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Girl being dumb (LJBF) after number close
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Author:  Blues Guy [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:17 am ]
Post subject:  Girl being dumb (LJBF) after number close
VERY QUICK number close tonight--like under a minute. Cashier at World Market, got her number while I was checking out. We made plans through text later to hang out tomorrow at 1, but she asked for my facebook. I gave it to her because I figured not enough comfort had been built and she'd be less likely to flake this way. This is an excerpt of our chat on FB:

HB8: im convinced you're very persistent
me: well, if you don't wanna go out that's totally cool, just figured id make it easier on you by making the first move!
HB8: lol i dont mind being friends
me: hahaha. that's really sweet, but i have plenty of friends
me: i don't grab numbers from girls to get more friends
HB8: i know me too im just not ready for anything this year has been hard enough
me: well thankfully i'm not asking you to marry me
HB8: lol i would hope not that would be weird

We're still meeting tomorrow, the conversation went on and I told her "are you a nice girl? I can't date nice girls" or something and she said "no im actually a huge bitch sometimes"

Was wondering if any of you guys have had experience with this? Is this a shit test/IOD/nothing? Why do girls do this after giving their number to a guy, and is it a common thing?
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl being dumb (LJBF) after number close
Quote:
Was wondering if any of you guys have had experience with this? Is this a shit test/IOD/nothing? Why do girls do this after giving their number to a guy, and is it a common thing?
escalate and find out, compliance will tell you more then what she is telling you

if she is just plain not interested and just wants to be friends, make sure she's actually worth being friends with and doesn't just want to use you, like, is she loyal?, is she cool?, will she help you meet other girls?

if not, probably not a good friend, just ask her why she wants to be your friend and let her know you take ''friends'' seriously, and you don't like being friends with people that would make bad friends
Author:  Blues Guy [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude, she fucking flaked with less than 2 hours to go. Seriously man, this shit is getting ridiculous. She said her pregnant sister is making her go to the doctor with her.

I just said "Hahaha" and deleted her number. That's my protocol with flakes. This flaking out shit is happening WAY too often.
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dude, she fucking flaked with less than 2 hours to go. Seriously man, this shit is getting ridiculous. She said her pregnant sister is making her go to the doctor with her.

I just said "Hahaha" and deleted her number. That's my protocol with flakes. This flaking out shit is happening WAY too often.
you know, you could save yourself a lot of headaches if you screened harder before getting a number and having more standards

you could also make the dates for that night, and be more specific about the frame around the meetup to screen her out quicker

you just stop trying to ''get girls'' and start trying to weed out the ones you don't want faster to get to the ones you do want, more approaching, less putting effort in for headaches
Author:  Chinopants [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
I feel for ya. WTF is with them flaking out. Its gotten to the point where is just over the top. Move on an next time you see her at the checkout don't ask why just move on threw an don't really acknowledge her. I do a freeze when they do bad behavior.
Author:  Blues Guy [ Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I feel for ya. WTF is with them flaking out. Its gotten to the point where is just over the top. Move on an next time you see her at the checkout don't ask why just move on threw an don't really acknowledge her. I do a freeze when they do bad behavior.
It's a pain in the ass, right? I don't feel sorry for myself. My confidence is not shaken. I'm just confused. I'm WAY overqualified for the girls I take home. Dude I'm a fucking touring musician (and when I'm on the road, I literally don't have to lift a finger and I can get HB9's and 10's easily... but... that's another story), I'm a great keys player, I have a masters, I'm good looking, witty, and extremely confident in my approach... and I've gotten flaked on by 2 HB6's and 1 HB8 (last night) in the last few weeks, all three of whom barely make above minimum wage and 2 of whom have no mode of transportation.

I'm so far from being a "nice guy" too. If anything, I get accused by about 40% of the girls I talk to for being a "smooth talker."

To be fair though, I guess I only remember the flakes and rarely do I dwell on my successes. I do have a few HB6's eating out of my hand right now, but who the fuck wants an HB6 anyway. Plus they weren't cold approaches, so that's just too easy.

