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| Stage Fright https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=161520 |
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| Author: | pathological [ Thu May 02, 2013 4:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Stage Fright |
OK guys so I've recently started with a newbie challenge of generally being as social as I can with everyone... saying hi to as many people as I can... (I find ugly girls and old people easier to start with and build social confidence)... I am doing OK, although I am starting to notice one of my great weaknesses... I hate opening in front of people (if my approach is audible to them)... I am finding some success moving past this by thinking "for all those people know, i know this girl i am saying hi to"... but in some situations where it is quiet i just can't do it... Any advice for a guy who struggles to open in front of people?... whether they are random or friends of the HB? |
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| Author: | -..-.-.-.- [ Thu May 02, 2013 5:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
The solution is in your thread title. Find a theatre group, preferably an improv group, and start practising. You'll start to do so much random shit in front of people that saying hi will be the easiest thing in the world. Plus, it seems that many people seem to be fascinated by improv. I haven't figured out why yet, but it's certainly a nice hobby, also as an outlet of everyday stress. |
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| Author: | Hunter_Foxe [ Thu May 02, 2013 5:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Find other newbies to go with you, that way you can take turns and give each other feedback. This will also force you to approach and the competitive instinct in you will force you to take action. Do you get nervous when you speak to the cashier in the bank? Or when you order a drink? If not, then why not improv and make conversation with the shop assistant? Crack a shit joke, doesn't matter what you say, the purpose is to be stupid, so that you get used to the feeling of stupidity. Once you get used to feeling awkward and being ok with it, those moments won't feel awkward anymore. Being awkward can lead to tension. Once you master tension and you can cope with it, you can turn it into awkward sexual tension, which girls will want to break by kissing you. Force yourself into situations which make you feel uncomfortable. Stand much closer to people when in conversation. Look people directly in the eyes when you're talking and don't look away until they look away. Turn it into a game. |
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| Author: | pathological [ Thu May 02, 2013 6:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: The solution is in your thread title.
That's actually quite a cool idea, i'm in exam period right now but finish in about a month and move city... i will look up and see if there are any improv classes there... which i'm sure there will be!
Find a theatre group, preferably an improv group, and start practising. You'll start to do so much random shit in front of people that saying hi will be the easiest thing in the world. Plus, it seems that many people seem to be fascinated by improv. I haven't figured out why yet, but it's certainly a nice hobby, also as an outlet of everyday stress. |
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| Author: | pathological [ Thu May 02, 2013 6:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: Find other newbies to go with you, that way you can take turns and give each other feedback. This will also force you to approach and the competitive instinct in you will force you to take action.
I've actually wanted to have another newbie to go out with, i have a bunch of friends but none of them would do this stuff... when i do the simplest little openers on nights out they're like :O... Do you get nervous when you speak to the cashier in the bank? Or when you order a drink? If not, then why not improv and make conversation with the shop assistant? Crack a shit joke, doesn't matter what you say, the purpose is to be stupid, so that you get used to the feeling of stupidity. Once you get used to feeling awkward and being ok with it, those moments won't feel awkward anymore. Being awkward can lead to tension. Once you master tension and you can cope with it, you can turn it into awkward sexual tension, which girls will want to break by kissing you. Force yourself into situations which make you feel uncomfortable. Stand much closer to people when in conversation. Look people directly in the eyes when you're talking and don't look away until they look away. Turn it into a game. Funny thing is, most of the time i can actually have a conversation with shop assistants, i had one today with a woman at kfc (granted she was a 5 but still counts!)... I also opened a girl and chatted to her for a bit in the library (hb7 but didn't close which is annoying)... I guess my point is if it's situational i'm ok... but if it's just saying hi to some random chick who is stood with her friends, or she is around a bunch of other people... or sometimes even if she is completely on her own... i find it hard!... I will definitely be taking myself out of my comfort zone from now on... Ye i'll keep eye contact as much as i can when speaking to people (without seeming weird). |
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| Author: | wingintyme [ Sat May 04, 2013 1:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
What you are referring too is pretty normal. I've been in the game 15 years and I don't always want people hearing what I say. Honestly, I don't like people hearing it, b/c they don't have any business getting entertained by me for free. But it depends on the crowd too. Most people won't really care and won't think anything of it. Some people will find it entertaining to some level. If you get good at it, some people will hear it and admire you. What you would do is think of indirect conversation starters you could use on anyone. A girl you like, or a homeless bum on the street would be no different. Don't over think it, and don't let anyone get the impression you are talking to her b/c you like her. In a case like that, usually there are fashion questions you can ask out of curiosity. Women almost always will talk about fashion or something to do with the situation, ie the music. "do you know if the dj has played x song yet" |
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| Author: | pathological [ Sat May 04, 2013 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: What you are referring too is pretty normal. I've been in the game 15 years and I don't always want people hearing what I say. Honestly, I don't like people hearing it, b/c they don't have any business getting entertained by me for free. But it depends on the crowd too. Most people won't really care and won't think anything of it. Some people will find it entertaining to some level. If you get good at it, some people will hear it and admire you.
