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It's been a long time since I last opened a topic - I like to analyze myself and fail before I ask questions, but now I need your help.
I got over most of AA, but I miss most of my approaches because I think they'll look at me like a weirdo if I don't have anything good to say, and even if I do, I don't know how to follow it up. So most possible approaches of mine are missed. I don't feel the nervousness as I used to, but as always, I overanalyze and lose, so the effect is the same, no approaches.
This is what happened yesterday: I was walking home with two female classmates and friends of mine (They are pretty cute, too bad they're taken) after some Christmas shopping downtown. As we walked over a bridge, we noticed three people, a next-door type girl, a guy, and a chick with lots of beautiful curly and (dyed) red hair. They seemed like classmates. I was just about to tell the girls with me to check her hair, but one of them told me first. So yeah, the girl was hot, nice body and face as well. We walked behind them for a while, but then they stopped at some place and we walked past them. Missed it.
I came up with many opener ideas as we walked behind them, but none of them seemed good enough or start a conversation, win her friends too (so I'm not just talking to the target) but not forget about my own friends either etc, etc. I came to the conclusion that approaching her and number-closing with success was impossible in my situation. But I am a reasonable thinking being, so of course, I know that it isn't an impossible situation, it's only me who can't come up with a solution.
Now, out of curiosity: What could've been done? What opener ideas would you use in this situation to succeed?
How to get over this "I'll have nothing to say after my opener" fear?
Thanks in advance.
First off, you have to find a way to meditate for even a few seconds and clear your head. The only bad opener is the one you never tell her! The way to get over this I'll have nothing to say after my opener is simple it's called Canned Routines. Meaning you develop your own routines, DHV stories, and practice them!!!!I got over most of AA, but I miss most of my approaches because I think they'll look at me like a weirdo if I don't have anything good to say, and even if I do, I don't know how to follow it up. So most possible approaches of mine are missed. I don't feel the nervousness as I used to, but as always, I overanalyze and lose, so the effect is the same, no approaches.
This is what happened yesterday: I was walking home with two female classmates and friends of mine (They are pretty cute, too bad they're taken) after some Christmas shopping downtown. As we walked over a bridge, we noticed three people, a next-door type girl, a guy, and a chick with lots of beautiful curly and (dyed) red hair. They seemed like classmates. I was just about to tell the girls with me to check her hair, but one of them told me first. So yeah, the girl was hot, nice body and face as well. We walked behind them for a while, but then they stopped at some place and we walked past them. Missed it.
I came up with many opener ideas as we walked behind them, but none of them seemed good enough or start a conversation, win her friends too (so I'm not just talking to the target) but not forget about my own friends either etc, etc. I came to the conclusion that approaching her and number-closing with success was impossible in my situation. But I am a reasonable thinking being, so of course, I know that it isn't an impossible situation, it's only me who can't come up with a solution.
Now, out of curiosity: What could've been done? What opener ideas would you use in this situation to succeed?
How to get over this "I'll have nothing to say after my opener" fear?
Thanks in advance.
That way when in doubt you have practiced material to fall back on. These don't have to be canned Mystery lines but your own stories and routines. It gives you something to fall back on if you have nothing spontaneous to say. Knowing that you have this as your "Backup" will give you added confidence.
Start thinking of some stories you can tell women that are good stories about you. Practice them, keep them short, interesting, and to the point. Practice them some more. We want them to be on the tip of your tongue that in any moment you could literally start telling one. It has to be almost a subconcious reaction... Kinda how taking that headshot on playstation is after 5 hours of play.