I really don't get it. Maybe there's no rhyme or reason. Maybe it's like Mystery says, women are just programmed to flake... on guys, girls, even themselves. It's just very bizarre, very irritating, and it feels like the universe is broken or something.
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I can't help but think that maybe you came on too strong at the outset. You can't always bulldoze your way through her frame and into your own. You calibrate, find out what her frame is all about, then ninja your way into it before planning the finishing move. (Sorry, I have to reference ninja shit every once in a while...)

But seriously, I think she was just being safe and keeping her distance. After all you were her CUSTOMER at her JOB. (Don't get me started on hitting on hired guns again people...) And you go from snagging her number at her work to basically telling her outright you want her to be your gf or fb. Not exactly smooth game, no offense bro.

Personally, I would've detected her apprehensiveness and would've backed off and played it cool. I'd try to search for a commonality and start talking to her about that like I was genuinely interested (whether or not I actually was is irrelevant). You have to work subtle game on certain girls, and even then it may not always work out. Don't try too hard too quickly, and as you know, don't get discouraged.
Author:  User13247 [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Dude, she fucking flaked with less than 2 hours to go. Seriously man, this shit is getting ridiculous. She said her pregnant sister is making her go to the doctor with her.

I just said "Hahaha" and deleted her number. That's my protocol with flakes. This flaking out shit is happening WAY too often.
Although I think your skeptical attitude is justified, there is still a slim chance she was telling the truth and a considerable chance that this was a shit test. (Pregnant) Women can be very demanding, I've heard.

In my assessment, your reaction indirectly accused the girl of being a liar, and whether you were correct or not, that definitely destroyed the relationship that you had built up. And despite your bad boy protocol, I actually think your reaction sounds very much like you felt hurt by her cancellation. I think a curt, yet essentially kind response would have yielded better results. If you had said something like 'Nothing serious I hope', her (non-)reaction to this would have made clear what I would like to have known in your situation: is she telling the truth, is this a shit test, or is she making an excuse because she isn't interested and has already written me off?
Author:  Blues Guy [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
In my assessment, your reaction indirectly accused the girl of being a liar, and whether you were correct or not, that definitely destroyed the relationship that you had built up. And despite your bad boy protocol, I actually think your reaction sounds very much like you felt hurt by her cancellation. I think a curt, yet essentially kind response would have yielded better results. If you had said something like 'Nothing serious I hope', her (non-)reaction to this would have made clear what I would like to have known in your situation: is she telling the truth, is this a shit test, or is she making an excuse because she isn't interested and has already written me off?
It's more just a protocol and less about being hurt. If a girl flakes on the first date and doesn't give me a follow up plan, either she's not interested or she's dumb, both of which I don't have time for.

Nonetheless, she hit me up on facebook and said something about her family doesn't like white guys but she wants to hang out. Kinda weird, but, eh. She's young.
Author:  mother_fucker_2000 [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 11:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl being dumb (LJBF) after number close
Quote:
VERY QUICK number close tonight--like under a minute. Cashier at World Market, got her number while I was checking out. We made plans through text later to hang out tomorrow at 1, but she asked for my facebook. I gave it to her because I figured not enough comfort had been built and she'd be less likely to flake this way. This is an excerpt of our chat on FB:

HB8: im convinced you're very persistent
me: well, if you don't wanna go out that's totally cool, just figured id make it easier on you by making the first move!
HB8: lol i dont mind being friends
me: hahaha. that's really sweet, but i have plenty of friends
me: i don't grab numbers from girls to get more friends
HB8: i know me too im just not ready for anything this year has been hard enough
me: well thankfully i'm not asking you to marry me
HB8: lol i would hope not that would be weird

We're still meeting tomorrow, the conversation went on and I told her "are you a nice girl? I can't date nice girls" or something and she said "no im actually a huge bitch sometimes"

Was wondering if any of you guys have had experience with this? Is this a shit test/IOD/nothing? Why do girls do this after giving their number to a guy, and is it a common thing?
Yes you need to qualify: [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0SS9loGs7A[/youtube]
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