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| Serious AA https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=145373 |
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| Author: | Lifo [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Serious AA |
Why is it, that even when I know girls are looking at me and are giving me IOI's when they look at me, can I still not approach them! |
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| Author: | ERock10 [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Because you've been conditioned to react that way. Approach, or the potential and opportunity to approach specifically, illicits anxiety. What most people do is take the path of least resistance, which in this case, is avoiding the approach. When you avoid the approach, you get a short but strong sense of relief and safety, which reinforces the avoidance response. In future approaches then, sense you have been conditioned to react that way, reinforced by the sense of relief it provided, you don't approach, even with obvious IOIs. In order to overcome it, you have to step out of your comfort zone, and systematicall desensitize yourself to the anxiety, a therapy developed by Dr. Joseph Wolpe to deal with phobias. For serious phobias, you would need the assitance of a mental health professional, but approach anxiety is something most people can overcome by themselves with some determination. What Wolpe would suggest would be to essentially create a list of goals to overcome the anxiety. In this case, it would be small goals that you would have for yourself, each goal being more difficiult than the previous one. For example, goal one could be to smile with eye contact at 10 strangers. Goal two could be to say "hey" to 10 strangers. Goal three could be to say "hey" and add 1 comment about something you observe to 10 strangers. And so on and so forth. Over time, as you reach and achieve these goals, you will slowly desensitize yourself to the approach anxiety. Don't make any goals too drastic as to not be realistic. They must be baby steps in order to be effective, and eventually, when you reach the final goal, whatever it may be, it will be much easier to achieve, rather than simply going all or none at one time. Maybe this is more than you were asking for, but there you go. At least, this is what has worked for me, and I had the same issue you are describing. Hope it helps. |
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| Author: | Melodical [ Sun Sep 09, 2012 8:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Because you're giving it power over you. Don't give it any. |
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| Author: | newpua2012 [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Call those girls out. It's good solid IOI's when they look at you, good eye contact, they want you to great them because they have no balls, but you have two balls so bat up and go for it. You: Your in trouble! I caught you staring at me, why are you checking me out! You: Thats not nice to stare at people. You: I saw you checking me out, stop that right now or I will call police. You're pick. Good body language/good tease, this isn't serious statement. Must come off funny or you won't win it. |
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