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After opening I'm fine, but before that...
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Author:  Reno610 [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:32 am ]
Post subject:  After opening I'm fine, but before that...
I guess it may just be approach anxiety, but I have a real hard time initiating. Once I'm in a set, I perform great, I can usually manage to establish rapport pretty quickly, and can keep an entertaining conversation going for as long as needed.

But it's getting there that's the problem most of the time. I don't like canned openers, they don't strike me as something a guy would say to a girl in a college campus or party setting.

Should I just try the canned openers, or just open up with anything at all, and then go from there?

Thanks.
Author:  JSmooth [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: After opening I'm fine, but before that...
Quote:
I guess it may just be approach anxiety, but I have a real hard time initiating. Once I'm in a set, I perform great, I can usually manage to establish rapport pretty quickly, and can keep an entertaining conversation going for as long as needed.

But it's getting there that's the problem most of the time. I don't like canned openers, they don't strike me as something a guy would say to a girl in a college campus or party setting.

Should I just try the canned openers, or just open up with anything at all, and then go from there?

Thanks.
Write your own openers, be direct, or use situational stuff...the opener doesn't matter a lot. Just get in there and get the girl. :)
Author:  MynameisFisher [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
During the opening there is only one thing that matters. That's body language. You can literally go there and just say "Hi, my name is [insert name here]" if your body language is cool. Yes, the opener is casual but it doesn't matter as long as you look like a man and if from there you can keep it cool.
Author:  Alex Lockhart [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
It sounds like your only real problem is getting over the initial fear of approach. If you are fine once you open, what is the point of routines? It sounds like they would just act as a crutch to give you that that little extra confident boost you need. That could be great for awhile but you could end up relying on it, which isn't what you want at all.

I would suggest just opening with whatever pops into your head. I think Tim from RSD calls this The MAgic 8-Ball, or something similar. Don't even think about what you are going to say until you are in the set. After awhile that initial hesitation will fade. And trust me, if you aren't feeling too nervous you will always find something to say. If you are, that's okay, that will fade with time too.

You can also get creative with it. Set yourself a goal of how many sets you want to open. Make a bet with a friend. Try and find the silliest thing you can open with.

You just need to get out there!
Author:  Reno610 [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys.
Author:  detox75 [ Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:22 am ]
Post subject: 
as Alex says and also get comfortable using the 3-second rule, it will really help you
Author:  Ruzzali M82 [ Fri Dec 09, 2011 12:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
sometimes the canned material is good if you can't think of anything to say. Always have one in your mind just incase.
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