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| Nasty Anxiety help? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=51&t=142567 |
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| Author: | Incarnate [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Nasty Anxiety help? |
me and my new wingman RonSwanson went out last night feeling pretty nervous but kinda confident... when we got there we were both able to identify sets, but it took a bit to figure out openers that would work... but even when we did think of one or it was super obvious, we were both frozen by approach anxiety. we need some tips please |
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| Author: | Newfie [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
first off you might want to go in early, if you and your wing are together having fun then as people come in and see this you will look much better to them, they'll want to have fun too right? the three second rule is there for a reason, after three seconds you will over think things and listen to the incorrect voice in your head telling you it wont work out. once you see a set then just go for it even if you don't know your exact opener, use "hey guys I've got a minute before i have to get back to my friend, I need to get your opinion on something real quick" to give you a couple of extra seconds to think of your opener, and in that moment the opener WILL come to you. use a root, make sure they know you and your wing were discussing the opener you are about to use, any questions you would usually go onto the internet to find the answers to are now openers, and because they are genuine it is impossible for them to look like routines. the other main thing is, you or your wing are going to have to step up and take that role to be the first, once one of you get up and do it, even if you fail and come back to your wing, he will see that failing isn't that bad of a thing and then he will go to a set and if you succeed then he will be even more determined and relaxed to try it. Hope that helps! |
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| Author: | pumpington [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
hi is your new opener, go out in the next week, when girls respond, introduce yourself and talk GOOD LUCK |
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| Author: | Incarnate [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
great stuff there guys thanks! now just one more problem we had... is there anything you could do to help with my transition from openers to mid-game stuff? i can never think of anything |
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| Author: | pumpington [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:35 am ] |
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Quote: great stuff there guys thanks!
first off, stop them, tell them why you are talking with them, if there are multiple people ask them how they know each other (possibly opens new threads/gives logistics, couples, family, etc.), introduce yourself, talk, the less needy you come off the better, either stay in the set until sex, or tell them you want to take them out on a date somewhere (figure out what their interests are), if they are up for a date, set a time, ask girls if they are sure they are free that date so you don't plan something else, grab a number before you leave and don't forget to call them for the date, have fun on your date and kiss the girls you take outnow just one more problem we had... is there anything you could do to help with my transition from openers to mid-game stuff? i can never think of anything keep things as simple as you can for starters, don't fall into the trap of loading up on too much theory, do one thing at a time and keep challenging what you are comfortable with, only learn up to what you can do, if you try to skip ahead and don't internalize the material by practicing it, you will just start worrying in set about what to say or do next, you will over think, put too much pressure on yourself, get more nervous as a result and your mind will blank, don't worry about having sex with the girl, just meet her and make your goal give her the opportunity to meet and socialize with someone new, you don't need to have sex with every girl you talk to, just talk to guys and girls, and talk for the sake of talking, rather then just only purely to get laid, once you have some girl/guy numbers in your phone that you can call up to hang out with as friends, and getting that done is easy for you, start focusing more on the getting laid aspect for now, just take it one step at a time, say hi to 50+ people a day for 7 days in a row, if they respond, introduce yourself and talk, push yourself to what you're comfortable with, if the first paragraph is skipping too far ahead for you, and you need a worded transition to start talking to someone past ''hi'', you can try ''how are you?'' as a follow up, then use the stuff at the start of this post GOOD LUCK |
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| Author: | MagicM [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:48 am ] |
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Everyone will get approach anxiety, trick is figuring out ways to get over it. 3 things worked for me 1: On way out of every pub/bar, just say hi to everyone as you walk past, doesn't matter if you get a response or not you are leaving anyway. 2: Think of the most stupidest line ever to say, doesn't matter if you strike up a conversation or not, idea is to get you used to walking up to girls eg. Hi Im marvin the martian, what's your favourite flavour bowling bowl? (cant remember which book I got that from) eg2. Hi, is this chat up line working on you? (make sure you always smile and have a laugh at any of their responses) 3: I carry a deck of cards in my back pocket cause if conversation goes dry I have a couple of magic tricks I like to fall back on that escalate kino ect but always have to make sure you don't become a performing monkey. as for transitioning, I'm guessing your following MM in which case pumpington has explained it very well, but if your using Natural game then you want to strike up a conversation with a group which involves asking them a question getting a story from them and responding back with your own story before there is an awkward silence and dont forget to kino. |
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| Author: | Incarnate [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
thanks and i was mainly thinking in terms of natural game not MysteryMethod... i also carry around a deck of cards in my inner jacket pocket (i wear jeans, normal shirt, normal shoes, necklace, and a suit jacket) so i can spark something up if it dies. i like your "hi, is this pickup line working?" aswell... seems playful |
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| Author: | Synth. [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Nasty Anxiety help? |
Quote: me and my new wingman RonSwanson went out last night feeling pretty nervous but kinda confident...
Man think of it this way, you are the prize, your not walking over to try get a girl, you are walking over to have a simple conversation with someone that you have just met, if you show this quality to your game, the target will wonder, why isn't he trying to get with me like all other guys out there? This instantly puts you on a different level to her and to the rest of the guys in the club!! Also if your opening the whole group, try opening everyone except the target, just slightly turn your shoulder, just a small amount and if she says something instantly neg her.when we got there we were both able to identify sets, but it took a bit to figure out openers that would work... but even when we did think of one or it was super obvious, we were both frozen by approach anxiety. we need some tips please Another good point to remember is that if things don't go as well as planned, who cares?? You don't have to be scared of loosing the game and looking like an idiot, because these aren't your friends, you don't even know there names before you go over, ( you don't have to give your name to them, if they tell you there name its a definite IOI ) so this way you ain't loosing to a friend! So yeh rejection is hard to deal with but to become a good PUA, its important to realize you need to fail to become one of the best, now i don't claim I'm the best, I'm far from it actually but I hope you can take something from this message and go out there and put some ideas into practice, remember, no pressure man. Hope i helped you! Safe Sarging, Lambo. |
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| Author: | Newfie [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:39 am ] |
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Hey man, As a good transition I like to mix up two of styles ideas, Go to walk away, out of curiosity ask where everyone is from, use one of the places they say to move into a good DHV, 1 person in set: "I'm from London" Me: "no way I was in London a couple of weeks ago and this guy came over to me and cut a pencil in half with just a 5 pound note" Set:" blah blah no way that's impossible blah blah" Me: "ok I've literally only got a minute before I need to get back to my friends but I'll quickly show you" Can add a lock in about how you need to sit down to do your DHV if you need to. |
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