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Pissed off girl through text - help!
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Author:  fredtracy [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:38 am ]
Post subject:  Pissed off girl through text - help!
Met this girl through plenty of fish and had been talking to her for a few days before this text convo occurred. she seemed rather interested, and have been asking me a lot of questions, although some of her answers would be randomly short.

I'm trying to figure out if her getting pissed off was due to poor calibration on my part, or low self-esteem and oversensitivity on her part. I have a feeling it's maybe a little bit of both.

Anyhow, here's the conversation. I had just woken up and found a picture on my phone of her making a funny face.

her: *sends pic with subtitle: The most awkward picture. Ever.*

me: Nice hair do, I think i saw that on the cover of national geographic one time.

her: I wear it like that always… Jerk

me: hey I read that magazine just the chicks, it was a compliment!

her: probably just the chimps.

me: RACIST!!!

her: I've only dated black boys haha (She is white)

me: it still makes you RACIST! I bet you're like a chick on Ricki Lake I saw that hates her own race.

her: haha. Right

her: im awkward :/ (She randomly sent this when I didn't reply for awhile)

me: why?

her: idk you tell me! You call the awkward.

me: you said it just now, dork.

her: Frederick. (This was meant to be like a stern teacher saying my name as if I'm in trouble, if it wasn't clear)

me: Pokémon girl.

her: why am i a Pokémon?

me: what do you want to be when you grow up? (ignored her question..)

her: I want to write for a newspaper. You?

me: so you're a writer? send me something you've written!

her: go to *website*and look at stories. Find the one that teens whose parents are unemployed… I wrote it

me: I see your pic on there. You look like you lost a lot of weight. (I hesitated when sending this, I felt as though she might be the type of girl to be touchy about her weight, but in all honesty it was more compliment in a statement of fact that anything. This might have been where I need to be more calibrated.)

her: wow thanks for saying I used to be fat. You're not smooth.

----------------------

okay, at this point I feel that I could've recovered, but I didn't want to. She had shown some signs of neediness and clinginess before, and after the last text she sent me, I was simply done. I'll include the rest of the convo just for shits and giggles.

----------------------

me: you might be a little too insecure for me.. No hard feelings.

her: you might be a little bit too gentlemanly for me… No offense. You just reaffirmed why I don't date white guys

me: be well. :-)

----------------------

so, my question is this: was my comment about her having lost weight completely appropriate? And was I teasing her too hard in general to begin with?

I feel as though I may have been teasing her like she was a hb9 or something, when in reality she wasn't all that attractive.

Any input is welcome, and greatly appreciated. I just want to learn and improve. :)
Author:  pleasureseeker [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 7:37 am ]
Post subject: 
i'm confused what did you want from this girl? you flat out rejected her pretty early. You wouldn't of needed to do anything, if you talked to her again you could probably still have her.
Author:  AKyutie [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 7:40 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't think you were teasing too hard, but it's kind of usually not a good idea to talk about a girl's weight. However, it's not like you said "DAMMMM you were fat!" or "Wow you were hot then. Now you're so fat." It's usually a compliment when you tell someone they've lost weight, so yes I do agree that she was overly sensitive about your comment.
About the teasing, I don't think you were teasing her too hard. That's just how we flirt sometimes. C'est la vie!
Author:  Don Draper [ Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:41 am ]
Post subject: 
You come out with the last word. And the brilliance of a guy who isn't clingy or needy or the like.

Well done.

I agree with the poster above, who said that you could still get her.

You have the "Nice Guy with an Edge" game, it's a winner in the women circles.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pissed off girl through text - help!
Quote:

her: *sends pic with subtitle: The most awkward picture. Ever.*

me: Nice hair do, I think i saw that on the cover of national geographic one time.

her: I wear it like that always… Jerk

me: hey I read that magazine just the chicks, it was a compliment!

her: probably just the chimps.

me: RACIST!!!

her: I've only dated black boys haha (She is white)
think its good so far. the national geograpic line is funny imo.

Quote:
me: it still makes you RACIST! I bet you're like a chick on Ricki Lake I saw that hates her own race.

her: haha. Right

her: im awkward :/ (She randomly sent this when I didn't reply for awhile)

me: why?

her: idk you tell me! You call the awkward.

me: you said it just now, dork.

her: Frederick. (This was meant to be like a stern teacher saying my name as if I'm in trouble, if it wasn't clear)

me: Pokémon girl.

her: why am i a Pokémon?

this whole part is real akward. it was funny when you call her racist, but you should have dropped it after that one comment. over text stuff like this needs to CLEARLY be a joke and not something she can misinterpret as you actually being argumentative.

if you still wanna go with the rikki lake line/racist theme, then something slightly more playful like "lol ya right ur probably like those girls on the rikki lake show that hate their own race :P". but really, you should have just dropped it.

also, good job just ignoring her "haha right" text. when girls send texts like this midconversation, i think you should almost always just not respond to it. texts like that are lazy and is basically her saying "i have nothing to add here, continue to entertain me".

i dont get the pokemon girl thing. is it an inside joke or something? apparently not cuz she didnt seem to get it either.

Quote:
me: what do you want to be when you grow up? (ignored her question..)

her: I want to write for a newspaper. You?

me: so you're a writer? send me something you've written!

her: go to *website*and look at stories. Find the one that teens whose parents are unemployed… I wrote it

me: I see your pic on there. You look like you lost a lot of weight. (I hesitated when sending this, I felt as though she might be the type of girl to be touchy about her weight, but in all honesty it was more compliment in a statement of fact that anything. This might have been where I need to be more calibrated.)

her: wow thanks for saying I used to be fat. You're not smooth.
this isnt bad i guess. definitely dont like the weight comment. nothing good can come of it really.

Quote:
okay, at this point I feel that I could've recovered, but I didn't want to. She had shown some signs of neediness and clinginess before, and after the last text she sent me, I was simply done. I'll include the rest of the convo just for shits and giggles.

----------------------

me: you might be a little too insecure for me.. No hard feelings.

her: you might be a little bit too gentlemanly for me… No offense. You just reaffirmed why I don't date white guys

me: be well. :-)
good job ending it first, being classy, and not taking the bait here

Quote:
so, my question is this: was my comment about her having lost weight completely appropriate? And was I teasing her too hard in general to begin with?

I feel as though I may have been teasing her like she was a hb9 or something, when in reality she wasn't all that attractive.

Any input is welcome, and greatly appreciated. I just want to learn and improve. :)
you did ok with the teasing, especially given that youre a couple of days into texting her so she should have a decent understanding of your personality and sense of humor by now.

overall, i think its fine. although you could have been slightly more playful and fun in some areas. but thats the case almost 100% of the time that someone posts a text message conversation on her to be analyzed. you definitely get it imo.
Author:  GAPP [ Mon Aug 15, 2011 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
From my experience there is some certain subjects you should try to avoid, unless you REALLY know how to handle yourself with words and can get away with anything. Some of these subjects could include weight, and racism - unless it's done really lightly. Overall I think you did OK - you guys were just not meant to be. :)
Author:  fredtracy [ Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys, I got some really wonderful comments here.

As it turns out, she messaged me a two-text-long reply a few days later out of nowhere, saying she somehow found my website and really liked the writing..

I waited a day or so to respond with "haha thanks."

Then she said "who is this?"

Thinking she probably knows very well who it is, I ignored it.

Women are quite an interesting breed. I'll see if I can make something out of this. :)
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