her eyes? her Mouth? You say "chin/neck" as your quote but which was it? her chin or neck or do you even remember? I've been in game over ten years and I don't think the opener was that bad but negs as openers generally aren't effective unless you can think quick on your feet and have a witty comeback to build her back up. You don't have that right now. If I were in your spot for that scenario after you said it, I would have said "oh it wasn't that noticeable" has she was wiping. Then let her respond. She may cut herself down then you can build her back up or she may ignore your next line. If she ignores you, say it "no really, wasn't that noticeable" a little bit louder. She was giving you a great chance to build her back up and get on her good side with her "bimbos may fall for it" line. but you didn't know what to say. Another thing that is really cute about your thread is that you are telling the forum that she doesn't wear make up now b/c she told you AFTER SHE CLEANED IT OFF, that she didn't. Yes, she wears it , it was on that day, and she is self-conscience about applying it correctly and you struck a nerve. Not too bad for your first approach, but openers in this business you should realize with a few approaches, are easy. It's the comeback and the proceeding conversation that's going to get you anywhere

Author:	DeepBluesy [ Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
The woman you were dealing with had a really "Entitled Nobility" attitude. From the "What?" rudeness To the dramatics of her defense To the overlywordy, verbally abusive, kick-your-dick-in-the-dirt judgment call. You started with a neg, why not continue with one. I mean, you negged her and before you could DHV she IODed you. That starts the program over again. So neg her again. "Wow, you don't get out much do you?"

Author:	Soncheese [ Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
what i would suggest is next time you see her apologize for what you said and also add that what she said about you really hurt too (jokingly way) and then re start the conversation by saying im ..... shake her hand etc

Author:	TheFury [ Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
Negs can be useful, but why do people think they are openers?

Author:	Preston87 [ Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
Quote: Negs can be useful, but why do people think they are openers? I echo the sentiment, I feel as if some degree of rapport, however minimal, should be built before using them.

Author:	TheBase582 [ Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How should I have responded (neg opener gone wrong)?
Honestly, I don't think that qualifies as a neg. "You have something on your chin/neck." Is fine. "Oh wait, it's just the line where your makeup ends." - sounds insulting coming form a stranger.

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