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So I'm a model..
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Author:  atcollins1993 [ Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  So I'm a model..
what's up everyone. brand new to the community. anyways i'll get right down to it. about a month ago i started as a model for a large chain clothing store. when ever i'm out i usually wear my aviators. i'm in college and dorming as a sophomore. i tend to get more looks from the ladies than most guys but i'm no good at the initial approach/meeting new people. however once the initial ice is broken; i'm 100% fine. i guess around here that's called 'approach anxiety'. i consider myself to be very alpha however, and most times i just don't care enough to chat up a girl; i expect them to talk to me. if they don't care enough to chat me up, why should i care enough to? as you can see my mentality isn't particuarly efficient with girls ha. what tips/reccomendations can you guys give me for talking/meeting a girl that i see staring at me or checking me out? the real issue is literally thinking of what to say. i know i of course could just say 'hi' but, easier said than done. any advice appreciated.
Author:  bank_ [ Mon Oct 22, 2012 10:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
just say hello.

A 'mission' i read somewhere on this site im sure, was to say hello to EVERYONE you meet in an afternoon, or a day, or whatever time frame you give yourself.

Men, women, young, old, working, not working, doesnt matter, say hello. get over it.

Sure people will ignore you, some will say hello, some will not hear you, some wont care enough to reply.

They're just as scared as you are.


EDIT
approach tips:

* from the front, never from behind.
* you have 3 seconds from eye contact, else you come off as creepy/desperate. save for something like "excuse me miss, you dropped this" *object* perhaps you could use it as an open, but you already lost your chance, you probably wont use it anyway.

* smile and say hello :)
Author:  Blues Guy [ Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: So I'm a model..
Quote:
what's up everyone. brand new to the community. anyways i'll get right down to it. about a month ago i started as a model for a large chain clothing store. when ever i'm out i usually wear my aviators. i'm in college and dorming as a sophomore. i tend to get more looks from the ladies than most guys but i'm no good at the initial approach/meeting new people. however once the initial ice is broken; i'm 100% fine. i guess around here that's called 'approach anxiety'. i consider myself to be very alpha however, and most times i just don't care enough to chat up a girl; i expect them to talk to me. if they don't care enough to chat me up, why should i care enough to? as you can see my mentality isn't particuarly efficient with girls ha. what tips/reccomendations can you guys give me for talking/meeting a girl that i see staring at me or checking me out? the real issue is literally thinking of what to say. i know i of course could just say 'hi' but, easier said than done. any advice appreciated.
Literally just do it. Since you say you're good looking, you already have a lot working for you. I'm a fairly good looking guy and still getting over approach anxiety but every single time I do it I feel better about it and I'm amazed at how open they are to being approached by a decent looking stranger.

And definitely drop the "they approach me first" attitude. I play for a guy singer who is a perfect 10 and he has this attitude. He does get approached on gigs but it's no wonder that with this attitude he's only slept with 15 girls when he could have much much more.
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
I recommend going indirect for good looking guys. The reason is because the girls will naturally be attracted to you regardless of what you say, so you might as well try to come off as interesting and lacking an agenda, and let them come to you.

And don't stand there looking at her through your Top Gun sunglasses. Take them off and stare into her eyes.
Author:  atcollins1993 [ Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
appreciate all the feedback guys; really do. here's a little more context for ya. over the past year or so i've mastered the art of body language. i ooze confidence. walk slow, project through my arms/hands, talk slow, keep my chin up, shoulders back and relaxed, always in the 'lead', my 'style'/'look' portrays the image of 'rebel-class'. i'm willing to post a picture if that would help. i find myself making excuses not to talk to girls. most common being the fact that it's half way through the semester and everyone's kind of 'cliqued' up. sure these girls would be lucky if i showed some interest in them, but frankly it just feels very counter-intuitive for me to approach a girl looking for their 'acceptance' or approval; for i never go out of my way to look for acceptance; at all (the alpha in me..). any advice you guys have for me regarding an approach style that allows me to remain poise in a light and relaxed fashion that not only sounds natural, but feels natural and portrays comfort amongst both parties would be ideal. keep in mind the most common setting is the dining hall or brief passing in between classes and such. thanks!

p.s. cocky/funny with a flare of mystery is me.
Author:  Hammerofdawn [ Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well the best piece of advice I can give you is do not label the feelings you have as 'anxiety' - It is not the correct word to use to describe the feeling you get on an approach and labelling it as such continues to reinforce a negative.
I like to call that feeling 'Approach Excitement' - even the best PUAs get the same feeling, so learn to reframe your mentality to see it as a positive.

Check out this topic, it is a bit lengthy but is well worth a read:
*Credit to Rye Lee*
1-vt35880.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

What you will find is women like men to make the first 'physical' move, but in actual fact women make the first move because if they are interested they ussually make non verbal cues to show that you are welcome to approach - IOI's (and sometimes aren't even aware they are doing it) so unless they are confident they will not usually open you and others see it as the 'mans job'.

To put the shoe on the other foot, if you get feelings when you're about to approach a hot girl, women can feel the exact same thing when they approach a hot guy.

Basically even if a woman likes you and you deny her attempts of catching your attention through IOI's (some can be subtle or very blatant), you demonstrate to her that you either don't understand her intent or you are consciously choosing not to act on those cues - she will think you are rejecting her
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