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Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
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Author:  seyonata [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
So I opened a set of two guys and a girl.
The guys were talking between themselves and the girl was pretty much just stood with them. I walked over and made some observational point about the bar crawl we were all on, and then told one of the guys that I liked his t-shirt (the joke being that we were all wearing the same t-shirt for the bar crawl). The whole time I kept my body language toward the guys, away from the girl. Then the girl jumps in and says something like
"hey, what about my t-shirt?"
at which point I remark to one of the guys in a joking way
"she's needy isn't she, do you always put up with this?"
partly trying to neg her and partly figuring out the relationship between them.
After that she walked off and I just wanted a few ideas of what I could do better and what I did wrong.
Author:  detox75 [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Sounds like Mystery's stuff verbatim.

Im pretty sure he would have approached and reopened her at some point after she walked off.
Author:  seyonata [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Yeah, pretty much what I was going for, I'm very new, so I've not had a chance to read much else.
I guess yeah, I wondered whether you could see any way I could have just kept momentum from there.
Author:  detox75 [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
sounds like you did something wrong after your "needy" comment. From this post its impossible to tell, but your opening had the desired effect up until that point. I wouldn't worry about it to be honest, just keep approaching and opening.
Author:  seyonata [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Yeah, thanks, it's nothing major, just thought the more feedback I get the faster I'll progress. Not exactly the most perfectly explained scenario though haha
Author:  Hitman_ [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Hey, just read this (nice to meet you by the way).

In my opinion I think that this was the wrong neg to use at that time, purely based on the fact that it was the first time you acknowledged her at all. In this case how could you form an opinion of her 'neediness' when she's only piped up in the conversation once? If it was the the second or even third time she had butted in the conversation then I think this comment would've been better recieved. :-)

Just my two pence worth.

My response to her t-shirt question would've been "meh" (with a smirk). ;-)
Author:  seyonata [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Hey, you too.
I see what you mean, I guess it probably seems kind of hostile if that's the first thing someone says to/of you.
All about calibration, just need to keep making and correcting mistakes.
Author:  detox75 [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Quote:
In my opinion I think that this was the wrong neg to use at that time, purely based on the fact that it was the first time you acknowledged her at all.
I disagree it worked to textbook perfection, if the chick was turned off she wouldn't have said "What about my shirt!"

as always dont let the good become the enemy of the great
Author:  Hitman_ [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 11:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Hey Detox, you mentioned you think it went text book as if the chick was turned off she wouldn't have commented, but the neg was given AFTER the woman commented on her shirt? then she walked off.... I'm not understanding where you feel it was textbook before then? :-/
Author:  detox75 [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 12:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
did you say anything after the neg and before she walked off? How did the guys react at that time? She also could have been isolating herself for you to re-approach when she walked off.
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 12:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
First of all, her asking what you think about her shirt wasn't an ioi, it was her just trying to get some attention. She only ended up getting negative attention so she walked off to find someone else to give her the type of attention she wanted. That is all that happened there.

And again, you can't say one comment to a girl and then try to piece together what went wrong. You still have to run a routine on her of some sort. Even if you said "Your shirt looks MUCH better." I doubt little else would've happened unless you continued to engage her with dialogue.

Yea, try reopening her, but also be leary of negs as they sometimes will permanently put the girl off and she'll give you shit the rest of the night in retaliation.
Author:  Zeus101 [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
I would have said that here the wrong neg was used for the situation. As the guys arent interacting with her that much, she isnt getting much attention, therefore this neg cuts her down even more. If the guys were all over her, this neg would have been great as she wouldnt have just left two guys giving her loads of attention, and you would had knocked her self-esteem a little but not enough to push her away, just enough to try and fight for your attention, unlike the attention she was getting frm the other guys. Instead this kocked her self-esteem when it wasnt already high as she wasnt getting attention, so she left..

A more appropiate neg in my opinion would have been a more jokey comment like "yeah its alright, but i think it looks better on me, dont you agree?" with a cheeky smirk, as this also gets her interacting and talking back.

Zeus
Author:  seyonata [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got shot down, I'm new and want a critique
Thanks guys, good advice all.
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