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Qualifers!! Useful list
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Author:  tongki [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 9:27 am ]
Post subject:  Qualifers!! Useful list
Hey guys, what are some good qualifiers or the ones you guys love to ise? I remember reading someones about listing three qualities a guy looks in a girl and for the third one, the guy withholds and says something.. Anyone remember what that qualifier was? And if u have any o ur fav ones plz share!!
Author:  pumpington [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 9:39 am ]
Post subject: 
you're qualifications should be genuine, the purpose of qualification is to increase investment from her end, find commonalities, and show interest in her, it gives you a sense for the chemistry you two possibly have

if you are not being genuine and actually screening for ''your'' actual interests, it is close to useless, it doesn't accomplish anything, qualification allows you to screen girls, show interest in her for things you are genuinely interested in and get her to invest more when there is mutual benefits to the two of you connecting (because when you have an interest in something, and she also has an interest in that thing, you both now have something to talk about)

if you are looking for other people to give you a list of their standards, what is the point? you won't have a good conversation on something she is qualified for, if you are not also interested in that thing... why pretend you are, when you are not?

what sort of girl do you like?, qualify them on what you are looking for, it isn't some tactic to ''get girls'' that you don't genuinely have interest in besides physically (you can qualify them on this also ''you're cute''), qualification is a tool for you to cut girls off that don't suit you, and invest in the ones that do

it allows you to focus on them with your mutal interests in mind and gives you a sense for what sort of person they are, simply by being curious about them
Author:  tongki [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks for the response. you are right, i should focus on using qualifiers to actually screen out girls. kind of always thought of it as a tool to attract girls. interesting pointer on there.

so what my question is, lets say what i want is a fun girl. what qualifier should i use then? "I like fun girls, but it seems like you are not that fun?"
Author:  Don Horneone [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
so what my question is, lets say what i want is a fun girl. what qualifier should i use then? "I like fun girls, but it seems like you are not that fun?"
You're confusing qualifying with negging (badly).

It's simple, just think of the quality you want them to have and ask them something that gives them a chance to....well, qualify themselves as to that quality, so you might say "so tell me, what's the most fun and spontaneous thing you've done lately?"

You can't be flat out saying "I want you to be like this - are you like this? Why aren't you like this? You silly bitch". You have to phrase it as an OPEN question that gives them the chance to think and give an example that relates to them.

I wrote another post on this which might also help:

how-do-you-improve-at-qualifying-vt147632.html

You don't need a list here, you just need to have the mentality where you have the nerve to question and challenge people and find out what they're REALLY about.
Author:  Don Horneone [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Think about it the other way round - if a girl comes to you and says "I want a man with drive and ambition, but I'm guessing you don't" would that make you feel good? Would you want to keep talking to her?

What if she phrased it as "so tell me, what are your ambitions? Where do you see yourself in five years time?" You might panic at the question or you might be glad of the opportunity to say "well, now you mention it, I was thinking of starting this project, I'm quite excited about it actually" and maybe that will show her what she wanted to know, that you DO have ambitions, without being rude about it but actually making you feel GOOD that you were able to share.
Author:  pumpington [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
so what my question is, lets say what i want is a fun girl.
just do have fun, if she has fun with you and you are having fun, she is there for fun

you can proceed to qualify her by saying something like,

''you're really fun to hang out with''

qualifying a girl is simply letting her know she posses a quality

a ''qualifier'' is a loaded question to see if she posses a quality, in no way do you need to specifically bait her into qualifying at all, lets say you like sporty girls

you could say, you like to play sports?, she says yes?, you can then proceed to qualify, off the qualifier, but a qualifier is not necessary, you should just be screening for real, and reward her by letting her know she is qualified when she is, because she suites your standards

if she meets a standard of yours around a more specific topic, you two can connect on that topic when you share it as a commonality
Author:  tongki [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ah! Thanks for the advice! that is a really good way of phrasing the question actually..

I should try using that question and see the kind of response I get..

Thanks man!!
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