Well it is comforting to know i'm not the only one who doesn't like opening in front of audiences... At the moment i'm still concentrating on this newbie challenge, doing ok with the be social thing too! making checkout girls etc. laugh... Just still finding saying hi to random girls a little hard... i want to get myself to the point that i will say hi to any chick, even if she is a hb10 and in front of her hb10 friends... When i can do that i think i'd like to progress and do some direct openers... also going to try for an insta date or two when situational openers turn into conversations... I'm a complete day-dame newbie and this is my game plan! Ye it's good advice to talk about fashion, if she is hot maybe a little neg about how her ear-rings don't match her rings or something like that.
What you would do is think of indirect conversation starters you could use on anyone. A girl you like, or a homeless bum on the street would be no different. Don't over think it, and don't let anyone get the impression you are talking to her b/c you like her. In a case like that, usually there are fashion questions you can ask out of curiosity. Women almost always will talk about fashion or something to do with the situation, ie the music. "do you know if the dj has played x song yet" |
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| Author: | wingintyme [ Sat May 11, 2013 12:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: Quote: What you are referring too is pretty normal. I've been in the game 15 years and I don't always want people hearing what I say. Honestly, I don't like people hearing it, b/c they don't have any business getting entertained by me for free. But it depends on the crowd too. Most people won't really care and won't think anything of it. Some people will find it entertaining to some level. If you get good at it, some people will hear it and admire you.
Well it is comforting to know i'm not the only one who doesn't like opening in front of audiences... At the moment i'm still concentrating on this newbie challenge, doing ok with the be social thing too! making checkout girls etc. laugh... Just still finding saying hi to random girls a little hard... i want to get myself to the point that i will say hi to any chick, even if she is a hb10 and in front of her hb10 friends... When i can do that i think i'd like to progress and do some direct openers... also going to try for an insta date or two when situational openers turn into conversations... I'm a complete day-dame newbie and this is my game plan! Ye it's good advice to talk about fashion, if she is hot maybe a little neg about how her ear-rings don't match her rings or something like that.What you would do is think of indirect conversation starters you could use on anyone. A girl you like, or a homeless bum on the street would be no different. Don't over think it, and don't let anyone get the impression you are talking to her b/c you like her. In a case like that, usually there are fashion questions you can ask out of curiosity. Women almost always will talk about fashion or something to do with the situation, ie the music. "do you know if the dj has played x song yet" |
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| Author: | getyourgf [ Sat May 11, 2013 10:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: Any advice for a guy who struggles to open in front of people?... whether they are random or friends of the HB?
I like your idea of approaching everyone. Maybe try that for the first 5 approaches, it will get you into the right state of mind, and then focus on approaching girls. |
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| Author: | pathological [ Sat May 11, 2013 3:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: Quote: Quote: What you are referring too is pretty normal. I've been in the game 15 years and I don't always want people hearing what I say. Honestly, I don't like people hearing it, b/c they don't have any business getting entertained by me for free. But it depends on the crowd too. Most people won't really care and won't think anything of it. Some people will find it entertaining to some level. If you get good at it, some people will hear it and admire you.
Well it is comforting to know i'm not the only one who doesn't like opening in front of audiences... At the moment i'm still concentrating on this newbie challenge, doing ok with the be social thing too! making checkout girls etc. laugh... Just still finding saying hi to random girls a little hard... i want to get myself to the point that i will say hi to any chick, even if she is a hb10 and in front of her hb10 friends... When i can do that i think i'd like to progress and do some direct openers... also going to try for an insta date or two when situational openers turn into conversations... I'm a complete day-dame newbie and this is my game plan! Ye it's good advice to talk about fashion, if she is hot maybe a little neg about how her ear-rings don't match her rings or something like that.What you would do is think of indirect conversation starters you could use on anyone. A girl you like, or a homeless bum on the street would be no different. Don't over think it, and don't let anyone get the impression you are talking to her b/c you like her. In a case like that, usually there are fashion questions you can ask out of curiosity. Women almost always will talk about fashion or something to do with the situation, ie the music. "do you know if the dj has played x song yet" |
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| Author: | pathological [ Sat May 11, 2013 3:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Stage Fright |
Quote: Quote: Any advice for a guy who struggles to open in front of people?... whether they are random or friends of the HB?
I like your idea of approaching everyone. Maybe try that for the first 5 approaches, it will get you into the right state of mind, and then focus on approaching girls. |
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